/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

>>360865

>After raiding a sex shop and stealing enough oil based lube to warrant a U.S. invasion I start pouring them in all the hallways filling them up till the floor shines like a well oiled backside of a cosplayer

>Just remember she isn't doing it for the attention :^)

>Put on the Super Mario World underwater theme and watch as they fall on their faces

>Laugh as I watch from the cameras as the students slip all over the place. I think that centaur just broke her leg, off to the glue factory with her

>The lamias are trying to do that tail moving locomotion thing that's walking to them but they're just Scooby Doo-ing

>Laugh even harder as the manticore trips and has a ushi-oni land on her tail-pussy

>The ushi-oni stands up with the look of pure lust in her eyes as she runs off to rape some poor kid

>RIP that fuckers pelvis

>I watch a little longer before emergency services show up and the police try to plink me with their 9mm

>I have become bully, destroyer of underwear and causer of school shootings

>I notice that the sun is starting to go down…

>Well there's no time like the present

>I head back home and notice that mom, dad and uncle are finally awake and drinking copious amounts of seltzer water

>"Heya, son, ready for your wedding? Also, did we get the cake? I can't remember…"

"Don't worry I got for you, and drove you guys here"

>I also notice mom isn't holding lil' sis anymore

"Mom, where is lil' sis?"

<"Oh, she's in the kitchen playing with the knives"

"Ay, fair enough"

>I can't really object to that. I mean, I played with knives and I turned out fine, besides a few of those scars that mar my face

>And besides can you really call yourself a salamander if you don't have a few scars at least?

>It's like a jinko. If they don't have at least one scar on their face then they're not a true adult jinko yet

>But it's always better to gain said scar by battle and not by accidentally cutting yourself as a child

>I walk into the kitchen and see lil' sis faffing about with the knife block by pulling them out and stabbing them into a watermelon

>Already practicing I see

>She'll be great warrior, one day

>I pray she doesn't fall to the perils of neethood and actually hones her skills with real battle

>I take the knives off her and put them back into the block and carry her off to mother

"You guys should probably go get dressed for the wedding"

>Dad looks at me and then at his armor

>"Suit and ties?"

"No, you're actually fine. Mom needs to dress up in her raiment"

<"What about uncle?"

"I've never seen him without a bulletproof vest before and I'm not about to start now, plus it fits him"

>Uncle gives me a thumbs up before downing some painkillers while he replaces his old bandages

>Mom scoffs as she goes out to the car and brings back a much more ornamental looking armor

>Also the size of it is much smaller than… well, I'm not about to risk calling my mom fat, even in my own head

>Wait I just did… shit

>I pray that she doesn't have any mindflayer friends or somehow has a fucking ring of mindreading

>I she dips into the bathroom and we all hear her struggle to put it on and even asking my dad to help her

>But one thing leads to another, or so I'm assuming, and I'm now hearing moans coming from the bathroom so I grab the cake, my lil' sis and head to the roof

>I ask uncle if he wants to come but he's go to replace the more… intimate parts of his bandages. So, he heads off to the other bathroom

>I sure hope he finds it

>I see all the tables are set out and everything is ready

>I set down the cake and watch the sunset over the city

>I should take it in now, cause there might not be a city left after this

>Course whether that's due to the giant sinkhole sucking everything into it or a storm of chaos fucking everything up, I don't know

>I lay back in a chair with my lil' sis on my knee and watch some kids TV show on my phone and notice that the sun had set already

>Mom and dad make their way up to the roof and take lil' sis off my hands

>>360867

>"You know if you keep taking care of your lil' sis like that then we might just leave her with you!"

"Hhahahahaha… not on my fucking life"

>Mom then takes lil' sis out of my arms and cradles her

>I try to hold back as I finally see mom in her armor

>Calling it tight would be an understatement

>But my resolve stands

>I may disrespect everyone else but my mother instills fear into me

>Especially when she has a wooden spoon

>Also didn't her and dad just bang… gross, man

>I get up and notice that portals are starting to open

>Chaos warriors with their waifus start coming through

>From those chosen by Tzeentch and their bird fetish that pretty makes them harpy hunters

>To Slaanesh's chosen who all have their elven waifu in tow, guess they have an elf fetish

>Nurgle's chosen all seem to mostly have insect type monsters with them mostly devil bugs and oomukade

>Damn even literal pus sacks find love

>Can someone explain to me how the fuck wizards are still a thing?

