/abdl/ - Adult Baby - Diaper Lover★

I really hated the obsession for a while, but it gradually fell away from being an obsession and gradually I grew to accept it. I've found happiness as the little in a DDlg relationship so I think this is okay.

Probably it happened because I had younger siblings and they were troublemakers while my halo never had a crook, so I was kinda neglected or whatever. Obviously I was bitter about that for a while, but I'm old now and moved out and an adult so that's behind me.

I don't blame my parents, being a single mum makes it hard to raise 3 kids and stuff, but I'm not thankful lol

I do like being an ABDL, but it comes with a lot of challenges relationship wise. I'm not sure if I would change this aspect of myself or not. It's still something I'm trying to work out how I feel about. Maybe at some point in the future I'd say no because I'm just comfortable with it.

As for the children thing. No. I wouldn't want my kids to have fetishes. Now, to be fair, I do think that there's a lot of joys and experiences with this fetish that I am convinced we can feel and normal people can't, but I would never wish it on my kids. It just complicates things too much. Maybe, some point in the future it really won't matter if you have personal desires like this, but the way the world works right now? i'd say no.

If I could switch it off, of course I would. Makes finding a fulfilling relationship incredibly difficult and diapers are expensive. I've come to terms with who I am, but if give the option to wake up tomorrow with zero interest in diapers, it's a no brainer to me, of course I would. It would make life much easier.

this fetish isnt helpful and it can become toxic if not contained properly, it will leak no pun intended into your normal life and it will start to try and control your adult life decisions based on simple arousal and feelings of self-comfort/fake happiness, you should not base your whole search for a partner in the fact that he/she can deal with your fucked up fetish desires, you should look for a trust-worthy companion who shares your common goals and have real feelings for, build a life together, look for happiness as a couple, form a family even if you don't have kids, just, get a pet if you start thinking "oh, but she's not into changing my shitty diapers and letting me call her mommy I cant be with her'' then that's when this fetish starts influencing your life negatively.

Accept yourself as who you are, and be proud of it, but you have no right to rub it in other people's faces or DEMAND that they accept your messed up fantasies… because that's what all of this comes down to, you have a sexual fetish and wether you admit it or not, a fetish is rooted in sex, and sex is something to keep to yourself and your partner inside doors.

>>41006

While I agree that this fetish/lifestyle can certainly negatively influence important aspects of a healthy life, I don't think one can't come to terms with it and reduce the negative influence to a minimum.

Building a life together means looking out for both partners' needs, and if my needs are a bit more weird than hers, that doesn't change the fact that they need some sort of outlet. Hiding/suppressing these fantasies all the time is certainly not what you need to do if you don't want to negatively influence your well-being.

My partner is not into ABDL, but I don't have to suppress childish acts or silly word games when interacting with her, that's how I am and that's the person she is in a relationship with. And while diapers are certainly not her favorite underwear, me wearing them to bed (we don't have children yet) or around the house are acceptable to her, and sometimes they are part of sexual play or just intimate cuddling (diaper changes do set the right tone for non-sexual intimacy IMO)

>a fetish is rooted in sex, and sex is something to keep to yourself and your partner inside doors.

Intimacy isn't something that needs to be kept inside doors. Cuddling, kissing, or just being affectionate in some other way is totally OK when in a park, waiting for the bus, or going on a vacation. I don't want to see people having sex in front of me, but I don't care if they have a remote controlled vibrator as long as they don't actively try to involve me in their play somehow, without asking first. Similarly, don't involve people in baby play or show off your diapers to strangers, just wear them discretely and try to keep a few meters of distance to other people when you think that you absolutely have to get your diaper checked (discretely) in public.

While my partner isn't into diapers at all, don't think that this isn't some sort of compromise. Being in a relationship with another human always results in compromises, so if them not liking baby play is a deal breaker, look on.

I really love my partner, though, so for me, getting her to accept this side of me was very important, but I also know that she'll never "get" this side of me 100%, and that's OK.

