/co/ - Comics & Cartoons

>>977555 (check'd)

>the gail simone plastic-man announced back in 2013 is actually happening

more like Fail Simone amirite

Poor Eel. He’s going to be written as the gay trans homosex now

>>977555

I'm a newfag regarding her but afaik Gail actually has talent but she's to much of an SJW to use it?

>>977564

>Gail Simone

>Talented

She's a hack that got a job writing comics by bitching about the amount of women that were killed in comics. Her entire career is basically being the "woman" in comics, despite the fact she's a hypocrite that always tows the company line.

If her Plastic Man book is going to be anything like her other titles, then it's going to be hilariously awful.

>>977566

>That pic

Is that real?

Isn't it an edit?

>>977569

>>977569

It's real.

>>977566

>Oh gee, Plas, we gotta find out who's killing all these Muslim transsexuals

>You're right Woozy, but first LET'S STUFF OUR FACES FULL OF ICE CREAM AND DONUTS

>NEW Mary Sue OC: POTATO!

10/10 Wins all the Eisners.

>>977555

>I: When did you and DC start talking about having you do this Plastic Man mini-series?

>GS: It came about around a year ago. The mini-series is already written, actually. It's a nicely contained story that's a lot of fun and creepy, too.

>I: Plastic Man is a very interesting DC character. He's obviously known for his humor, but he has great power and he's been around a long time. How did you approach the character to put a new twist on him?

>GS: When I think about Plastic Man, he was genuinely the first funny super hero. I"m obviously attracted to that. There's also this great mixture of tragedy in there, too, that I love. The humor comes from a place of pain. And a lot o people I know, the bravest ones, deal with their pain through humor. So I really like trying to find that balance and keeping that rollercoaster going where there is enough tragedy going on that the humor kind of helps you get through it, and that's what this series is.

>GS: This character was so ahead of its time when it was created. The stuff we're seeing in Deadpool and Harley Quinn now, Plastic Man was doing in the 1940s. It's a character that was ahead of its time back then and the stories are still funny and still relevant. So just kind of bringing him into the modern DCU was the big thing for me.

>I: He was known for humor when that wasn't what people expected of super hero books. Is that one of your goals with this gig, to raise the appreciation of Plastic Man?

>GS: Exactly, and the content is about PG-13. I mean, Plastic Man is probably the only super hero who would dare make fun of Batman at a Justice League meeting.

>>977578

>including one in particular that I'm completely in love with and I hope will stick around for awhile

We're getting another rat boy that Gail clearly schlicks to.

>>977576

>>977578

Is…is this why Jack Cole shot himself? Like, on that August day in 1958, he suddenly had a vision of this happening, and immediately went out, bought a gun, and killed himself, all to make absolutely sure he wouldn't live to see it?

He sent suicide letters to his wife and his boss, Hugh Hefner. Maybe he warned Hefner about this but Hef died before he could prevent it.

>>977555

>>977578

>>977576

Hopefully it will not affect how he is handled in The Terrifics. Lemire seems to have a good grasp in him, so his book could be a good counterweight for Simone's cancer. Her book will probably get cancelled after 6 or 12 issues anyway.

In the meantime, we can say goodbye to things like this for the time being.

>>977564

I used to think so, because I found her initial volumes of Secret Six mildly entertaining when I was a teen. I came back to them decade later, and dialogues are either stupid or cringe inducing. It has some decent ideas, but that and fan service are her Secret Six' only redeeming qualities.

>>977569

How new are you, faggot?

>>977566

>She's a hack that got a job writing comics by bitching about the amount of women that were killed in comics.

Well she had a little help from being on this man's forum and networking with other early Aught's "pros".

Tis true folks Warren Ellis heavily promoted this dame back in the early 2000's, along with some other cancerous folks on the Warren Ellis Forum. Tell me again anon how much you liked Transmetropolitan now sonny.

>>977631

>Tom Kenny loves the hell out of Plastic Man

>He will never get to play Plas in his own full length cartoon

This is the worst timeline.

>>977555

>Gail Simone

>a comics writer who has a "tell, don't show" writing style

>writing a character that relies heavily on physical exaggeration and surreal slapstick for humor

Oh, yeah. This is going to be total shit.

What could go wrong for our hero?

>>977668

>>977669

>twitter posts

>>977609

>>977610

>>977773

YOU HAVE SPOKEN THE MAGIC WORDS, ANONS! BEHOLD! THE MOVEMENT!

Way back in 2013, DC decided to capitalize on the "Occupy Wallstreet" movement long after "Occupy" stopped being a thing. They released two titles plus ad campaigns promoting them. The first was a new version of The Green Team, which was boring and an unworthy successor to Joe Simon's insane seventies comic. The other was THE MOVEMENT, written by Gail Simone. Neither title sold very well, with The Green Team being canned after eight issues and The Movement getting canned at twelve.

Yet, of the two, it's THE MOVEMENT is the one that stuck with us, because, unlike the bland Green Team, THE MOVEMENT is hilariously awful.

So drop those donuts and put down those milk-shakes! It's time to take a trip to the bathroom because THE MOVEMENT is here!

>>977789

So we're introduced to Gail's crappy anonymous rip-off, and one of the best characters in this heap, Captain Black Dynamite, chief of the world's shortest two story police station.

We also get to meet my personal favorite character, Burden, as he's about to enter a Presbyterian church. Gail makes a note of it, since she apparently thought there was only one Christian denomination because she's stupid like that. Anyway, Burden's got demon powers or something.

>>977793

Now we get to see the MOVEMENT in action, and their action consists of impeding police investigations and generally being self-righteous pricks. Gail makes no attempt actually make the good people or some justifiable conflict why they'd treat the police like douchebags. They're just heroes because Gail said so.

