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/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

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File (hide): b199cfad9b3a390⋯.jpg (288 KB, 875x1250, 7:10, hcdn0002.jpg) (h) (u)

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c2df72 (1) No.311016>>311058 >>311077 >>311096 >>311186 >>311208 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]

Describe your ideal first date with a monstergirl.

Who is your date?

How do you two get the date?

Where do you go?

What do you do?

Does it come with a happy ending?

bc1756 (2) No.311025

File (hide): 1fa4b49ffdd6f1d⋯.jpg (500.26 KB, 1200x1755, 80:117, 03_iSVCM22.jpg) (h) (u)

File (hide): fb5ed6b627570a5⋯.jpg (298.34 KB, 850x1202, 425:601, sandworm05.jpg) (h) (u)

>Describe your ideal first date with a monstergirl.

My ideal first date would be a bit…unconventional. Basically it involves me getting flung up into the air a hundred feet or so, eaten, and then some slimy sex.

>Who is your date?

Pic related

>How do you two get the date?

I walked across the desert with a shirt saying in big red letters "SANDWORM BAIT", and she took the bait.

>Where do you go?

Roughly 50 feet into the ground

>What do you do?

Sex, cuddling, and kissing.

>Does it come with a happy ending?

Yes, with marriage.


759d4b (2) No.311047>>311051 >>311055 >>311057 >>311062 >>311073 >>311074 >>311081 >>311082 >>311121 >>311138 >>311160 >>311229 >>311282

My red onion waifu.

I decide to show her around town.

Go swimming in the morning, then go to a restaurant for lunch, then go around to various breweries with taprooms, then go watch the local bat colony come out in the evening.


759d4b (2) No.311051>>311055 >>311069 >>311079 >>311081 >>311282

>>311047

*Oni

I fucking hate autocorrect


f8f159 (2) No.311055

>>311047

>>311051

Too late, it's posted now. How does one impregnate an onion?


3c5b9d (3) No.311057

File (hide): b5333669de8805e⋯.jpg (65.68 KB, 660x564, 55:47, 1447104154463.jpg) (h) (u)

>>311047

>Red onion waifu

I can't stop fucking laughing


8154dc (1) No.311058

File (hide): ebe5c70b7005ec3⋯.jpg (156.5 KB, 500x715, 100:143, fluffy8.jpg) (h) (u)

>>311016 (OP)

>Who is your date?

Kitsune

How do you two get the date?

Spontanous idea

Where do you go?

In the nearby forest

What do you do?

Picnic at the small river, followed by handholding, cuddling, sex and maybe sleeping

Does it come with a happy ending?

:^)


f20ce6 (2) No.311062

File (hide): ce72744e351c88d⋯.png (307.09 KB, 496x600, 62:75, Redoni8.png) (h) (u)

>>311047

Cute waifu anon


4167f2 (1) No.311069

File (hide): 0528f5f96c3d26d⋯.png (151.16 KB, 604x311, 604:311, 1462318800731.png) (h) (u)

>>311051

LAYERS


3c5b9d (3) No.311073

File (hide): 5cbf066e37f5042⋯.jpg (52.03 KB, 1024x768, 4:3, red onion waifu.jpg) (h) (u)


f8f159 (2) No.311074>>311095

File (hide): caefad8f301aa22⋯.png (607.82 KB, 1000x1000, 1:1, ClipboardImage.png) (h) (u)

>>311047

Is this too lewd?


4ff25d (4) No.311077>>311088

>>311016 (OP)

>exiting college gym

>not a fag so don't use public shower, make way to dorm

>anubis studying on bench, reading about some physics shit I don't understand

>she catches wind of my danky sweaty body

>her ears perk up and she blushes while digging her face deeper into her textbooks

>pushing iron weights for an hour has given me a need to seed, and testosterone to spare

>introduce self, ask her how she's doing

>she can barely squeak out an answer

>eventually get a name out of her and ask her what all the books are about

>she tries to explain some scientific stuff I don't understand, real adorable little spergout

>pat her head and tell her its cool, just gotta go to my dorm and shower

>she blurts out that she wants to help

>she realizes her mistake

>redder than an onion

>take it in stride, she joins me to the dorm, loving shower sex and doggy style, followed by cuddles and having a real date afterwards at one of the nicer restaurants in town

>both graduate a few years later, she retires to housewifedom until the kids have grown up and I work as a civil engineer Making America Great Again

>6 kids later, and a 7th on the way, we're one big happy family

its the dream lads


a5246b (1) No.311079

>>311051

that's what you get for posting on the phone, Normalfag-kun.


4119f4 (3) No.311081

File (hide): 4edf63035156db8⋯.png (4.84 MB, 5575x3000, 223:120, Running Laps.png) (h) (u)

File (hide): 2668c582694cd8a⋯.jpg (55.65 KB, 592x236, 148:59, 6-layered running track.jpg) (h) (u)

>>311047

>>311051

RUNNING TRACKS ARE LIKE ONIONS


bc1756 (2) No.311082

File (hide): 598d1a59c707090⋯.png (196.96 KB, 600x450, 4:3, baphomet28.png) (h) (u)

>>311047

>red onion waifu


8afcce (1) No.311088>>311089

>>311077

>fucking someone you just met

disgusting


4119f4 (3) No.311089>>311102

>>311088

If it's a monster girl and you're resolute enough to take responsibility, it's the right thing to do, anon.