There's no big compromises in many different aspects of our relationship, and I'm probably not able to fulfill her every wish, either, but we do pretty well together. So well, in fact, that I can't imagine another person doing it half as good (or me alone getting anywhere close, for that matter).

>>40975 (OP)

I would not wish this fetish onto my children. If this is an RPG and my children have to get some kind of negative attribute, it might not be the worst one, though.

I kind of like, and I kind of hate this fetish. Learned to deal with it, met some great people, so I'd say I mostly like it now. There's different aspects of my personality that I dislike way more than ABDL.

>>41040

I agree with you. For me, it's not up for compromise. I'd rather be alone then have a partner that is grossed out by me, or worse, feels obligated to fulfill my needs. Infantilism is ingrained into me so not accepting the 'fetish' is like rejected me as a person. That's how I feel about it anyway.

My mother neglected me and had my older sibling take on the role of mommy. Years later, my mom tried to make up for it by babying me (giving me bottles, diapers… she had an excuse to give me diapers because I was a bedwetter but they were babyish.)

In a way, I appreciate having the ability to feel what this fetish allows me to feel. There are times when it's incredibly pleasurable. I just wish that it didn't make dating so much harder. One can find oneself avoiding meeting some people knowing that down the line you'd have to tell them about your fetish… then you have to hold onto your butt for the aftermath.

I don't blame my mom. She had her own problems.

>Do you like being an ABDL,

I don't mind it and I have accepted it. I wouldn't change it if I had the option.

>would you like your son or daughter to become an ABDL?

No I would not. This is a rare fetish and still not accepted by society and I would not wish this on my kids. I cannot imagine having a kid that also likes diapers because I can't imagine the challenge and them possibly stealing them and the fear of being found out in school or by their friends. It is a bonus when one of the parents is ABDL because it would make it easier for the child but I would not want to buy any extra diapers. If they turn out to be into it too, I would support it and let them wear them just as long as they were buying them with their own money or washing their own diapers.

>>41006

Mic drop

You fucking nailed it, bro

>>40975 (OP)

I hate that I have this fetish. It's not that I'm necessarily ashamed of it… it's just really goddamn inconvenient

>>41042

Sometimes I wish my parents had indulged my diaper fetish. Other times I'm really really glad they don't know, but there's a big part of me that's jealous as fuck of anyone that got diapers from (or diapered by) their parents

>>44551

Fair enough. It would be way more simple to just like things that normies like, such as naked women with big boobs getting fucked.

I mean, I wouldn't say that I "hate" (because women wearing diapers and acting like babies are soooo cute XD), but I agree with your point about this being inconvenient - and it's inconvenient especially because the way of how society see this nowadays, I think.

If we live in a society that accepts ABDL, and in which this is not a taboo, and in which a good part of people are into this… I think things would be simpler .

It would be less inconvenient.

>>44552

> Sometimes I wish my parents had indulged my diaper fetish.

Not trying to meddle in your life, but… have you ever asked them this? I mean, is this a thing?

Like, ABDL teens with diaper fetish having their fetish, as you put it, "indulged" by their parents?

> jealous as fuck of anyone that got diapers from (or diapered by) their parents

I heard about this in ABDL erotic stories, but… I don't know any case of this actually happening.

I don't imagine this happening with me, especially because of the relation that I had/have with my mom (not saying that I have a bad relation with her or anything like), but… maybe if we are closer and more open to each other.

>>40975 (OP)

When I stop and really think about it having a diaper fetish is a complete negative.

Pros: Earth shattering orgasms, easier to be lazy and simpler than piss bottles

Cons: An expensive fetish to indulge, will ruin your life if it gets out, completely reduces the amount of potential partners as most will be too disgusted with you, you get lumped in with autistic dudes, and it's an easy thing to get obsessive about. In my case I'm more turned on by diapers than the human body so I am fucked.

I wouldn't wish a diaper fetish upon anyone. I wish people weren't pussies when it came to being truthful about sexuality so we could finally find a way to get rid of fetishes. I didn't ask for this, so why should I have to be stuck with it and "learn to accept it?" I'd kill to be a normie that can fap to tits all day long.

>>44565

100% this.