Also, this fucking dialogue.

>>977795

For example, black emotion reader thinks it's a good idea to not only talk down to Captain Black Dynamite, but to use her powers to tell him his wife is having an affair. It's an incredibly bitchy move and this title is full of shit like that. The MOVEMENT is made up almost entirely of completely unlikable assholes.

>>977798

The end of the first issue is a bunch of citizens telling a cop that they don't want them there, though if it were me, I'd welcome any sort of authority figure after all that shit just happened. Maybe they can do something about the rat boy that just ripped up my church or the demon boy that nearly killed a man.

>>977797

>you going to do the whole thing or just the first issue?

I have to storytime the whole thing because everyone needs a good idea of what Gail Simone is going to be doing to Plastic Man.

>>977777

Checking these quads.

In THE MOVEMENT #2, the MOVEMENT has taken two officers of the law hostage and are now holding them in their lair, THE SWEAT-SHOP. The Swat-shop is clearly a reference to the Triangle Shirt-Waist factory that infamously burned up in 1911 and claimed the lives 123 women and 23 men, but what I want you to note how Gail uses it. It comes off that she just found out about it and decided to include it in her book without really understanding what it was.

This scene is also where we are introduced to the voice of reason that is Officer Joe Whitt. Despite abusing his power to demand a girl show him her tits, everything he says, in this series, is completely right. In fact, he is so right that Gail really can't figure out anything for her characters to say but "Shut up".

Also, it's not an exaggeration to say that the MOVEMENT is completely insane. Ratto is clearly mentally disturbed and they're deliberately choosing not to take him to professionals who can help him.

>>977802

Comics hurt me, anon.They hurt me every day.

>>977836

Whoops, got a little ahead of myself. Still, look at that fucking kid. The boy needs therapy.

Burden continues to be my favorite. He gets a hoodie and starts talking about how the people around him are crazy. He's just a good boy, he doesn't need this in his life. He's in with the Movement's little meeting in the Daycare Center (why a sweatshop has a daycare is beyond me), and Gail reveals to us that none of these dickheads have any idea what they're doing. They just kidnapped two of Coral City's finest, proud law enforcement officers in the beautiful state of Coral City, off the street and that was as far as they planned.

I'm questioning if it's The Movement who no idea what they're doing, or if Gail just didn't think this plot line out.

>>977843

This dialogue just gets more and more cliche. I can't wait for the slang to start.

Big Tits McMetalwings fucks off to talk to the villain? He's so fucking generic that I can't even be assed to remember his name. He has the all the presence of a urinal cake.

Then the rest of them get into a fight because they need to see a witch or something.

>>977841

>metokuring

>>977848

The Movement #2 ends with the revelation that the witch they seek is named … "Rainmaker", complete with deer skin and tassels. Totally not racist at all. Does she also live in a teepee? Is her job working at her tribe's tax free casino?

You're going to want to keep Rainmaker in the back of your mind. She has a great scene later on.

Oh, and I also just noticed that nothing in Movement #2 comes close to resembling what's depicted on the cover.

>>977843

>Fruit snack?

Here we fucking go.

>>977877

>>977878

She was a Native American version of the Storm, but feistier, more opinionated, and with a bit of "I don't give a fuck" attitude with some things. Like wearing proper clothing, for example. Her superhero outfit was this throughout most of the series.

>>977887

Rainy was brutally deconstructed in the dream-story Gen13: Magical Drama Queen Roxy.

>>977789

Goddamnit.

>>977957

Where do you think the girl power episodes came from? Political correctness was an issue throughout the 90s. There were a lot of similarities to what is going on right now, but things were not as bad as today. Even down to things like Jeanne Guraffalo being 90s equivalent of Amy Schumer.

Some films and TV shows from late 90s poked fun at PC activists. Old School had scene making fun of feminist activists on campus, and if I remember correctly, South Park used to make fun of feminists and Political correctness too. MadTV, SNL Kids in the Hall, and In Living Color had skits parodying activists as well.

Am I the only old enough here to remember that shit?

>>977893

>Or the cries of the depressed, repressed or the easily impressed?

Holy shot nigga I'm crying, these dialogues are hilarious bare the fact that they appeal to me, she's just awesome, if SJWs were half as funny I would listen to everything they say.

It can't stop. We gotta keep going with this MOVEMENT.

THE MOVEMENT #3 begins with Tinwings McLargeboobs kicking the ass of a heavily armed SWAT team. Now, as far as I can remember, Jugs there doesn't have any super-powers, so unless she's secretly Batman, this doesn't make a fuck of sense. I also need to point out again that this comic makes no effort to explain why so many people in this comic hate the police.

Also, another conflict that isn't explained why the Movement is up against the Evil White Dude here. Is he going to bulldoze the community center? Sell drugs to the community? Fill the "hood" with Starbucks? I mean, what exactly does Evil White Dude do that puts him and the Movement at odds?

Anyway, everyone else gets their ass kicked by Rainmaker, a character that I did not know was pre-existing character until this thread so nicely pointed it out. I wonder if Gail asked Jim Lee to sign off on one of his characters showing up in this heap.

>>978012

All of these "street heroes" are insane. Rainmaker is going to kill them all with her "shoot first, ask questions later" policy.

Three issues in and we're finally introduced to the cornea killer everyone talks about, about to kill some homeless guy. I don't think "cornea killer" really fits his character. I'm going to call him Eyeball Eddie from now on. Eyeball Eddie likes eyeballs and can make it rain over people. He's like a murderous version of the rain-cloud that hangs over depressed people in cartoons.

Now we get some actual scenes with Vengeance Moth, Gail's possible self-insert/Oracle knock-off/cripple and the character I hate the most in this garbage dump. I know Gail wants us to think she's all sweet as sugar, but in reality she comes off as condescending, patronizing, and just as self-absorbed as the rest of these assholes.