>Khorne's champions have their waifus from all walks of life, or walks of life that happen to be violent, some minotaurs, others lizardwomen, jinkos and some even salamanders, like my mom

>They also all bring food setting it down at the long table

>Most of the food seems good enough, meat and more meat

>Sometimes though it's just weird

>Tzeentch's casserole is impossible to figure out what's inside it

>And I just throw away all of Nurgle's shit

>It's not like they won't eat it out of the trash

>Within minutes the wedding kicks off and Khorne's followers have already set up a fight pit, Slaanesh's chosen are already handholding their elven waifu, Tzeentch's madmen are doing their best to find out who Pepe Silvia is, and Nurgle's rothelms are eating out of the trash

>Truly this is what the south fears, besides those Khorne fuckers. Fear those niggas, they rip each others arms off and laugh it off

>Seeing all these people here with their wives just makes me wonder where the hell mine are

>Goddammit, I get used to being around them so much that I'm starting to miss them

>But this is no time to mope about waiting for them

>This is a party and it's time to have fun

>I could try to wrangle in all the chaos warriors and finish what those rat girls started

>I could maybe have a little heart to heart with mom and dad and get some marriage advice

>I could go find my lovely wives. After all, if these fuckers got here, then Morathi and Sindria are around here somewhere

>I could go see if uncle fucking OD'd yet and went the way of Elvis, cause I haven't seen him in awhile

>I could be responsible and maybe polish my armor a bit more or tie some skulls to my cape

>What should I do?

1. Gentrification: Chaos Edition

2. Hide and seek

3. Search the bathrooms for uncle

4. Nigga gotta look good

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>360868

5. Assert your dominance. Dick drawing contest. Now.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>360880

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>360880

You dumb fucker. This is what happens when you dab.

Real men assert dominance by chugging down rectified spirits.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>360868

Find our waifu(s) and come out looking fly.

>>360900 (check'd)

What should we do then? Also I fucking called it

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>360744 (OP)

alas, poor Brendan

>>360868

>2. Hide and seek.

When we finish the ceremonies and take our wives backstage to re-consummate the marriage, assert dominance by turning sindria back into a sword and using the flat of her blade to spank morathi. then let her back out of the blade for the threesome.

>>360868

>I look around and notice most, heck, if not all the men here have waifus

>That's it, I'm not gonna stand being alone for one more minute. Every time I look around I see the men and their waifus having fun and enjoying each other. I can't stand it

>Those Tzeentch fuckers have their harpy wives wrapping them in their wings

>Those Slaanesh degenerates are still holding hands with their elven slave waifus

>Those Nurgle plague lords are lamenting that about why they couldn't be home and just watching anime together. Fucking neets

>Those Khorne berserkers are all dueling their waifus to first blood then the winner has the lick the wound of the loser. I bet if I recorded that shit I would make a killing selling that to vampires

>But no more. I'm gonna go find Sindria and Morathi

>I head back down systematically going door to door and putting my ear up to it before checking inside

>I almost give up hope till I hear the sounds of women squeeling happily

>I put my ear up to the door and hear both of my brides mothers talking about how happy they are for them, or how it reminds them of the time they got married

>Morathi's mom suddenly brings up that she knows an ice cream parlor and that they should head there before the ceremony

>Sindria and Morathi decline and say that they have to put the finishing touches on their makeup

>Both mothers lament about how they look perfect and they don't need any more touch-ups

>After a short argument I paid no attention to because: women

>Their mothers relent and agree to pick them up something

>I dip into another room and wait for the sound of walking to dissipate before making my move

>I silently open the door to where both Morathi and Sindria are hard at work getting the right shade of eyeliner

>I don't even know why the need makeup. They both looked perfect before hand, eh, it's probably some monster thing

>I sneak up behind, well, I sneak up the best I can when I'm in full chaos plate

>And to my surprise they don't notice me

>With the quickness of a lamia's strike I grab both of them and hug them tightly

"I couldn't tell you how much I've missed you both"

"Especially seeing all those couples at the party just makes me saltier than a mermaid"

<"It's only been a day and most of this one and you miss us this much?"

