>Be you
>Self sufficient 30something
>Disregard bitches acquire currency
>You meet some christmas cake Monmusu while buying food
>she asks your opinion on the marinade you're holding
>You shrug, admit you usually make your own but today you're feeling lazy
>Also it was arm day and the concept of manually reducing a marinade for half an hour is utterly terrifying
>She sighs, "I wish I could do that, but my rangehood just won't work"
>wtf, what kind of man leaves his wife with a busted rangehood?
>"Oh… I'm not married"
>That little voice in your head that's supposed to warn you in these situations fucked off to vegas in despair about ten years ago
>You sigh, "Well hell, do you want me to come take a look? Can't be eating takeout all the time, it's not good for you"
>She looks at you like you're the most amazing person in the world. "Would you?"
>"It would be my pleasure".
>Chivalry all day erry day
>Get back to her place
>Fucking NICE digs, she lives here all by herself?
>You remark on how nice a house she keeps
>She giggles. You can see she's trying to be girlish but she's too collected for that.
>She guides you to the kitchen.
>The rangehood is brand new
>The plug is sitting off to the side conspicuously.
>You turn around to see her giving you bedroom eyes, running her tongue across her teeth.
>Your face when.