>>978019

Officer Whitt once again brings up a good point that the Movement does not believe in the due process of law, and denies him and his fellow officer the right to consuel, the right to a speedy trial, and every other protection we as a society have created to ensure that the law is upheld in a humane and just way. Since Gail doesn't really have a rebuttal to that, we quickly move on to the fight with Rainmaker.

Speaking of Rainmaker, she's just as retarded as the rest of them. Really, she looked at fucking Ratatooie over there and thought he was working for "The Man".

>>977789

>Movement thread

>>978025

Nice of Virtue to just explain to everyone what was on the piece of paper Rainmaker slipped her. That it asked Virtue to call her and included her number. Nice of Gail to make it incredibly clear that despite saying she'd throw it away, Virtue pockets it. Gotta be subtle with all that lesbian shit after all.

The Movement #3 with Jugs jailed and Virtue basically threatening the police to hand her over or there's going to be a riot. You might think "Oh but Virtue just wants to get her team-mate back", but she's got a girl on her team who create earthquakes and a ratboy who can, apparently, tunnel underneath buildings. Virtue could just take Jugs if she wanted. Nope, this is a power play. She wants the cops to know who's boss.

Instead of us seeing Virtue as hero "taking back the streets", we instead see her as an urban terrorist. It's not going to get any better as this series progresses.

>>978012

>I wonder if Gail asked Jim Lee to sign off on one of his characters showing up in this heap.

One of Gail's earlier projects was a feminist reboot of Gen13, wherein she put trousers on the main character.

She's probably tight with Jim Lee.

Oh no, we're not done yet.

THE MOVEMENT #4 opens with a fucking riot. Why are any of them doing this, seriously?

We get Ratto's origin story. He's a rich kid that chose to live in a sewer. Still doesn't explain why he won't wear a fucking shirt.

>>978286

It’s a real bowel movement.

>>978286

Some fucking cops these are. They should've been suiting up the moment they saw a mob in front of their precinct house. Also, where's the fucking newscrews?

Just like Ratman, we now get Jugs' origin story, and Gail once again shows that she just discovered that Christianity has denominations and that Thai people live in the US. Jugs is apparently a Thai refugee whose family was taken in by a Baptist family in Minnesota. Now I know that the vast majority of Christians in Minnesota are Lutheran, in keeping with their Scandinavian ancestry. In addition, just a little research shows that Thai people usually settle on the West Coast, where there have large communities, so a Thai family going all the way to the frozen wastes of Minnesota seems unlikely.

So Jugs was a cop, but got so angry that some guy killed an immigrant girl that she followed him home and castrated him. Well, she says she didn't, but it's a pretty specific denial that I'm leaning on that she did. Anyway, if you take away the text boxes, you get an origin story of a serial killer.

Back to the action, ratboy is now surfing a wave of rats into the station and I can only imagine Gail furiously masturbating to it. It's a disgusting thought and I desperately want it out of my mind.

>>978291

Now we get earthquake chick who was corrupted by western ways, killed some people while drunk driving, and got recruited as a spy for Amanda Waller. Gail really should've had earthshaking brown girl get drunk and cause an earthquake, creating some actual powers driven reason she'd want to atone, but I guess Gail really needed to talk about drunk driving.

Anyway, back at the action, Virtue is fucking baffled why the police would call in helicopters and a tank. It's just a super-powered riot headed by urban terrorists invading a police station, actively attacking civic institutions that exist to protect the citizens of Coral City, in the gorgeous state of Coral City. I mean, talk about over-kill.

Now we get Burden's back-story. Burden is Amish, and Gail doesn't know anything about the Amish.

>>978297

This is what Gail believes the Amish are all about. Exorcisms, floggings, and staunchly against medical science.

Well, Earthquake Momma quits working for Waller four pages after it's introduced. Then Rainmaker shows up and Captain Black Dynamite slugs Officer Chinese for fucking his wife. That must really humiliating for a black man to get cucked by a china man. Maybe his wife is a reverse size queen.

The Movement collect Jugs and then Virtue has the utter gall to call Captain Black Dynamite's station house "filthy". Virtue, a character who genuinely believes the law doesn't apply to her or her friends. Christ.

>>978313

The Movement #4 ends with a the anonymoose rip-off taking off around the world and some fags that we're never going to see again.

>>978323

>Gigantic anonymous movement

>The "heroes" are a bunch of colorful asshats that destroy the whole concept

Out of all of the bullshit in the Movement, this is the turd that really gets me. You could've had some masked guys in plain clothes to fit the concept, but no, we had to have goddamn comic book superheroes.

It's the first clue that Gail Simone doesn't give a fuck about any of the "ideas" she presents in this book. Just wants to write to Birds of Prey.

Oh look what time it is. I completely forgot to torture you with more of THE MOVEMENT.

Evil businessmen meet because they're worried about The Movement and are about ready to give up Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City, all because some shit-heads filmed a cop. The Movement, such mary sues that their villains quail before them.

So Virtue and Captain Black Dynamite meet. We're supposed to be surprised that Captain Black Dynamite knows all about their webcam trial of the two officers they kidnapped, but I'm more focused on what they're eating. Fucking dipping doughnuts into milkshakes. Dipping doughnuts into milkshakes. Doughnuts I can see. Milkshakes I can see. Fucking both, together? That's something only a lard-ass like Gail would think of.

>>979003

The illegal trial begins, and the minority officer is a good boy and acknowledges the validity of this sham by entering a plea. It's the only scene in this entire series that makes me genuinely angry. Gail just has him give legitimacy to a fucking show trail that's going to kill both of them because they spooked a girl.