>Morathi is truly the most astute out of all of us

"Yes, don't you two feel the same?"

<"Of course I did. Every moment I spend with you reminds me why I didn't just become a neet like most daemon princesses"

>Sindria then places a hand on my thigh and starts massaging closer and closer to my crotch

>I look to Morathi and ask her again

"C'mon, Morathi, don't tell me you didn't miss me"

>Morathi's face turns red as she crosses her arms and looks away

<"N-no! Besides, what are you even doing here, isn't it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding!?"

"Well, if you don't want to see that's fine"

>I pick up Sindria and carry her off to the bed and close the mosquito nets, or whatever you call that cloth that covers the bed from outside viewing

>I begin to fool around with Sindria, groping her, kissing, lovingly caressing her, telling her how much I love her, handholding, mostly tame stuff as I don't wanna ruin the dress. At least not yet

>Just then Morathi flings open the cloth and looks like a tomato with how red she is

"I thought you said 'It's not good luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding'?"

<"W-well… I said 'bride' not… brides"

>I grab her by her wrist and drag her in to be relentlessly cuddled while I massage her stomach while I hug her from behind

>I heard somewhere that all reptile like monster girls have sensitive stomachs. And judging from Morathi's reaction it's true

>She bites a claw as she tries not to let out any moans

>I intensify my assault on her by whispering sweet nothings into her ear

>Time for the finisher

>I notice her tail is swinging aimlessly so I decide to lick it

>Besides being kinda gay, the reaction is instant to Morathi

>Her body tightens up as she lets out a cute moan

>I don't want her to ruin her panties. Again, at least not yet

>I stop and take away my hands from her

>>361131

<"W-why'd you stop?"

>She sounds like she just ran a marathon

"I was just prepping you for tonight"

>Sindria suddenly grabs me from behind and pulls me down before straddling me

<"If we're going by what you're saying, then we should prep you for tonight as well"

>Sindria taps my armor and it the pieces start falling off scattering around the bed

>Fucking daemon magic

>I push her off and plan on dominating her but Morathi grabs me from behind and full nelsons me

>Sindria then holds my legs open while she gives me a footjob through my underwear

>Morathi starts to nibble my ear

>I feel myself begin to edge as Sindria stops and smiles at me

<"I was just prepping you for tonight"

>Both Morathi and Sindria laugh as they high-five

>I swear I'm going to get my fucking revenge

>They help me back into my armor and give it two thin coats of Abaddon black

>Who the fuck is Abaddon I don't know, but what I do know it to always thin your paints

>Looking spiffy I plan to leave out the door till I hear both mom's talking about that nice glacies and how cute she looked next to her hubby

>Shit

>We all start to panic and start looking for places to hide

>Morathi suggests I hide in the closet

>Fucking ha ha

>Oh wait, she's serious

>Sindria suggests that I hide under the bed

>I ask her why the Hell she just doesn't teleport me, she quickly explains that teleportation isn't exact magic and she could accidentally teleport me either into a wall, or teleport me into a hundred years into the future

>I then notice the window. I look outside and notice it has a lip I can shimmy on

>Or I could just stand here and say hello to them. I mean, I am marrying their daughters

>What to do?

1. Hide in the closet

2. Under the bed

3. Teleport me and damn the consequences

4. Sam Fisher it

5. Say hi

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>361133

(checked)

4. Look them in the eye, say hi, and finish. We're a man. Men finish.

>>361133

>I look around and decide to act quick

>The window is to dangerous and I risk fucking up my paintjob

>I can't risk teleportation

>And I'm not about to hide like a damn child

>And I'm most certainty not risking my mother-in-laws' ire

>I ask Morathi for a boost and jump in the corner of the ceiling and push my feet and hands into the walls

>Spider-man cosplay initiated

>I sit up in the corner as Morathi and Sindria face palm

<"This is never gonna work"

"Just shut up and open the door"

>They let there mothers in who've bought them some chocolate dipped vanilla soft serves with waffle cones

>I know most monsters get the mom-bod when they get married, but if this is any indication to why, then I can figure out

>They continue to talk about girly stuff like how nice the drapes look and start talking about kids

