YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
No.955600
There's something very unnerving about this
comments are disabled, too
No.955606
He looks less creepy than the actual Elf on the Shelf. They really should revamp him to look less… You know.
Anyway, are you not American, anon? It sounds like you just don't know what the Elf on the Shelf is.
No.955609
>>955606
they don't even have pointed ears
>>955607
yep, it's a creepy ass thing. they've been using that exact same doll without alterations for years now.
I'm in north america and vaguely familiar with it, but I don't know anyone around here that considers it a "Tradition"
This seems desperate. Although it is animated better than that crappy special they did in 2011
No.955637
>>955610
where can I see a qt ratgirl?
No.955661
No.955664
No.955670
Wait, I recognize that elf. My sister and his husband use it to make my nieces believe he is alive and a Santa Claus' helper, making pictures of him doing some antics.
Don't tell me that is the new trend on stupid modern parents?
No.955673
>>955664
There's Biohazard, but I think he only draws gay rat porn.
No.955676
>>955670
It is an old ""tradition"" that has became popular ""again"" in recent years. I personally never heard of the damn thing until I read an article on how it was "inadvertently" prepping kids to live in a surveillance state. (http://archive.is/Q9Nn6)
Kind of odd how it has grown in popularity since then…
No.955677
>>955606
I'm American and I don't know what it is.
No.955687
You're just remembering that the damn elf always saw you jacking off and was most likely making a song about it
No.955698
>>955609
>they don't even have pointed ears
Well, there's elves according to Tolkien, and then there are old school elves from folklore who basically developed into dwarves, gnomes and halflings in modern fantasy.
>>955637
Ink-Eyes has a bit of art. Although she's maybe not exactly "cute".
No.955763
>>955673
>Biohazard
Gee, you must be really old.
No.955770
>>955670
>My sister and his husband
???
No.955776
>>955770
Sorry, I meant her husband. I'm foreign and english is not my first language.
No.955791
>>955698
I personally prefer when animal-grills are drawn more animal like than human.
>>955782
Hey reddit.
No.955799
No.955855
>vols actually getting rid of boogeyman retard's posts for once
Fucking finally.
sage for nothing to add to the thread
No.955916
>>955677
This, I've never heard of this thing until that fucking dobson comic, and even then I didn't understand what it was.
No.955929
>>955916
No one cares what you think.
No.955932
>>955916
>that fucking dobson comic
Uh, so that's what it was referencing, then.
No.955992
>>955606
That thing looks like prime horror film/game material.
No.956021
>>955879
NO TANGENTS ALLOWED YOU BETTER STOP OR I'LL KEEP ACCUSING YOU OF BEING FROM TEEEEVEEEEEE
Cry harder you impotent little cuck.
No.956022
No.956082
>>956019
The bottom pic makes her look like Caitlyn Jenner.
No.956092
No.956319
No.956321
>>955698
where do the "really 9000 years old" loli elves come from?
also that ratgirl seems cute enough, at least with the mask on. I agree with the other anon, hate those lazy drawings that just slap on an ear and a tail.
No.956322
>>955687
Implying I didn't carve a hole in this elf and use it as a cocksleeve
No.956482
>>956321
>where do the "really 9000 years old" loli elves come from?
I'd guess that specific portrayal is mostly Japanese. But they probably got it from Dungeons and Dragons, who got their elves from Tolkien, which he got from German romanticists, who got their inspiration from Shakespeare (midsummer nights's dream), who got it from Scottish and Scandinavian folklore, who got it from Germanic mythology and folklore.
Elves (AKA fairies, fair folk, seelie, unseelie, huldra, ellefolk, alfar), are an old meme. Apparently, the original name, ɑlβi-z, literally meant "white people," either because they were so good and/or beautiful.
Then again, I'm getting this from wikipedia, so take it with a grain of salt.
No.956626
>>956482
christmas elves are confusing as fuck though
No.956632
>>956626
Nonsense! They're the small ones. The big ones go on the slaughterhooks and sent towards the butcher, and the small ones go straight into the meat chopper.
The ones that we've conclusively tested are female though go on to become cocksleeves regardless of size.
No.956635
No.956636
>>956635
Damn Straight. And proud of it too!
No.956637
>>956626
"They were first introduced in literature by Louisa May Alcott [USA] in 1856. […] The association of Christmas presents with elves has precedents in the first half of the 19th century with the Tomte in Sweden and Nisse in Denmark, and St Nicholas himself is called an elf in A Visit from St. Nicholas (1823) [by a US writer]".
"The nisse/tomte is an echo of ancient ancestral cult. He was sometimes seen as the farmer who cleared the forest to build the farm and who in pre-Christian times would have been buried on the farm in a mound."
"Nisse may be derived from Norse niðsi, meaning "dear little relative" or from the Germanic water-sprite nixie.[2]"
TLDR: Christmas Elves are not actually related to the proper Elvish folklore, but have instead taken on elvish traits in a kind of bastardising cultural osmosis.
Thanks, America!
No.956881
>>956632
>>956637
no explain why they always fluctuate between looking like fairies, children, short humans or dwarves
No.956891
>>956881
Quite simple, really. Elves are highly magical creatures, but the magic varies from dimension to dimension, so their appearance is changed to better accommodate the natural magical order of things. They're all the same species across different dimensions.