In these pages we learn that Officer Joe Whitt is a fucking hero who risked his own life to save a child. He earned a commendation for that, in addition to three others. He's an officer that takes his commitment to upholding the law seriously, and is even humble about it.

Fucking hell Gail. How am I supposed to like any of these Movement fags after hearing that?

>>979005

Turns out Rattigin has a crush on Earthquake Indian. I really hope she doesn't return his feelings because Rattigin probably has diseases.

Eyeball Eddie's back, and he looks like he's going to carve up some doll. I don't mean that as slang, I mean that her make-up makes her look like a doll. Meanwhile, back at the Sweatshop, Officer Whitt correctly points out to Officer Minority that The Movement is going to kill them. After all, what else are they going to do? They clearly don't have the facilities to keep them there long term, and there's no way they'll term them over to civil authorities. Officer Whitt, an upstanding officer with four commendations under his belt, causes a distraction by pushing Vengeance Moth over so that he and his partner can escape.

Unfortunately for them, Vengeance Moth is the most OP Mary Sue in this entire book.

Oh, and more of Gail's needless inserting of Christian denominations.

>>979010

So everyone flips out. Rattigan fights Eyeball Eddie and Jugs thinks murder is a good punishment for knocking someone out of their wheelchair. Thankfully, Deliciously Earth Brown Girl, who is one of the few not completely insane members of this god-forsaken team, steps in, stops Jugs, and helps the cops escape. Then she fucking quits the team because holy shit these guys are crazy stupid.

Back at the fight, Eyeball Eddie reveals that he's got friends …

>>979012

THE GRAVEYARD FACTION, who are fucking lame.

To think, this comic goes on for another seven issues.

>>979005

>In these pages we learn that Officer Joe Whitt is a fucking hero who risked his own life to save a child. He earned a commendation for that, in addition to three others. He's an officer that takes his commitment to upholding the law seriously, and is even humble about it.

>

>Fucking hell Gail. How am I supposed to like any of these Movement fags after hearing that?

May… maybe she's being more sophisticated than we give her credit for?

Normally I wouldn't entertain such theories, but this just seems too much to ignore.

THE MOVEMENT #6 opens with a bitch fight between Delicious Earth Brown Girl and Jugs. I'm wondering why this fight is even happening at all. Was Jugs really that hung up about punishing a fucking cop for wanting to see some tits? Also, why isn't Earth Brown Girl just wiping the fucking floor with Jugs? In Issue #2, Virtue says Earth Brown Girl can make your heart explode just by touching you. I know I wouldn't fucking want to mess with that kind of shit, no matter how angry I'd be.

Also, those fucking comments.

>>979214

The Green Team is not a good book. They took the idea of "teen trillionares" and went absolutely no where with it.

>>979495

Everyone, except for The Movement, is having the appropriate response to this situation: Get the fuck outta there!

In addition to all of that, Burden is losing his mind. This is the second, possibly third, maybe even fourth, mental break-down in this group. All of these assholes need serious counseling, possibly medical attention, but since they're lead by the sociopath Virtue, they're never going to get it.

>>979496

Ratto meets the GRAVEYARD FACTION, and I really want to know why they think they're superheroes. They're called the GRAVEYARD Faction, and their leader is named Agony. You'd think that sometime before they welcomed a half-naked woman wearing a creepy hood that it would've dawned on them that they're probably bad-guys.

As Ratto flips around and shit, something I'm sure makes Gail all moist in the beef flaps, Virtue thinks the best way to help burden is to subject him to an exorcism. They, like Gail, know nothing about exorcism, but they do have a copy of the HOLY BIBLE: KING JAMES EDITION. Maybe they picked it up at a Chinese bootleg church.

Meanwhile, Jugs and Deliciously Earth Brown Girl mend their broken bonds over ice-cream because Gail is a fat fuck and all she thinks about is food and rat boys.

>>979499

Last minute Virtue decides to go "Fuck it" and use her emotion powers, like she fucking forgot she had them the entire time. She pulls Burden's fear out of him and makes him a good boy, though I'm getting real tired of all the "Shut up" responses. Gail, you can't just have your characters say "Shut up" all the time to get them out of uncomfortable conversations.

Meanwhile, in the not completely insane world, it turns out Evil Generic White Guy is Eyeball Eddie's dad. It also turns out that people can just settle life-and-death struggles with ice-cream. You know, for being famous for "women in comics", Gail writes nearly all of her female characters as incredibly vapid.

>>979502

The Movement #6 ends with Ratto strung up like a Spider-Man badguy. I bet it was a really intense fight to, but we really needed to see Virtue bumble through a mock exorcism and read about bitches eating ice-cream.

I wish I could say Ratto is dead, but we just aren't that lucky.

>>977576

>This character was so ahead of its time when it was created. The stuff we're seeing in Deadpool and Harley Quinn now, Plastic Man was doing in the 1940s. It's a character that was ahead of its time back then and the stories are still funny and still relevant.

I mean, she's right. Plas was tremendously ahead of his time and he was infinitely more charming and funnier than Deadpool has ever been. The Harley Quinn makes me shiver if that's her example of a funny comic book character.

But this

>There's also this great mixture of tragedy in there, too, that I love. The humor comes from a place of pain.

To me speaks of a fundamental misunderstanding of Plastic Man.

The tragedy of the character is a very recent thing that's only been added because writers fundamentally misunderstand that Plastic Man's appeal is his roguish, absurdist quality and his lack of angst.

He was one of the first truly unique anti-heroes in comics, someone who is a hero and a crime fighter, but who doesn’t play by the rules or try and be a role model either and is clearly more interested in having fun than actually doing good.

He has far more in common with characters like Jack Knight and The Creeper.