>I stifle my laughter as Morathi tries to explain that we've been doing it for awhile now

>Sindria, morosely, brings up that she can actually get pregnant. That on part due to the fact that she's not an actual physical creature and a being of the Gods

>I make a mental note to finish deep inside Sindria

>Well I was going to anyway but you get the point

>They soon go back to girl stuff and how they life those Egyptian style carpets and how nice their dresses look

>Thankfully they left the door open

>I slide down and tip-toe out of the room with mother-in-laws none the wiser

>I make my way back to the party and enjoy the food

>Till my dad finds me and starts dragging me away

>"C'mon we gotta go"

"What is it, dad?"

>"The ceremony is going to come underway and your mother wants to see you one last time before you're married"

>I sigh as dad brings me away from the food and into another room where mom is rocking lil' sis's bassinet

>Where the fuck did they even find that?

>Mom notices me and wraps her arms around me and pulling me into the tightest hug ever

<"Honey, I know we weren't around a lot but that doesn't mean we don't love you any les-"

>"For God's sake! He already knows this dear, no reason to embarrass him!"

<"Embarrass him in front of who? Even you got to know that this is the last night that he'll be our little boy! He's going to get married and we won't get to see him as much"

"You do know I live like a mile away from home, right?"

>"Trust me, son, you ain't gonna want us to visit you everyday because it gets old really fast and it's even worse when your parents walk in on you making love"

>"Or in me and your mother's case. Your uncle"

>"And besides, at some point you have to realize that while you love your parents, you love your family even more"

>Wow… that's surprisingly deep, coming from dad

>I nod in agreement. Silently understanding dad

>Mom hugs me again and I see her eyes starting to well up

>I'd joke at her expense. But dad, somehow reading my mind, decides to take the hit for me

>"What's the matter? The tough salamander gonna cry?"

>Mom turns around ready to chide dad, but his reflexes are on point and he starts to tickle her

>I take this as my signal to gtfo

>I close the door behind me and I can start hearing moans coming from there as I walk down the hallway

>Just then I see uncle looking around before noticing me and dragging me off just like dad did

>"Come now, the ceremony is about to start and I need you ready at the alter with me. And where's my brother… I mean: your father?"

"He's, uhhh, with mom…"

>"They're fucking aren't they?"

"Pretty much"

>"Perfect. I'll go get them, you get yourself up to the alter and see about getting an industrial carpet cleaner"

>Fucking eww

>I do as my uncle says and make my way up to the alter standing in front of some chaos warriors talking about that Blood Bowl game last night

>Overhearing this conversation I pickup that everyone in that game disappeared

>Apparently a giant hole swallowed the stadium and a bunch of rat girls got new hubbies

>That's Blood Bowl for ya

>I see some of the brides' maids start lining up

>>361357

>They all seem to be daemons princesses of some kind

>I know the blue one with wings is Tzeentch, the one that has the same kool-aid tinged skin is Khorne, the beelzebub is of course Nurgle and the final one looks like a dark elf that likes to wear purple

>I see Azrika with a camera ready to record the whole thing

>I eventually see mom and dad come running up and taking a seat next to Morathi's mom and Sindria's parents. Uncle comes soon after them and stands before me at the alter ready to get this procession going

>Fanfare starts as both Morathi and Sindria come walking down the aisle

>Stunning would be an understatement to describe them

>I feel butterflies in my stomach as they walk up, finally stopping across from me at the alter

>Uncle then starts the whole "Family, friends, we come here to blah blah blah"

>I mostly ignore him admiring the beauty of my wives

>Just seeing them like this makes my heart go doki~ doki~

>Let's hope that isn't heart palpitations

>Eventually my train of though of how hard I'm going to wreck them tonight is broken by uncle asking Sindria and Morathi if they'll take me to be their lawfully wedded husband

>In unison they both say

<"I do"

>Now my uncle asks me if I'll take Morathi and Sindria as my lawfully wedded wives

>The whole world seems to slow down as I notice my dad and Sindria's dad looking proud, and the moms all tearing up and sharing kleenex

>My heart starts to pump even faster as I notice all people watching

>I calm myself down and look back to Morathi and Sindria

>I feel a little sadistic part in the back of my head edging me on to bully them even here, it tells me to say "I do not"

>But the normal part of my conscious says to say "I do"

>I'd like to play a game

>Which one should I go with?

