No.342930
Anyone else used to be a 4chan trap around 2010ish but now you're old as fuck and actually look like a grown ass man? In a way I'm kind of glad because I realized I was never gay in the first place.
It's strange seeing pictures of myself posted from back then. It's like looking at a different person. It was 7 years ago but doesn't even feel that long ago.
No.342934
No.342935
>>342930
I am interested to hear more about your experience, OP.
Did you post regularly?
When did you realize you're not attracted to men?
No.342936
>>342930
Also how old are you now?
No.342940
>>342934
I deleted them a long ass time ago. I don't even like looking at them whenever I see them, it disgusts me.
>>342935
There were a few periods where I "pretended" I was bi but I finally just kinda realized to myself "wow, I'm not actually gay" and it hit me like a ton of bricks. and then I bingewatched straight porn for weeks before finally getting my shit together and pretending all that mess never happened.
I was too socially anxious to approach girls or even talk to people so getting any kind of sexual attention on anonymous imageboards made me feel kinda wanted.
I remember trying to force myself to jerk off to gay porn, what the fuck was wrong with me?
Glad it's all behind me now. Just found this place and I was wondering if anyone was in a similar position.
>>342936
I'm 24 now and was 18 when I started.
No.342977
>>342940
Well I'm glad you figured out what you really want. Some things we experience as a phase I suppose. I just hope that isn't true for me, and I come to despise what I've done and want my time back.
No.342978
>>342940
>I remember trying to force myself to jerk off to gay porn, what the fuck was wrong with me?
I've made myself jerk off to more masculine gay porn that I would normally like, and it really didn't take me long to become okay with it. I think it was more just a matter of making myself accept what I really wanted because I'm not "supposed to" like it, or something like that I don't know. Did it ever feel like that to you?
I think about this sometimes too, but then I remember I've had girlfriends but have literally never had any interest in them and it was mostly just them coming onto me. Anytime I fantasize about a relationship, it's with a guy, not a girl. I was also bicurious by the time I was like 14, so I'm probably just an actual fag.
No.343086
This is why pederasty should be legal.
>>342930
You prob weren't a cutie, just trying at something that you weren't.
No.343090
Post new pics. Let us see that manly body of yours, cutie? Do you have nice abs I can rub my face on? Maybe a little hair? Come on don't be shy. I bet you're still cute.
No.343092
>>343086
This is terrible bait.
No.343094
>>343092
Yeah.
Everyone knows pederasty is not technically illegal most places.
>While relationships in ancient Greece involved boys from 12 to about 17 or 18,[8] in Renaissance Italy they typically involved boys between 14 and 19,[9] and in Japan the younger member ranged in age from 11 to about 19.
>Most countries have ages set between 13 and 16. But worldwide, the average age of consent is 16 years of age.[3][4]
No.343095
>>343094
Well I meant the second part was bait specifically, but the pederasty part also seems like bait in retrospect.
No.343096
I'm in my mid 20s and the only thing that's changed since I was like 15 is that I've got a better sense of fashion than I did when I was a teenager (and I guess more matured, but still fairly soft features. I definitely don't have a masculine look though, but not really feminine enough to be a trap either probably.). I don't regret being femme, and I don't think I ever will. If anything I'll regret pretending to be masculine and putting up this facade of 'just an average dudely dude guys haha nothing to see here' because I was afraid of being bullied and friendless throughout middle and high school. I think even if I did end up getting bullied for it I would've been happier than I was if I'd just been myself.
No.343105
Yep I used to trap it up. Not on chans though, too much doxxing drama.
I'm in my thirties now, receding hairline, beard, all that stuff. Have occasional episodes of dysphoria where I wanna be the cute girl and chug a bunch of cocks, but it's usually a reaction to feeling unattractive.
No.343153
>>342940
pretty fucking easy test on whether your gay or not is who appears in wet dreams, women or men or both
No.343614
>>342940
>I was too socially anxious to approach girls or even talk to people so getting any kind of sexual attention on anonymous imageboards made me feel kinda wanted.
>I remember trying to force myself to jerk off to gay porn, what the fuck was wrong with me?
this is literally me…
I started forcing (I would say i am heavily heterosexual leaning bisexual, on the kinsey scale) myself into watching gay porn when I was about 18 and I'm 23 now.
I have only had sex with males.