I mean I expect Gail Simone to insert hamfisted feminist garbage in the series as she does with nearly everything.

But I'm far more concerned about what exactly does she seem to take from Plastic Man. I'm not looking forward to yet another revisionist take on a classic character stuffed with fakedeep dramatic nonsense.

>>979505

>The tragedy of the character is a very recent thing that's only been added because writers fundamentally misunderstand that Plastic Man's appeal is his roguish, absurdist quality and his lack of angst.

To be fair, Plas does have a tragic origin. However, like all good characters, it's a source of motivation and improvement, not despair and brooding.

>and is clearly more interested in having fun than actually doing good.

I disagree. The entire reason he got into the hero game is because he wants make up for his criminal past. If he didn't care about doing good, he'd still be a villain.

>>979530

It certainly didn't help matters that DC tried to spin both books as "socially conscious" rivals.

>DC Comics has been on the cutting edge of trying bold, new things for that last few years and this announcement is no exception. With these two brand new titles, DC Comics is taking the themes and issues that came to the surface with the Occupy Wall Street movement and are bringing both sides of the coin into the world of superheroes.

Note, this was back in 2013, well after OWS fizzled.

Considering how gung-ho she was about it, I feel the entire thing was Gail's idea. The Green Team was added just for advertising.

>GS: The Movement is an idea I’ve had for some time. It’s a book about power — who owns it, who uses it, who suffers from its abuse. As we increasingly move to an age where information is currency, you get these situations where a single viral video can cost a previously unassailable corporation billions, or can upset the power balance of entire governments. And because the sources of that information are so dispersed and nameless, it’s nearly impossible to shut it all down.

>GS: The previous generations of superheroes were not created to address this, it’s a legitimately new frontier, both for the real world and for storytellers. It’s an adventure story, but it really isn’t about mad scientists and jewel heists, it’s more about the injustices that can affect real people’s lives, just tarted up in costumes and superpowers.

It's funny how the Movement doesn't actually address ANY OF THIS.

>>979584

Marvel being innovative stopped after Frank Miller left. Since mid 80s, DC took far more risks with their stories, especially once Vertigo came around. Marvel never published something like Doom Patrol, Watchmen, Hellblazer, or The Killing Joke. Instead, Marvel's comics relied more on melodrama and gimmicks. Their books were successful in the short term, but today no one gives a shit about Marvel's past tittles that aren't Miller's Daredevil or a handful of even older titles.

Boy THE MOVEMENT #7 has a shit cover. You never show new, threatening villains from above.

We open up with Eyeball Eddie talking with his dad, Generic Evil White Guy, and it looks like Eddie's got a Lenny thing going on with how he calls his dad "daddy". Gail also immediately neuters both of her antagonists by making them far more human than anyone in The Movement.

Back with the crazy people, we spend a page of them trying to figure out how to cut Ratto down before Jugs remembers she has a "thing". That "thing" is a knife, a butterfly knife to be exact. Why we needed to know that Jugs had a butterfly knife is a mystery.

>>979709

Virtue heads out to check on the lifeless corpse of Ratto and leaves Vengeance Moth in charge of Burden in his post exorcism afterglow. As she offers another goddamn fruit snack, we learn through text boxes as if you couldn't already tell she was Gail's favorite that she's got muscular dystrophy and used to be a SUBSTANCE ABUSER. We got a fucking glue sniffing cripple in here! A gas-huffing gimp!

So they go to treat Ratto, which is something that is well beyond the ability of these fucking morlocks, and the Graveyard Faction is just watching them from an alley like they're Boris and Natasha. Then they have Jugs fly him to the hospital because I'm sure that won't make things worse for a disease riddled rate man who got pounded to a bloody pulp.

Oh, and we get even more text boxes from the gas-huffing gimp, and it turns out that Burden's got sex issues. He's plagued by unnatural desires. You can see where this going, can't you. Blonde boy, abused by parents, god-fearing, surrounded by crazy people. We're going to find out that Burden is a furry.

>>979648

And all of that innovation was flushed down the toilet after Didio took over and turned DC into a neckbeard soap opera with bullshit like Identity Crisis and GL: Rebirth.

>>979712

We're supposed to think that Officer Whitt's plan to fucking raid The Movement's hide-out while their guard is down is underhanded and evil, but is it? These underdwellers have clearly shown that they're a threat to themselves and others. Officer Whitt is clearly in the right on this.

Case in point, what does the gimp do when they find out they're going to be raided? She tells everyone to hide in the basement. Why? This place has been shown to have multiple exits, why not tell the civilians to evacuate? Whoever's coming is clearly there for The Movement, so there's no reason to keep the civilians there. Maybe The Movement plans to use them as hostages.

As Jugs informs emergency room staff that their patients are now going to be subject to a massive rat infestation, Gimpy offers the Graveyard Faction a fruit snack. It wasn't cute the first time, and its not cute now. Creepy hood big tits knocks her the fuck out, and one would think that you'd realize you're a bunch of villains when you order your team-mates to torture a girl.

At the hospital, Gail tries to impress everyone by having a doctor spouting a bunch of completely unimportant medical gobblity-gook. It's the sort of amateur comic writer shit I've come to expect from her. Back at the station house, Officer "I fucked my boss's wife" Yee stands up to Officer Whitt's to stop his plan to save the people of Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City, from the madmen running rampant through their streets. Why?

>>979714

Captain Black Dynamite, for no reason, shows up alone in Ratto's hospital room and just gives Virtue the file on the Graveyard faction. He also references the "shadow government", which makes me wonder if Gail is talking about the Illuminati.

