whenever my bf gets stressed at work he threatens to leave the country without meand it scares the hell out of me because I know he can afford to, before I met him I was just some dumb slutboy but now I have structure in my life and actually have a job

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File: 6345cbf31d39e48⋯.jpg (75.44 KB, 762x1048, 381:524, drawn-sadness-sad-guy-13.jpg)

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 00:58:30 No.375728

whenever my bf gets stressed at work he threatens to leave the country without me

and it scares the hell out of me because I know he can afford to, before I met him I was just some dumb slutboy but now I have structure in my life and actually have a job and am doing well at college

what should I do? he's the only thing that makes me feel happy/sane

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 01:17:36 No.375730

File: bd2a6d9c3a6c0c1⋯.jpg (8.01 KB, 282x200, 141:100, anime_hug_by_ozgurkirito-d….jpg)

>>375728

Anon, I was recently in your shoes. He actually did leave but I got over it fast. Basically, you have to see the negatives in your bf and see that you're not perfect together.

No matter how you feel about him now, everyone leaves eventually in life. Once you get used to the fact, just remember you're bound to meet people that will want spend time with you.

If you're not annoying and share hobbies, somebody will want to hang out with you.

Humans are social beings after all…

You still have a job and you have college to distract you from the temporary loneliness/sadness, so it won't be so bad in that regard.

If you want to talk more, give me your discord/steam.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 01:19:37 No.375731

>>375730

I'm not too sure on how discord adds work but my number thingy is #7675

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 01:28:08 No.375732

File: 4300801bbee6426⋯.png (63.95 KB, 835x559, 835:559, test.png)

>>375731

What's the actual name tho?

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 01:31:18 No.375733

File: 54210c8051dc717⋯.png (26.62 KB, 387x143, 387:143, ClipboardImage.png)

>>375732

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 01:40:50 No.375734

>>375728

when a relationship has that sort of power imbalance that can be very unhealthy, and if he making threats like that to which you are genuinely vulnerable willy nilly then that's definitely a problem.

The most important thing in any relationship is communication so you should talk to him about this if you haven't already, be open and honest about how you feel about his threats, whether he's serious or whether he's just frustrated and saying it offhandedly in which case you should tell him that it makes you feel.

if you love eachother you need to be honest and open about your insecurities about eachother. If he really would leave you like that then you're probably better off without him, at least as long as you're looking for a long-term relationship.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 01:54:45 No.375735

>>375734

I do try talk to him about it but he just shuts me out and yells and I just panic

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 02:06:31 No.375738

>>375735

yeah that's definitely unhealthy and abusive. Does he have a lot of stress to deal with? Maybe he just struggles to cope and takes it out on you? If so maybe its something you just have to work through together and be understanding of eachother. Otherwise he might just be abusive and bad for you, exploiting your vulnerability in relation to him as leverage for emotional blackmail.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 02:10:31 No.375740

>>375738

he's mainly stressed because he dislikes his job and can't get a job in what he's studying because everyone here just hires foreigners because their cheaper (not trying to make it a race thing but it happens here too much, can't even get a job delivering pizzas here)

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 02:23:44 No.375741

File: af04bb8888997a0⋯.gif (387.92 KB, 250x331, 250:331, shinji nod.gif)

>>375740

that's tough. It's a real struggle to maintain relationships with the current economic conditions, jobs, housing, etc. and its all out of your power. You shouldn't let him yell at you and shout you down like that though, nothing good can come of that. Ultimately only you can judge what kind of relationship you're in and what kind of relationship you want to be in, so there's not much i advice i or anyone else can offer but power imbalances in relationships can do a lot of good and be a lot of fun but are also dangerous and if your bf is abusive of the power he has over you, you should get out of that relationship because you can't live and love with a sword of damocles over your head all the time. I hope everything ends up well and without heartbreak for you anon.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 02:27:10 No.375742

>>375741

yea like :/ I enjoy the heck out of the power imbalance because I'm submissive as hell, but when he uses it to threaten me with just ditching country I don't know what to do/how to feel

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 02:36:43 No.375744

>>375742

same, i'm also very submissive/a boytoy with my bf most of the time, although we switch frequently, except i mostly support us economically. The important thing is to distinguish between having fun with any sort of power in a relationship and abusing it. Whether its breaking consent through force, or blackmailing emotionally or by threatening one's livelihood you have to draw a line. I really hope you manage to work through this together but don't let yourself get hurt anon.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 02:44:01 No.375747

>>375744

thanks, I just want him to get a job he's happy with here so he doesn't have a reason to leave

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 09:46:47 No.375766

>>375742

Being the sub does not mean he can discard your feelings though. I'm just as much into it as the next sub, but if my partner took advantage of that outside of bed it would bother me.Even more so if it was something that hurt me like that.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 11:28:42 No.375772

File: 4cb5b00124cb75f⋯.png (174.71 KB, 384x390, 64:65, 4cb5b00124cb75f29fb447f455….png)

>>375742

You're confusing a dominate/submissive relationship with a master/slave relationship. Going into this relationship did you fully acknowledge him being able to make decisions/have control for you outside of the bedroom? The fact you're worried tells me you didn't and you think just because you love being dominated in bed it means you need to be dominated everywhere else. While those relationships certainly exists with happy people inside them, both were very aware of what they were getting into and still should have talks from time to time about what they are inside of. If you're not feeling comfortable about a situation, either talk to him about and accept you don't actual like this sort of powerplay outside of the bedroom, or accept that if you place this much responsibility on someone to make all those decisions for you that he completely has the ability to do this. It sounds like the former to me so you should stop using your fetish as an excuse.

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 23:08:52 No.375808

>>375772

>the sub should be ready that his partner will flat out leave him because he's angry at work and also leave the country, meaning it's also a break up

yeah, ok buddy,

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 23:34:02 No.375809

>>375808

>put someone in charge of you outside the bedroom

>upset when that person uses it to threaten you

Anonymous 03/19/18 (Mon) 23:53:45 No.375812

>>375809

>Justifying it knowing it's wrong.

Anonymous 03/20/18 (Tue) 00:26:17 No.375813

>>375812

Did I ever say it was correct? To say OP is blameless is blatantly wrong if he's handing out control like candy. If you're a slave who doesn't vet your master you're a dumbass.

Anonymous 03/20/18 (Tue) 00:35:38 No.375815

>>375813

fair enough