1. I do

2. I do not

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>361358

>1. I DO!

Dice gods please no bully

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>361358

>>361360

I’m voting for this and I DO NOT as well. Because this is a great way to fuck up the cyoa in a spectacular way and if fucking up cyoas through random dice rolls isn’t what this paladin series is about then I don’t know what is. Time to crash this wedding with no survivors.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>361358

Time to ruin this once and for all.

2. I do not

>>361366

>I DO NOT

>Rolled a 1

Enjoy your loving and fulfilling marriage epilogue, anon I'll update tomorrow. Unless some fucker rolls 20

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>361368

Nah fam, I refuse to let the cyoa end this way. Your previous cyoas didn’t end in loving and fulfilling marriage, and we gotta keep to tradition. We don’t come to your cyoas for waifuery, we come for the chaos and mayhem. We didn’t waifu anything last cyoa, nor the one before where the danuki blackmailed the mc into sex with some gargoyle thing then tape it as a porno if I remember correctly. Instead we chose to blow ourself up, taking the danukike out with us. Give the people what we want, and we want the bully.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

In tonight's nooze, baneposter plays himself like a fiddle, fire confirmed confined to a dumpster, extinguished.

Rolling for 'I do'

Rolled 17 (1d20)

Voting "I DO" because I'm a sucker for happy endings, but the dice will have their way.

>>361508

>I open it and see my lil' sis sleeping quietly

>I hold back screaming at the top of my lungs and try thinking of another reason she could be here

>Maybe my parents are staying the night, or we're just baby sitting for them

>I turn to Sindria inquiring about our little guest

"So, why is my lil' sis still here?"

<"Oh, yes, her. Your parents left her in a basket on the doorstep"

"M-maybe they just forgot her?"

>She pulls out a note and hands it to me

<"I wouldn't be to sure"

>Dear son. Your mother and I have decided to leave Tanis (your little sister's name) in your care, since we know that you'd do a better job than us. Love mom and dad

>I calmly walk to another room and call my dad

>"Hello?"

"Hey, dad, I know what you and mom just did so get back here and-"

>"HAH! Voicemail, you know what to do"

>I'm going to kill my parents if I ever see them again

>I call my uncle next

>"Yellow?"

>Hang on, that's not my uncle's voice

"D-dad?"

>"HAH! Gotcha again, my brother wanted to tell you that he met someone at the wedding and they really hit it off and they went back to her place"

>I take deep breath and before letting out a warcry and tossing my phone at the wall

>I walk out angrily and finish my breakfast

>That's it. I'm going to make my lil' sis's life living Hell, I'll embarrass her in front of all her friends, dad jokes will be the only way I communicate to her and I'll sabotage her every attempt of trying to get a boyfriend

>Sindria goes over to my lil' sis who is now awake and starts cradling her

"Already getting your mothering practice in?"

<"And your about to get your fathering practice in"

>She hands me my lil' sis and smiles as she takes a photo of both of us

>Lil' sis looks over and says her first word

<"D-dada"

"I can't help but think about how awkward it's going to be explaining that I'm her brother and not her dad, when she gets older"

>Morathi finished cleaning the plates pulls something out of her pocket and hands it to me

<"Speaking of mothering…"

>I recognize this as a pregnancy test and it shows a positive

>I stare dumbfounded at her for a few seconds then coming back to it

"A-already!?"

<"Well… it's been like that since the hotspring. I was just looking for a time to tell you"

>Take a few deep breaths and contemplate suicide for a moment

>But I look to my wives and realize that even death wouldn't be an escape

>But ya know, maybe it isn't all so bad

>>361509

Don't let the door hit you guys on the way out

>>361366

HHHHAAAHAHHAHAHA

>>361511

To think we've finally reached the end…

Thanks OP, it was a great ride. What other CYOAs did you do?

>>361509

>Tfw you finish a paladin cyoa while only killing yourself once

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>361509

Thanks for another comfy ride as always, writefag. I hope you will continue with a new story sooner rather than later.

Rolling for a future story.

>>361509

thanks this was really fun