>I didn't ask for this so why should I have to be stuck with it and "learn to accept it?"

Literally my mindset all the time.

I thoroughly enjoy the feelings of diapering up and it's a super internal conflict because I don't want to but my brain doesn't agree with my libido and that's insanely frustrating.

>>44565

Shit man, it's like I wrote this myself. That's exactly how I feel about it.

>Expensive fetish to indulge

No joke

>Will ruin your life it it gets out

At best, you'll just get labeled a freak by the majority of your peers/classmates/coworkers/friends and even family. At worst, people will assume you're a pedophile.

>Completely reduces the amount of potential partners as most will be too disgusted with you

The sense of isolation and "marginalization" (I hate that word) is what makes this fetish the worst. I've told a couple of people, and they mostly responded well (one girl even told me she'd "totally strap on a diaper and fuck you" - her words, referring to me, of course), but the average person is way too vanilla to wrap their head around the idea of wearing and using a diaper. The idea is so revolting to a normal person that they couldn't even begin to conceptualize it as sexual.

Yeah, it's real fucking great popping boners at the thought of girls shitting themselves. Being unique is just the best.

>You get lumped in with autistic dudes

As I'm sitting here in a wet M4, it's not hard for me to understand why someone would make that comparison. Fuck, if I saw me, I'd call me autistic. This really is a bullshit fetish.

>It's an easy thing to get obsessive about

Especially with the plethora of easily accessible porn. We're already socially isolated to some degree (whether overtly or covertly), so it's not hard for us to further isolate ourselves to indulge our fetish. It's not healthy. Unfortunately, it's a compulsion for me… but I'll get back to that in a minute.

>In my case I'm more turned on by diapers than the human body so I am fucked

The more time I spend immersing myself in the fetish, the less appealing vanilla sex is. I find myself craving a baby girl, and an almost purely dom/sub relationship. Thanks to the internet and porn, I can only relate relationships to sex, so the best I'll probably be able to do is find some degenerate nympho with her own bucket full of fucked up fetishes.

>I wish people weren't pussies when it came to being truthful about sexuality so we could finally find a way to get rid of fetishes

>so we could finally find a way to get rid of fetishes

QFT

We have to get rid of porn first. The reason fetishes have become so powerful is because we've started treating them like they're something healthy to over-indulge. Because if it makes you feel good and doesn't harm anyone else, it can't be bad, right?

>I didn't ask for this

>So why should I have to be stuck with it

I really hate playing the victim card, and I lose respect for myself when I do, but this is something I really wish I could get across to the vanilla folk. I didn't choose this. This was forced on me. I can't think of a single point in my life where I would NOT have gotten rid of it if I were given the opportunity. I would turn myself vanilla as fuck if I could. This fetish just unnecessarily complicates my life, and the fact that it's a compulsion (something so ingrained in me that the urges only get stronger the more I fight it) that I HAVE to indulge makes it that much worse.

It's damn near soul crushing to think that I'll never be able to get rid of this. It will forever be a part of me, and I'll forever be a freak for something that I have no control over.

Again, I hate playing the victim card… but vanilla folk have it easier than they realize. Fetishes like this are secrets so huge that it creates double lives. That's a heavy burden.

Is it possible that it only becomes an obsession because you were deprived of it when you were a child?

>>44597

Yeah, I can see that at least contributing to it. I'm no psychologist (not that I put much faith in mainstream psychology), but it seems likely that most legitimate fetishes (not kinks) are born from strong experiences during the formative years. Looking back on my early childhood, I can remember a few instances that likely created my diaper fetish, or at least contributed substantially to it.

When I was somewhere around 5 years old (all of my memories before 18 are a little hazy), I had a step-sister that had the baby dolls that come with "pretend" diapers. She and I would go up into the attic and wet the diapers (in separate corners - there was no inappropriate contact between us). Again, my memories of my early childhood are hazy so I can't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure these experiences spawned my diaper fetish. I will say this, though: there was nothing "pretend" about those diapers XD

I also vividly remember asking my mom to put me back into diapers on a few separate occasions. It was around the same time that my step-sister and I were playing with her diapers (but my mom didn't know about this, as my step-sister was the daughter of my father's new wife), so I'm going to step out on a limb and say both memories were directly related.