After being treated like a worthless piece of shit by females, it was refreshing to be made to feel as though i had any sort of value at all.
the biggest challenge is accepting the fact that male bodies are hairy.
if only males were hairless.. i would truly be a homo…
No.343617
It was the opposite for me. I always hated homos in my teens and always thought they were reprobates. I'm 20 now and in the past week or so I've finally been exploring bisexuality and I'm really starting to enjoy it.
The thing is, I have no problems getting female attention, but I still enjoy looking at men like twinks. I wish I could have a boyfriend for a bit to see if this lifestyle is truly for me.
>the biggest challenge is accepting the fact that male bodies are hairy.
if only males were hairless.. i would truly be a homo…
Twinks are a thing! I can't stand hairy men, either.
No.343618
>>343614
Oops, meant the second part for you:
>Twinks are a thing! I can't stand hairy men, either.
No.343620
Was never a trap but went through a phase of wanting to fuck one, now I can't believe how I thought that was a good idea.
No.343623
>>343620
why are you here then?
No.343627
No.343629
>>343627
no, at my best i was a slightly chubby otter
(when I say "chubby" i'm not using that word as a euphemism for fat, my belly was just not as flat as is the boi beauty standard)
No.343634
>>343614
Finding hairless men in turkey seems like a challenge as you cant shave in that climate without having the faggotbrand.
-except-
If you become an oilwrestler, but then you need to never ever get a hardon or you will be the worst kind of that guy.
No.343640
>>342940
Posts like this always make me scared I'm just memeing myself into being gay.
My ex was hairy and kinda older and I enjoyed doing stuff with him so I'm not just meme gay, r-right?
No.343641
>>343634
its weird having that flag on my posts
i study in the usa, but came home for vacation
thankfully, american boys are more redeemable in terms of how hairy they are
No.343642
>>342930
I'm the other way around. Always wanted to when I looked really young, but now I have longer legs and have started these past 2 or so years. I think I look alright. Face will never pass without makeup but that goes for everyone I guess. My hair is much longer at least
No.343645
>>343642
having a partner who likes you as a girl replacement is not the way to go honestly
No.343646
Kinda the opposite for me, I used to crossdress quite a lot a few years back. Now I am leaner, shave more often and have longer hair but I've basically abandoned that fetish. I can't even remember the last time I put on a bra or a dress.
No.343654
>>343645
I'm actually a virgin. Never had a partner or anything of the sort. And I'm obviously a boy when I'm not dressing up. Actually I have a beard growing in at the moment I might shave off some time. In some pics I used to take, I had facial hair but I don't show face
No.343682
No.343688
Similar story here. I crossdressed for /b/ a few times when I was 18/19. I'm about to turn 27 now and I've become a lot manlier. I don't really regret it, though. It was pretty fun.
No.343689
>>343682
26. I'm lucky I still look alright. My body figure is better than ever I think. Don't judge me too harshly please, I know there's a lot wrong
No.343692
>>342930
I think I might actually know you OP.
Do you still post in steam threads and what part of the UK are you from?
No.343750
>>343692
>steam threads
never have
look >>343641
No.343799
>>342930
>>342930
Yuuuuup. I was more like 08 or 09. Now my body is substantially more manly. It's nice for ladies but I'm sad I'm not cute anymore sometimes.
No.343889
>>343623
>why are you here then?
because trap porn is awesome, but guys are never that cute in person
No.344080
>>343692
North East England.
I recall posting in steam threads a lot a while back.