Back at the hole, I might give the Graveyard Faction a lot of flak, but they have the team-work shit down. Look at them. They have true camaraderie, are quick to protect each other, and show respect to one another as equals. Contrast it to the raw insanity that is The Movement. I want a book about the Graveyard Faction trying to be good guys while being obvious bad-guys.

With Gimpy "feeling the muscular dystrophy", all the people she put in harms way by not ordering an evacuation are now at the mercy of the Graveyard Faction. So she uses the last of her strength to tell Burden the exorcism that brought him inner peace was a fucking lie and he's still got demons inside him.

What a selfish bitch.

>>979715

The Movement #7 ends with possibly the best description of The Movement. That horrific, lovecraftian abomination was once a normal kid. Then The Movement happened.

>>979713

It was gone long before Didio came on board. Once Vertigo was created and books like Swamp Thing, Doom Patrol and Sandman were consolidated into that, DC let them do the innovative stuff while they chased 90s trends. Granted, DC chasing 90s trends did result in some entertaining stuff like Young Heroes in Love, Major Bummer, and Hitman.

>>977555

Solicits out.

>PLASTIC MAN #1

>Written by GAIL SIMONE • Art by ADRIANA MELO • Cover by AARON LOPRESTI •

>Variant cover by AMANDA CONNER


>Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the order form for details.

>Meet Eel O’Brian: a petty thug, thief and con artist who runs a strip club. Hey, he’s also dead, at least according to the gang that tossed him out like last week’s garbage. Literally. Don’t worry, though—he bounced back from all that, and now he’s trying to make a new life for himself, but the effort is stretching him pretty thin. How can he get revenge on his old boss, keep a street kid out of trouble, make a dancer fall in love with him and stop a mysterious society from taking over the world? Eel has no idea!

>On sale JUNE 13 • 32 pg, FC, 1 of 6, $3.99 US • RATED T+

>Plastic Man

>Rated Teen +

WUT?

>>979743

Having separate imprints for separate demographics, all dedicated to GNs is something revolutionary as far as American comics go. This idea has potential, but I am afraid that failure of poorly written agenda books will kill most imprints before anything good has a chance to come out.

>>979744

That sounds like a clusterfuck of a story. It would not sound good even if a competent writer would be in charge of the book.

>>979760

>Having separate imprints for separate demographics, all dedicated to GNs is something revolutionary as far as American comics go.

It would be if DC actually had anything to back it up. From what I've seen, it's their same shit, just "different". You have baby Batman, Batman in high school, and Batman saying "fuck".

Remember when Vertigo started out and made obscure heroes like Sandman, Swamp Thing, Shade The Changing Man, and the Doom Patrol their own? Where is that with these new imprints? Is that too risky for DC?

>>979721

Major Bummer was pretty fun.

>>980736

>>980768

YOU'RE A DEAD MOTHER FUCKER NOW! NOW YOU FUCKED UP! YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW!

Because now I'm going let loose even more issues of this monstrosity.

THE MOVEMENT #8 continues from the whole "turn a good boy into a horrible monster because we fucked up" from the previous issue. Officer Whitt, heroic police officer in the service of Coast City, in the mineral-right state of Coast City, emotionally tries to get Officer minority to step aside. Look in his eyes, you can see how much he doesn't want to hurt another officer, but he knows just how big of a threat The Movement is. He's left with no choice but to strike his brother in blue down.

Back in the sewer The Movement lives in, we get some insight to how the members of The Movement think. First, in addition to knowing stuff that she shouldn't know, like the Graveyard faction's name, Gas-Huffing Gimp automatically assumes they're there to kill the people that she's basically imprisoning for no reason. She absolutely will not accept that the Graveyard Faction might be there because they're a bunch of insane menaces to society.

Of course, Gas-Huffing Gimp gives a slight, sociopathatic smile to her handy work, the utterly deformed Burden. The thought doesn't cross her mind that she destroyed a young man's life. He's just a tool for The Movement to use. Contrast that with the "villains", the Graveyard Faction, who desperately try to save their comrade from the clutches of the Burden-Beast, with Big Buff Black God even trying to distract him to save his friends.

The Graveyard Faction is what The Movement wishes it was. Friends to the end.

>>980807

>>980807

I want you to look at the second page here. Of course, since this is a Gail Simone book, we have to have LESBIANS, with Virtue and Rainmaker paired off as the designated carpet munchers, but this shit is fucking inappropriate. VIRTUE IS UNDERAGE. Rainmaker gets a reservation at an expensive looking restaurant, puts on a slutty skirt, brings a bouquet of roses, and buys a bottle of champagne all to seduce an underage girl.

Oh good, we get more of Gail's glue sniffing cripple, who someone is able to knock Anguish out while seated in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Captain Cuck Dynamite gets the call that Whitt is trying to do his job as an officer of the law and he's going put an end to that right now! At the precinct, the two minorities and woman stand against the scary white man who just wants to keep his fucking community safe god dammit! THERE'S NO DAMN REASON FOR THEM TO DO THIS!

>>980798

I uploaded it to the /co/ vola.

>>980810

Gail Simone learned the word Taphophobia and found a way to shoe-horn it into a comic. Ratto wakes up and gives Earth girl the creepiest pick-up line I've ever heard. Then he gives her a disease by kissing her. Gail's fetishes are just as disgusting as her fat hide.

Man, the Graveyard Faction is a good team. Too bad The Movement is going to unleash their god-mode sue powers on their asses.

>>980815

Virtue is the text-book definition of Mary Sue. She's able to get the whole Graveyard Faction to leave with her awesome god powers. Officer Whitt, the only good character in this heap, is fired for striking an officer, which means the cops are going to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about The Movement.

Christ I hate this book so much.

>>980817

The Movement #8 ends with this shit getting worse, because now we're getting Gail Simone Bat-Girl thrown in the mix.