Anyways, I remember asking my mom to diaper me and she [understandably] refused. I was apparently toilet trained pretty early, which I've heard people say can contribute to the development of a diaper/regression fetish. I've also never had any issues with bedwetting (seriously can't think of a single instance, though I'm sure there were a few in my very early adolescence), so there was no justification for putting me back into diapers. I remember even faking wetting accidents during the day, but it never accomplished anything. I just "waited too long".

Once I hit puberty, I realized that my interest in diapers was NOT normal and was definitely something I needed to keep to myself. I also realized that I should be very thankful my parents did not put me back in diapers. God only knows how fucked up I'd be now if they had.

>>44599

how early? Some have said they were potty trained between 2.5 and 3 and say thats too early. All the kids in my house were potty trained before two and a half, and I'm the only AB out of seventeen siblings and cousins. Is it just that we thought it was too early when we were little and haven't seen otherwise? I sure as hell felt that way when I was two.

there was a period of time where I would definitely have said yes to getting it out of my head

I've accepted it at this point

>>44615

You won't get that from me. Self-acceptance can co-exist with wanting things to be different, especially for such a cumbersome fetish. In a case of an amputee, they can accept the missing limb, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't want it back, given the chance. People who don't understand this strike me as amateurs at self-acceptance, and are doing more harm than good.

I can't speak for the strictly DL, but the AB fetish is largely situational, therefore based on experiences, which vary substantially. There might not even be one particular cause, but rather a few key ingredients needed to spark the desires in a kid. It's also tough digging at the cause because of the autism you mention, and that the situations revolving around it are fetishized and likely polluted by fantasy.

I have a few memories from being two involving diapers, either wanting or wearing, along with my mom gifting me training pants. I know how those memories felt, but what I was thinking at the time I'll likely never know without my brain making up the answers. All I know is that I liked potty training right up until my training pants were taken away. that's about the least autistic I can get saying something that might give you or someone else some insights on this fetish.

It might not have a singular cause, but that doesn't mean you can't find the answer about your own fetish. If you think it might help you, I'll share the few memories I have from toddlerhood. Best of luck either way. If you ever find the answer, please share your findings.

>>44651

>Self-acceptance can co-exist with wanting things to be different, especially for such a cumbersome fetish

You're absolutely right. Self-acceptance is simply the product of honestly acknowledging the reality of something within yourself. It doesn't mean that you like it, you just aren't lying to yourself about it. You have to accept yourself for who you are, and forgive yourself for it, if you want to change it. Denial only locks you further in, and wrecks havoc your psyche by exacerbating cognitive dissonance and internal conflict.

Again, I'm not ashamed of it because I didn't ask for it, and I don't owe anyone an explanation or an apology for it. I don't consider it a fault, just a burden. I accept that it's a part of me, and I accept that I'll likely be unable to change it given my age. The compulsive nature of the fetish suggests that it's far too deeply embedded in me, as it was directly bonded with my transition through puberty and the development of sexual impulses. What I can do, however, is regulate how I respond to it and perhaps try to find "healthier" means of satiating the compulsions.

>In a case of an amputee, they can accept the missing limb, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't want it back, given the chance

Perfect analogy.

>People who don't understand this strike me as amateurs at self-acceptance, and are doing more harm than good

Yeah, I don't see a whole lot of genuine self-acceptance. What I see is a lot of maladaptive coping mechanisms and blind overindulgence (under the guise of "self-acceptance") as a means of compensating from internal distress and insecurity caused by this fetish.

Obviously this isn't true for all of us, but it's hard to deny that most of us are broken and maladjusted in some way (a lot of ways for some of us). The prevalence of various mental illnesses (as well as genuine autism-spectrum disorders) is statistically significant, but it's hard to determine if there's a cause/effect relationship between mental illness and the fetish, or if it's just coincidental comorbidity. If there is a cause/effect relationship, is it the burden of the fetish that's creating (or exacerbating) the mental illnesses, or is the fetish itself a mental illness (or at least a byproduct of mental illness)?