No.374969
>>343614
>>342930
i used to just kind of watch porn and be uninterested in talking to girls who liked me in primary school and high school, there wasnt that many albeit. some attractive some not so much. i used to be very popular in primary school but kind of found a middle ground in high school. i had the urge to be romantic but never remember feelings of wanting to kiss girls. i did some gay shit as a kid as well like rubbing my dick on male friends dicks at sleep overs. i watch/watched quite a lot of porn but found myself attracted to big and uncut dicks. not really other male features. at a party i got super drunk and had bjs with some random guy. it was pretty average for both of us and lef tme kind of feeling weird. i didnt really know what to make of it. i think i slid into the watching porn category and found it uneasy but warmed to a point where i can find athletic and cute men attractive. the porn gets me hard but isnt more of a fantasy. i still at times get horny to fuck women but still never urges to kiss them and kissing men feels bad as well. ive later had odd chances to fuck etc women and felt less like it was worth it. im kind of indifferent and just unsure at this point :/
No.374973
>>374969
forgot to add i also think the social climet is playing into it as well being constantly shamed for having straight thoughts by the media and society. bi or gay is an instant free pass to likability and social acceptance as well. mixing with inferiority complex and a want to be interesting as well on some level as hip relevant because bi is an extended fashion statement. In other ways i feel its also developed in some ways from inital lack of interest to realized interest in women but not having the experience to deal with it. as well as being turned off by the way western women behave makes it unappealing to want to enter the race at all not that i find it hard to deal with women. i can pick up, get hit on from time to time. it just feels like the social pressuring has brought to a point where labels are a must and it needs to be constantly validated and swept as a personality trait rather than a seperate orientation. im happiest with it without the constant reminders and just letting it take a back seat, not worrying and if i feel like jerking it to men just can with no reason for deeper meaning. with it being constantly discussed it becomes harder to the point theres no backing down. everyone is hell bent on reasserting how gay you are it would be monstrous to be straight. even though it feels everyone else has alsmost snowballed this progressiveness away from any choice you had. a comedian had a similar anecdote that he described being lonely and dating a man before realizing he was straight and you cant simply undo being gay. there's no coming out party or mardi gras for the people who got it wrong to say the least. if you pretend to be straight and are gay no harm no foul. either its a pass or the people who dont agree are the a holes. on top of everything i dont get socially swaed by the populas on really any other issue in life ie desire to dress as the masses do etc. wich is maybe why i didnt mind getting into the admittance of saying things about genuine gay thoughts to begin with. it's almost like playing a character as i see life through a lens of portrayals of what a person wants to present to the world and this is just a set of attributes composing what an other persons interpretation might be. it's also hard to say no when everytime i go out multiple gays try and come on to me perhaps through how ive learned to behave. and the point on there being no prison straights (gay males fucking women out of any similar reason) sheds some light on the issue.in some ways its ironic because without knowing how gay i really am (assuming very small amount) i found i could attract the prettiest gays if i wanted to because i actually tried and that a girl i sort of liked i knew liked me when i was uninterested didnt make a move on me since because she assumed i was gay. to add more irony i drunkenly tried to describe most of the same content to the very friends i was trying to impress by hamming it up (who few of which liked me as a result) only to be shunned for coming clean. that goes to show what ever way it turned out there's no use being anything else to impress someone even if its exactly what needs to be done for acceptance but to just not worry in the first place if they liked you or not. the friends most of which were annoying me by the end anyway with various degrees of coldness but fallout still left more sadness that an initial not liking.
obviously ive thought about this a lot sorry for the walls of text
No.374974
>>343799
also this ive shaved my hair (cutest feature) and look quite nice in a manly way but am missing the feeling of not being cute anymore which is probably from a lack of desirability or fear of it not being an on off switch like behavioral patterns and leading more permanent change
No.374981
>>343614
>After being treated like a worthless piece of shit by females, it was refreshing to be made to feel as though i had any sort of value at all.
This is why I did it. The attention, the praise, it was unlike anything I had ever felt in my life and it felt amazing. I knew I wasn't actually into guys but I wanted, no needed to feel wanted.
Anyway, after lurking for like 5 years I finally started in 2013, just a few months before the exodus. Now I'm 27 fucking years old and I still come here looking for I don't know what.
I still have the pictures. I don't know why I kept them but I don't regret it. It was fun and it made me feel good about myself.
No.375199
>tfw you realize that you have just been lying to yourself for 3 years and pissed away multiple opportunities to capitalize on your fatherly instincts
>half of the men you been with hardly remember you and the other half are now divorced
>the gay community is just a bunch of entitled hedonistic men that really only care about their own satisfaction though getting off another man or pleasuring himself
>officially too degenerate and autistic for a normal hard working family oriented woman and I have to fish for something that only exists in a 2D Japanese cartoon
The truth hurts lads
No.375211
this thread is pretty eye opening. I'm pretty much you from the past right now
No.375248
>>375199
very very very relateable.
tohugh id like to add somthing i experienced alot in the past. the guys that tend to prefer males with feminine features 7-8 times out of 10 arent really gay? im not sure of a good way to describe it but they will basiclly just use you until they find a girl or a girl takes intrest in them its always a better option. gay culture is fucking trash and honestly i wish the whole thing would just get super aids and die
No.375271
>>343105
>I used to trap
>in my thirties now
>receding hairline, beard
oof! I'm not trying to make you feel bad, anon, but …
Imagine going out with a qt in their 20's, they're basically a replacement for a girl, and staying with them, then they become a gross uggo male.
