"Alright that would be the nip express comprised of wally sneaky fingers, ping pong chu and the mysterious but certainly oriental masked dr Tojo wing Wong, next would be the latest southern heavyweight champion mr poopy butthole who dethroned lawler last week at the card in uncle Jeds meth shed , for a reign that will only last for a week or 2 at most likely like every other 2 bit monster heel for that low paying egotistical lazy booking asshat, mr poopy butthole won when the King passed out after hearing abunch'a smug shitty atheist pseudo-intellectual nonsense and herp derp leddit humour or some shit that's wrote down on this paper idk I wasn't there I was at a mighty knights meeting with fellow white klansman brothers you fucking nigger fuck off and agitate more you literal unfinished humans bathed in satan shit, we'll have more details on the card later in the show fans but now we gotta watch the masked and mysterious el plowboy diabeto in a squash oh gee this gimmick vs the skinny rapist that one jobber who's only discernible traits are the self explanatory rape charge and skinny frame, Sigh my life's in fucking shambles rn at home fans. "