It's honestly quite fascinating, but I would much rather be on the outside looking in.

>It's also tough digging at the cause because of the autism you mention

I wonder if autism-spectrum disorders are really as common amongst our community as they seem, or if it's just the autists that make the most noise. I hope it's the latter. The autists have ruined our image, and they're what people think of when they think of the fetish (cough, deeker). I would be devastated if someone associated that mental image with me and my manifestation of the fetish. I keep telling myself that my acknowledgment of the fucked-up nature of our fetish makes me better than the autists, but at the end of the day I'm still just a grown man beating off to videos of adult women shitting in diapers.

I really need to cut the porn out, as I'm sure removing pornographic reinforcement of the fetish would reduce the intensity of the compulsions. Unfortunately, I don't think it'd entirely remove them, but it'd be nice to eliminate some of the urge to indulge.

>I know how those memories felt, but what I was thinking at the time I'll likely never know without my brain making up the answers

This is the other big issue. My memories of my childhood are few and far between, and the memories I do have are hazy. I can't be sure if I'm remembering a lot of those things correctly (though I know my memory of using baby-doll diapers with a step-sister is pretty damn close to perfect), and I can't trust myself to not subconsciously fill in the gaps and lead myself astray.

>If you think it might help you, I'll share the few memories I have from toddlerhood

Yeah, I'd definitely be interested in hearing those if you don't mind sharing

>If you ever find the answer, please share you findings

Absolutely, my friend. I know there are a lot of us that aren't quite content with just "self-acceptance". Some of us just want to know what it feels like to be "normal".

>>44615

>abuse or semi abuse

I think neglect or cold parenting would account for some. My mom is neurotic and would scold me excessively over nothing

>>44661

Yes, I'd say emotional or physical parental neglect is probably a consistent factor. In my case, I had a somewhat overbearing (but also somewhat inattentive) mother and an emotionally distant and overly critical step-father. My biological father is a narcissist that came in and out of my life at his convenience, before leaving for good during high school. By middle school, I had lost count of how many step-siblings I had throughout his many marriages. By high school, I had lost most of my ability to bond with people. By the time I dropped out of college, I had lost my desire to.

It took me a few years to recognize it as an attachment disorder, but it was never a mystery as to why I am this way. Not to say that I'm still entirely like that; with age comes understanding, and perspectives change. But it does feel like there will always be that impassable divide between me and vanilla society, and therefore between me and a normal, healthy relationship. The fetish isn't all to blame; it's just a side-effect, a symptom of the underlying disease.

Now don't get me mixed up on this: I love my mother and my step-father very much. As an adult looking back, I understand why they did they things they did, and I know they were doing the best that they knew how. More importantly, I know they loved me. After I saw that side of my childhood for what it actually was, it was a lot easier to come to terms with (and move on from) the other side. It's been over a decade since I've seen or heard from my biological father, and once the pain faded and it wasn't too sore to reflect on, I realized that leaving was the best thing he ever did for me.

>>44555

>I mean, is this a thing?

>I don't know any case of this actually happening

See:

>>41042

Things like that. I don't necessarily mean parents actually diapering/babying them, but I have heard stories of that (though I've had no way to confirm their veracity).

I occasionally fantasize about my parents forcing me back into diapers, and I feel like that desire stems from a lack of trust in the emotional bond between me and parents. Bodily waste is considered so vile by the vast majority of people that they won't even talk about it, so urinating and defecating on yourself in front of other people feels like the most heinous of social offenses. By forcing me to wear and use diapers, they'd be making me entirely vulnerable while taking away responsibility. It would be the pinnacle of parental love (or so it seems it would be).

>>44654

by "healthier" do you mean culturally acceptable, or something else? Forgive me if the question is indelicate, but what are your current outlets?

>I wonder if autism-spectrum disorders are really as common amongst our community as they seem, or if it's just the autists that make the most noise. I hope it's the latter

me too, you're paragraphe on finding it a burden rather than a fault is refreshingly enlightened. Pity it isn't a sentiment more expressed in our subculture, the younger ABs and TBs need to hear that the most. The sort of advice I wish I had heard long before I had to figure it out myself.