It would be heartbreaking for both people. I don't think I would have the heart to break up with them, but at the same time that happening is inevitable.
That's why :
>going out with a trap
>not even once
Except if they do the only right thing at this point, which is transitioning and becoming a cute girl and aging gracefully. That would be fine.
But unironically dating an actual homosexual male is just too much, especially if they try to act cute still but look awful. Might as well go full gay then.
No.375272
>>374973
>forgot to add i also think the social climet is playing into it as well being constantly shamed for having straight thoughts by the media and society.
No.376446
I am reminded of this, lol
No.376447
>>342930
I burned all of mine
No.376493
iktf op.
used to trap it up age 19-20 but at age 21 now my hairline is starting to recede. I still have the fem features on my body but my tummys starting to fill out, my legs aren't as thin as they used to be.
I really don't want to be a man. People meme about gay death but it exists. You either get stuck in the past, embrace it or kill yourself. I still don't know what I'm going to do.
No.376499
>>376493
get on fin, stop eating garbage and don't do drugs.
gay death only exists if you treat your body like shit
No.376518
I used to cam-whore in 2010, and I cam-whore now. My body and face are literally exactly the same. Looked like a gaunt fugly middle-aged French woman then, look like a gaunt fugly middle-aged French woman now. Hair probably looks better now that I know how to take care of it. Older people still think I'm 18.
I don't know if it's the vegetarian diet, the fact that I never did drugs or smoked, or the moisturizing lotion on my face, but not much changed other than getting hair on my back and upper arms. That's the annoying part. The peach fuzz on my forearms is even still there though(or would be if I didn't Nair it).
I'm going to show signs of age eventually, but I hope to be married by then and just embrace the old man aesthetic and not feel the need to cam-whore at all.
What annoys me a lot about getting older is how much culture changes, particularly how image boards used to be filled with people my age and older, and now it's filled with teenagers half my age sometimes posing as adults. The worst part of that is how even though I'm older, I stay so out of the loop that when I post people just think I'm 12 and what is this or some normie Redditer(I've never used Reddit) because the last time I gave a damn about memes was 2005. There is absolutely no reward for getting older on image boards, and a lot of incentive to just leave and move on entirely, which I tried to do a few times, but eventually I always get sucked back in with the promise of fun but the delivery of tears.
What's changed most is how emotionally fragile and sensitive I am compared to back then. Eight years ago I felt like a bullet-proof statue, but now I feel like a 13 year old girl with teenager issues(or just Shinji). I thought people became stronger mentally as they age, but I guess that's not true. I don't have anything to be smug about.
No.376551
>be 26
>just started being a 4chan slut
I feel like I'm doing the opposite of what everybody else did
No.376567
>>376551
It takes a few years and a lot of loneliness to grow into that phase sometimes. I didn't start cross dressing for other people until I was 25 and the only girlfriend I ever had broke up with me.
No.376747
>>376493
>literally two years
why so dramatic?
No.376755
>>376499
i don't have the money for fin.
I eat really well right now aside from the occasional junkfood like a chocolate muffin or a packet of crisps. I don't do drugs at all.
>>376747
dramatic about what?
No.376776
>>376755
you can't possibly have changed that much in only 2 years
No.376802
>>376776
Pretty sure I did bud.
I also stopped working out/doing exercise so that contributes to the lil chub on my tummy. My 'waist' isn't as defined anymore and it's just kinda straight and male pattern baldness hits hard and fast. A lot of people who get it deal with like 40% of their head hair mass being lost in the 1st 2 years.
My hair used to be really thick and now it's thin as hell.
No.376805
>>376755
>i don't have the money for fin.
it's like 20 bucks a month if you have insurance
>I also stopped working out/doing exercise
start doing exercise again them
No.376834
Daily reminder that starting HRT can reverse hair loss that occurred in the previous few years. The hair cells are alive but test. and DHT are slowly killing them. Takes a couple years to grow back tho.
Source: personal experience - significantly receding hairline by early 20s, but two years HRT and it grew back maybe 80%. the I detransitioned and within a year hairline’s receded again