No.956898
>>956881
Because normalfags don't care about the centuries of folklore that is part of their ancestral heritage. Because the people producing the movies, books and figures of Christmas elves just take whatever they saw on the tele, water it down according to focus group studies, throw it into the Santa "mythos" in the cheapest and quickest way they can and then call it a day.
No.956974
>>956881
Elves and fairies started as gods in the distant past, then got blended with deified ancestors. Later, when the people with those beliefs were conquered and assimilated into a new population, their ancestor-gods were gradually displaced, becoming first alien, then diminutive as they shrank from veneration and memory.
No.956985
>>956626
>>956632
Christmas Elves are Gnomes
No.956987
>>956898
>Because the people producing the movies, books and figures of Christmas elves just take whatever they saw on the tele, water it down according to focus group studies, throw it into the Santa "mythos" in the cheapest and quickest way they can and then call it a day.
Because the (((people))) producing the movies, books and figures of Christmas elves just take whatever stereotypes they gleaned from other students during their education (the last time they interacted with anyone who actually believed these things), water it down according to focus group studies, throw it into the Santa "mythos" in the cheapest and quickest way they can and then call it a day.
No.956991
>>956881
It's a regional thing.
No.957000
No.957004
>>956881
Because they are not real and people draw / write whatever they feel like. You don't need to apply for a license from the United IP Consistency Association to have make-believe creatures.
No.957020
>>956881
Elves, fairies, dwarves, etc. were all basically the same thing at one point.
No.957033
>>956637
>>956482
>>956898
>avatarfagging
Anon, you write interesting posts but you're kind of a faggot.
No.957037
Shadelf when?
Elf with a shelf?
No.957041
>>957037
>Shadelf
I dread what horrors await us in a timeline where Shadman took it upon himself to draw Elf on the Shelf porn.
No.957047
>>957041
His slutty Link was pretty amazing.
No.957061
>>957033
Only been doing it this thread because I think Adolf would like the subject. But I'll make a new years resolution to such fewer cocks.
No.957145
>>956881
The children looking elves are the weirdest.
There's something sinister about a child-like workforce being forced by a fat old man to make toys all year round for other snot-nosed, bratty children, no?
No.957151
>>956985
>Gnomes
citation needed
No.957152
>>957004
yeah, but you should expect some sort of consistency from something that is told to children as real for many years,
I mean that would be as crazy as having a black santa claus… wait
No.957153
No.957154
>>957047
Lies, shadman can't draw dicks to save his life
No.957162
>>957153
I'm not going to spoonfeed you, faggot.
No.957170
>>957154
He draws better dicks than Gideon "Tubecock" Hoss.
What kind of furry doesn't know how sheathes work?
No.957182
>>957170
He also probably draws better dicks than cwc, that doesn't make his good.
No.957200
>>957182
Well, God Damn It, who draws the best dicks?
No.957207
>>957200
In all likelihood, probably InCase. Their futashit is usually top-tier.
No.957337
A holiday tradition because he said so
No.957358
>>957207
>sameface
>samebody
>samecock
>good
"no"
No.957359
>>957170
shadman's human dicks look wrong, and like incase, he always draws them looking the exact fucking same
No.957360
>>957162
you're no authority on magic beings, that's why.s
charlatan.
fraud.
fake.
No.957368
>>957360
>authority on magical beings
I remember you being a faggot in the cat-elf thing thread, using almost identical terms.
No.957393
>>957200
Kevin J. Taylor draws some great dicks.
No.957400
No.957664
>>956881
One race, the elven race
>>957358
Better than Shadman
No.957915
>>957664
*faerie race or fae race
you ignoramus
and everyone is better than shadman
No.957916
>>957368
>I remember you in the cat-elf thing thread using identical terms
what was this now?
No.958861
>>958099
Christ he looks like the faggot who played Light in the death note netflix movie in the second picture.
No.958904
No.958937
>>955606
>watching you masturbate
No.958970
>>955687
I want to fuck the elf. Bad.
No.959148
>>955637
look no further than Freya Crescent
there's some good porn out there lad
No.959432
>>959148
>there's some good porn out there lad
post some pls
No.959433
>>958970
that elf is male anon
No.959443
if (((they))) insist on pushing this "tradition" every year now, why did they make the doll so damn creepy?
too lazy to update the design? change it to look more like the christmas tree ornaments, which are actually cute
No.959444
>>955600
why does a little cute elf have the voice of a 20-something chad
No.959468
No.959597
>>959468
>elves don't have genders
What did he mean by this?
No.959604
>>959597
He means you can't fucking tell.
Even if you're an elf.
No.959624
>>959604
I wanna fuck that elf
No.959648
>>959604
bullshit, christmas elves aren't the same as regular elves.
>pic related
No.959661
>>959648
You still have to tap it to find out.
No.959666
>>959604
>>959624
>Order of the Cuck
Kill yourselves.
No.959685
No.959776
>>959661
how? these particular elves are about as big as, well, a doll.
No.959778
No.960138
I want to fuck some cocksleeve christmas elves
No.960431