This is a hard show to salvage given the innate stupidity of devaluing the Hell in a Cell stipulation annually, the weakness of the card and the tepid build, but I've given it my best shot here.
The curtain jerker between Ziggler and Roode can go either way. Ziggler should enter to Roode's music at the beginning. This seems that so obvious that even WWE probably won't mess it up. Probably.
AJ Styles beats Baron Corbin to retain the US title
AJ should be in the main event scene, but he also shouldn't be out here losing to Coldsteel. He'll have to lose US title before the Rumble, but there should be a less embarassing way to do so. Maybe he loses to someone credible like Roode at some point. For this match, AJ outwrestles and outperforms his edgy opponent and wins.
<Why do I get the feeling Coldsteel is going to win and feud with Dillinger?
Natalya Neidhart beats Charlotte Flair to retain the SmackDown women's title
One year after making history with Sasha Banks by putting on the worst Hell in a Cell match of all time, Charlotte finds herself outside the confines of the Cell where she belongs. This match should be predominantly mat wrestling given that the two both have submission finishers. Make sure they've rehearsed it all so they can cut down on the botches. Jesus. Anyway, Charlotte gets the upper hand and puts Natalya into the Figure Eight, then Carmella casually saunters in and bonks her on the head with the briefcase. Natalya rolls up for the pin while watching Carmella to make sure she doesn't cash in. Carmella doesn't seem to want to; she instead smiles at Natalya and skips away merrily.
<Eh, it's the best I can do. Give them some time so I can microwave a burrito or something.
Randy Orton beats Rusev
What a throwaway match. Orton RKOs him at the beginning again and the show moves on like nothing happened.
<Certainly there should be something better for these two to do.
Shinsuke Nakamura beats Jinder Mahal to win the WWE Championship
You all know about Nakamura's reputation as the King of Strong Style, but who else remembers Jinder elbowing Finn Bálor's hean clean off of his body on that one Raw? Hits like that should be the theme in this match. I want spirited puroresu chop exchanges and shouting, dammit! Eventually, Shinsuke hits a Kinshasa and looks about ready to flush the poo when, big shock, the Singh brothers run in as usual. This time, Shinsuke is ready for the predictable interference and puts them down with kicks and punches. He then hits a second Kinshasa on a recovering Jinder and covers for the pin.
<Jinder's keeping that title warm until the Royal Rumble, even though he's been incredibly boring and should immediately be demoted to jobber to the stars status.
'The New Day beats The Usos in the Cell to retain the SmackDown tag titles
I'm not a fan of lowering and raising the Cell throughout the night, so put this match on before the main event. Hell in a Cell matches are no DQ, so why exactly should the New Day not play the numbers game and fight as a team of three? Things get ugly, which is to say as ugly as you can get in a PG-rated Hell in a Cell match. Let them be spot monkeys. I want Kofi jumping off the cell walls like Spider-Man. The Usos try to even the odds by using weapons, but The New Day also show a willingness to use weapons and beat them down. The match ends with Big E hitting the Big Ending on both Usos at the same time and covering both for the win. This ends the feud, because come on.
After the match, do the Fashion Files segment and reveal The New Day as the attackers. Leave their motives a mystery for now, but that's the start of the next feud.
<I wouldn't be too shocked to see the Usos win to continue this unending feud.
Main event in the next post because of length limits.