>>980810

>Rainmaker gets a reservation

>>980869

>>980926

>>980810

>FRUIT SNACK FRUIT SNACK FRUIT SNACK

>>978291

What the absolute hell, bitch throws an tantrum about a girl she didn't even care to know and slices up a guy like a hunk of meat and Gail calls this the origin story of a hero?

>>980977

yes.

THE MOVEMENT #9 - IT'S MARY SUE VS. MARY SUE! WHO WILL WIN?

BATGIRL shows up in Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City, to pick up some super-powered asshole. Of course, since Gail is writing this, Batgirl sounds like a fucking psychopath. No questions, no demands for an explanation, just fucking beating the guy for being confused as fuck. I swear that Gail gets worse with every issue. How can she write this dialogue without cringing herself into a black hole?

Anyway, we get to what Gail really wanted to see: A naked Ratto screaming in a bathroom.

>>981172

What's there to say? Gail Simone, after years of campaigning, finally got on Batgirl for the Nu52 and it was complete trash.

>>981235

Gail makes the shower scene as loooooong as possible. Gotta get all the naked Ratboy images she can.

Batgirl meets the anonymous rip-off that tells her to leave the black light guy alone. Batgirl still sounds like a psycho, making me think it must be nice to have enough clout to basically get scripts published without editorial approval.

Ratboy and Earth Girl go on a date and it's the most fucking disgusting thing I've read in a comic in a long while. Gail really fucking does get off to dirt and filth holy fuck. The rest of the Movement is worried about the fact that they've got "their first real superhero". However, instead of being invested in the conflict, most people reading this would find both Batgirl and The Movement unlikable assholes and hope that they kill each other.

>>981256

You know, Gail, acknowledging your character sounds like a bitch doesn't do anything to solve that particular problem.

Batgirl, of course, is OP as fuck, and is able to take out Jugs in one punch. Then we've got rats and MORE FUCKING FRUIT SNACKS. THEN THEY GO OUT FOR DOUGHNUTS AND MILKSHAKES BECAUSE ALRIGHT.

Christ, this fucking book.

>>981259

It's like they're trying to outdo each other in an "unlikable asshole" contest. I can't emotionally connect to anything going on here. It's like Gail was trying to make The Movement and Batgirl so fucked up that only people just as fucked up would get them.

>>981262

The Movement #9 ends with Black Light killing two cops. I don't know if we're supposed to care about that seeing as the past 8 issues made a point of the cops being evil.

Also, The Joker's Daughter, just because I wanted to remind you all of that train wreck.

>>981235

>Anyway, we get to what Gail really wanted to see: A naked Ratto screaming in a bathroom.

>>981449

For a coal burner, I guess.

>>978297

>Spend a day wondering why I'm doing this

>why I'm subjecting others to this shit comic

>why I endure this infurating garbage

>then I remember we've got to get to the hilariously awful Issue #11

THE MOVEMENT #10 has a cover with crayon drawing tier animal motifs. I see a vampire bat and some fucking bird that doesn't exist.

Back in the incredibly dangerous pit where these insanos live, THE MOVEMENT is going to blackmail Batgirl into doing whatever they want by taking photos of her secret identity. You know, shit villains do because The Movement is a bunch of crazy people who aid and abet murder suspects and take over police stations. However, Batgirl starts to wake up and gets PTSD flashbacks to the fucking cluster-fuck Nu52 continuity was. Really, Barbera was Batgirl, crippled, became Oracle, healed, and became Batgirl again in the span of a couple years in book.

However, that's nothing compared to Nu52 Batman, who managed to burn through five Robins in the span of three to four years.

>>981903

Batgirl promptly beats the ever-loving shit out of The Movement. Normally, I'd be completely on board for any form of assault that meets these assholes, but Batgirl isn't fighting them for just reasons. She's fighting them because she's flipping the fuck out and her response to get triggered is to savage everyone in sight. In fact, it gets worse because it's clear that when she's in this state, she actively looks for people to beat up. Batgirl is a fucking sociopath.

Of course, Gail just fucking glaze over this and now The Movement and Batgirl are friends again. Batgirl doesn't even apologize for brutalizing and The Movement sure as hell doesn't apologize for knocking her out and trying to blackmail her.

When I said that Batgirl beats the shit out of The Movement, I should've clarified that she beats the shit out of everyone in The Movement except Jugs. Jugs is off looking for black light negro, because Gail wants her to fuck a guy she just met.

>>981906

Alright, it's our pals THE GRAVEYARD FACTION! Are they regrouping for a counter….oh…I see. They're officially out of the book now. Don't think Gail really understands the whole "superhero" genre.

Back in the hole, we get girl talk that basically amounts to "Fuck you, thems the breaks". They tell us nothing we already don't know and serves only to make them look even more like unlikable assholes. Oh, and fucking Deliciously Brown Earth Girl is asexual. It has no bearing on anything, but if it's what's keeping her from become as insane as the rest of The Movement, then more power to her.

Cut to rooftop where Jugs just fucked some nigger she didn't know and we get some of the worst post-coitus dialog I've ever read.

>Are … Are you a goddess?

>The wings and all.

>You make love like a goddess.

Reminder that Gail Simone is the representative of women in comics and has legions of fans.

>>981909

Apparently that nigger's got a dick full of magic, because Jugs immediately wants to run away with him and protect him from Batgirl. Seriously, forget the light powers, he's menace so long as he's got that penis!

As they try to escape, they meet The Movement and Batgirl, and for some fucking reason, Virtue disagrees with Jugs spiriting Wonder Willy away. Virtue, the same woman that was willing to black-mail a superhero to get her own way and had absolutely no problem helping a murder suspect escape. What the fucking fuck?