>I really need to cut the porn out, as I'm sure removing pornographic reinforcement of the fetish would reduce the intensity of the compulsions

oh god, yeah. WIthout getting too metaphysical, porn warps the mind and the fetish in particular. It might be optimal for myself to reduce outlets to a diaper drawer and some toys, and leave the rest to imagination.

As for memories, my earliest one may be an amalgum of other diaper changes, since it was part of daily living at the time. All I remember though was my mom telling me to lift my bum, and then sitting back down onto a new diaper.

As for (seemingly) singular memories,

>Two years old, don't know if before or after potty training

>playing in nursery with either sister or cousin, both are close in age.

>sitting next to diaper box on the floor, notice diaper and pull it out. Find the process, maybe the sound, amusing. Keep pulling them out and throwing them in the air, watching them fall.

>Mom comes into nursery after the box is empty, asking me what happened. Saying something along the lines of "look at this mess"

when I got my training pants, i remember my mom showing me one in the bathroom, quizing me on the names on the drawings, don't know what they were. It was pre-disney licensing, at least on pull-ups.

A later memory, somewhere around five, I was in my sister and cousin's room (we'd all left the nursery at the time), one of their dolls came with a diaper, and yeah, like you said, ain't nothing fake about them. I was fully clothed, but I took the diaper and lied on the bed, and held my legs up, saying "I'm a baby change me." Naturally, the girls didn't join in the game, but they found it funny and gross.

Around the same time, my sister started potty training, and I remember pressing my mom about why she didn't get pull-ups. Mom said she didn't need them, and I said it wasn't fair to her. Don't know if this was before I figured out that my desires weren't normal, or if I was deliberately trying to keep diapers in the house as she and my cousin were the youngest at the time. My mom was starting to get angry when she talked me down.

not a memory but a few years ago my mom stated training pants were awful, one of my nephews was out of diapers. Mentioned that I just acted like they were diapers. She would find me squating behind the TV or in the closet trying to poop. She would scold me like "are you pooping" and I'd say no. It must have been messed up for me. Pooping was something I had to do, but I had to hide because I was then getting scolded for doing it. Obviously not because of the pooping itself, but kids are stupid. come to think of it, that's the most plausible candidate for what did me in, re: having a normal sexual development

>>40975 (OP)

>I slept in a crib in my parents room until I was 9-10

this is fap fiction right?

you never had issues with making friends after them knowing this?

How would you feel knowing that your enabling your kid into a socially awkward area that will inhibit their social growth as a person

I had the social skills of an autist due to my upbringing and my friend group and regret not being forced out of it, couldve helped me develop better and alleviate hardship and bullying I faced later

>>44664

I hear ya. In my case, I had birth defects so I had to wear diapers 24/7 until I was around 10 or 11, pads and plastic pants for years after that--though honestly, the problem stayed bad until I was 20, so I should have just been in adult diapers the whole time. I know my mom loved me but she was freaked out by nudity and very obviously HATED changing diapers, so she would often leave me in a wet or messy diaper for hours. Especially when I was little, she'd try to run out the clock until my dad got home from work and make him change me instead. (Supposedly, according to my brother, my dad once even threatened to leave her and take me with him because she wasn't keeping me clean.) Later on, I know she regretted it and got a lot nicer (once I started changing my own diapers, around 7 or so) but by then the damage was done.

>>44615

I agree with the idea of being a community only linked by a single thread (this fetish). I for instance had no kind of childhood trauma or any kind of abuse that would trigger liking diapers, but one of my earliest memories was me having an accident at preschool and made to wear pullups when I got home. Once I was alone though I proceeded to put as many of them on as possible because I liked the cushy feeling having so many gave (still do, it's my favorite part of the fetish) and I got in trouble when my parents found out because it was wasteful.

Nothing I can think of would have triggered this kind of thinking before so it really is a weird circumstance. I do know I've had the fetish for pretty much my entire life.