Jugs, forced to face the crimes that Wonder Willy committed, decides the best option is to RITUALISTICALLY CUT HIS HEAD OFF.

>>981915

The Movement #10 ends with Batgirl saving Magic Dick's life, but then fucking leaving him in Coral City. Did Batgirl forget that Magic Dick is wanted for murder? Multiple murders? Where's the fucking JUSTICE? She lets a murderer walk free for no good reason.

I've brought this up before, but after reading this comic multiple times, I've come to genuinely think Gail has no fucking idea how superheroes work. It's as if she thinks she's writing a costumed version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with absolutely no regard for what the genre is about. Gail Simone's entire career has to be a fluke, because I cannot believe that this author has wrote anything, of any value, ever

>>981915

>Seriously, forget the light powers, he's menace so long as he's got that penis!

I got just the stuff to stop him!

>>982018

>The Movement is a third world dictatorship enforced by psychopathically ruthless yet goddamn incompetent superpowered thugs.

I don't think this is the Occupy allegory Gail was aiming for, but I'll take it.

>>981909

>Oh, and fucking Deliciously Brown Earth Girl is asexual.

To be honest, I'd say I was asexual too if a rat wanted to fuck me.

>>982026

Finally, my time is now!

Oh boy, it's Amish time.

THE MOVEMENT #11 is, in my opinion, the zenith of this series. The issue where Gail is her absolute worst, her most cliche, which makes it the best for us. It's a monument to her ineptitude.

Our story begins with the son of the quaker oats guy arriving in Coral City, in the diverse and beautiful state of Coral City. This guy, with his buckle shoes and knee-breeches, is supposed to be Amish, so you know we're in for a treat.

As a bonus, we get a lesbian kiss between an older woman and an underage child. It wouldn't be a Gail Simone book without needless advertising of a character's sexuality.

>>982215

So Jacob finds his brother, Burden, and smacks the shit out of Jugs for getting in his way. After-all, when I think of ass-kicking, I think of a traditionalist church fellowship committed to nonresistance and pacifism.

Apparently Burden needs to face a trail for killing his father, though why this matter wasn't brought to the attention of the authorities is baffling. Virtue, being the god-mode sue she is, is able to track them because Burden was scared and Jake was made of pure hate or something.

On page 10, Freddie gets the memo that these people are supposed to be Amish. I don't blame him, Gail probably left that bit out until this issue.

>>982216

What follows is the most bizarre interpretation of Christianity that I've ever seen. They chain Burden to a cross and prepare to burn him with irons, and we get the fucking crazy story of how Jacob killed their father and framed Burden for the crime.

The whole thing is so shallow and weird that it's amazing it got through editorial without anyone saying "wait….what?"

>>982217

So The Movement gets involved, and Virtue knows Jacob was lying about the whole thing because she's Virtue.

If you don't believe me that Gail is possibly the most surface level bitch writing comics today, read the dialogue between Jacob and Burden as they fight. It's like it was written by a high-school freshmen who just discovered Hot Topic.

>>982218

The Movement #11 ends with Burden telling everyone he's gay. It's the best scene in the entire series because it's the stupidest.

There's lacking self-awareness, then there's Gail Simone.

THE MOVEMENT #12 is the final issue of this mess. DC apparently wised up that this was a bunch of garbage, so Gail quickly shoved all of her wishes and dreams for The Movement into a single issue. Dreams like having them team up with the Justice League, because nothing says "fighting the establishment" quite like being a part of it.

We also get some long awaited back-story on Virtue. Apparently emotion powers run in her family, and her great grandmother was burned for it. Since witch burning wasn't a thing in 1910 - 1920 times, I'm assuming she means her great grandmother spontaneously combusted after falling asleep with a lit cigarette.

>>982935

So The Movement hooked ratto up with Gail herself some chubby bitch from a pet shop. Christ she's ugly. Gas-Huffing Gimp promises to find a nice boy for Burden, and thank god we never get to see that.

Their arch-nemesis, Generic Evil White Man comes to The Movement for help. He wants them to stop his son, Eyeball Eddie, from killing again. You know, it's the plot that this book started with before getting distracted by Batgirl and the "Amish".

>>982938

We get a little more backstory about how Virtue was a lesbian since the age of six and nearly killed her father over it. Gotta start em' young, eh Gail?

Generic Evil White Man and Eyeball Eddie share an emotional moment that makes me realize they're probably the most emotionally deep characters in this garbage. Too bad it's immediately undone by The Movement showing up. Generic Evil White Man immediately regrets asking The Movement's help, because it turns out they're even more insane than his son who gouges the eyes out of people.

>>982943

Officer Whitt is back to uphold the law that has abandoned Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City. He takes down Eyeball Eddie with a shot from his rifle. Though The Movement will claim victory, the real hero is Officer Whitt, the only character in this entire thing to stay true to his principles and his loyalty to civic order.

The Movement #12 ends with Virtue claiming that soon, the Justice League will have change to fit in with the insanity of The Movement. Thankfully, that never comes to pass, as this series is over.

Thanks for enduring it and I hope this gives you all an idea of what exactly Gail is probably going to do with Plastic Man.

>>982935

We must mine this comic for its precious reaction images.

>>983008

Yes, but no. Tremor first appeared in Gail Simone's Secret Six, Issue #25. She worked for The Secret Six, so I think after the Nu52 hit she tried to continue the whole "she works for a shadowy organization" thing by including it for two pages.

It's part of the general clusterfuck that was Nu52 continuity.

>>983010

You are a brave anon

>>977632

>>977617

Who fuckin knows,man.

On the other side, I am looking forward to more giantess. I'm betting Plas will turn tiny.

>>977566

>that pic

#1 PREVIEW

This miniseries will be storytimed in the /dcrg/.

End.

>>977566