2e2ced (2) No.311095

>>311074

>posting nude images of the guy's waifu

fucking faggot


7e6e54 (1) No.311096

>>311016 (OP)

>Who is your date?

Ryu. Dragon, snek and cake all in one.

>How do you two get the date?

I assume a few days after fucking like rabbits.

>Where do you go?

Back to my place.

>What do you do?

Vidya. Also copious amounts of loving sex with the hope of impregnation.

>Does it come with a happy ending?

Daugtherus. 'nuff said.


d7294c (1) No.311099>>311101 >>311297

Describe your ideal first date with a monstergirl.

Who is your date?

Dubs

How do you two get the date?

Like this get.

Where do you go?

Bateman's house.

What do you do?

Check em'.

Does it come with a happy ending?

It comes with dubs.


f20ce6 (2) No.311101

File (hide): 4deb9dbe1de7419⋯.mp4 (1.87 MB, 326x244, 163:122, MISSION STATUS SICK.mp4) (h) (u) [play once] [loop]

>>311099

>CHECK'D


140c35 (1) No.311102>>311104 >>311108

>>311089

But how on earth do you know you'll love her? What makes her special to you, compared to every other monster girl?

Besides, the complete flippancy with which he treats her interests makes him sound like a cunt anyway.


4119f4 (3) No.311104

>>311102

But anon, he even went and became a civil engineer himself, how is that being flippant to her math interests?


4ff25d (4) No.311108>>311133

File (hide): 40b18e4ea9d5d01⋯.png (207.82 KB, 800x957, 800:957, qU6xAjs.png) (h) (u)

>>311102

I didn't know, that's why after we went down on each other we went out and got to know each other better. Lust just tends to come first, love is the thing you do after the dust settles and you have to face reality together, and that's where relationships based on lust fall apart. If it wasn't supposed to be anything, it would be a novel story and nothing more. It became more.

Never would've gotten the degree without her help :^)


af4313 (1) No.311116

File (hide): 6fc30571a4b90f9⋯.jpg (21.17 KB, 467x351, 467:351, 62777__468x_cool-cats-056.jpg) (h) (u)

I'd probably sperg out in public under delusions of messianic grandeur that I'd "save her," while leaving the "from what," a little more than obfuscate. Then when she actually rolled around to my dingy apartment, to a combination of disbelief, exacerbated with loathing of my landlord with whom I'd been having a spat, I'd insist it was all a joke and that I'd been mocking her, and that she should leave my sight--which she very well might in barely concealed tears. Afterwards I'd masturbate with my own traitorous sobs as lubrication.


b31a32 (1) No.311121

>>311047

OGRES HAVE LAYERS

ONIONS HAVE LAYERS


3c5b9d (3) No.311123

File (hide): 2dd5da16082638d⋯.jpg (14.66 KB, 300x300, 1:1, Sweating man towel.jpg) (h) (u)

>Who is your date?

Baphomet

>How do you two get the date?

<Wake up next to horned little girl in bed

<"I'm your waifu now, anon"

<it's alright I guess.gif

>Where do you go?

I really don't want people to see me kissing someone that looks almost prepubescent so we stay home

>What do you do?

Eat pizza, drink beer, watch a documentary or a film and take it easy

>Does it come with a happy ending?

<Ok, you're a monster girl and all but you look a tad bit too young for my taste. How about we take it slow for now so I can get used to how you look?

<No

[Rape sounds with romantic jazz music in the background]


5b09e8 (1) No.311126

>Who is your date?

Nobody

>How do you two get the date?

By default

>Where do you go?

Stayed inside all day

>What do you do?

Drink booze, played vidya, read manga

>Does it come with a happy ending?

Fapped a few times


3eb37e (2) No.311133>>311140

>>311108

>Lust just tends to come first, love is the thing you do after the dust settles

That's exactly what was called disgusting in the first place. It's 3DPD-style thinking.

And why would you even want to wife a girl so slutty she's willing to fuck anyone she thinks smells good?


5d38a5 (1) No.311138

File (hide): 377c6a59cf56980⋯.jpg (147.18 KB, 886x1002, 443:501, 1465843568867-0.jpg) (h) (u)

>>311047

>My red onion waifu.


4ff25d (4) No.311140>>311222

>>311133

Maybe I figured out it was more than just because I smell good :^)

Maybe it's because she loves me :^)


af467a (1) No.311141

beats me who i'd do it with, but i'd probably break into her home in the early morning and drag her down into the woods to fish for river trout and scavenge for skinwalker meat


1cba0a (1) No.311144

File (hide): 058a50a9131a73c⋯.jpg (449.3 KB, 2700x3150, 6:7, 8Wryrh.jpg) (h) (u)

My date is my waifu ofcourse. We'd get the date by her being real

I'd take her to see dolphins and other cool marine animals at a aquarium or I'd take her out for dinner somewhere. Maybe both. I hope I'd would come with a happy ending because I want to marry my waifu and start a family with her. I want to work a fulltime job so I can support her, seeing her when I'd come home would make my day.


8d7c38 (1) No.311160

File (hide): 3fd1f25f7b9cfe7⋯.jpeg (5.97 KB, 276x183, 92:61, onion.jpeg) (h) (u)

>>311047

SOMEBODY


83af56 (1) No.311186

>>311016 (OP)

>Who is your date?

Domesticated grapesnek

>How do you two get the date?

Money

>Where do you go?

Start with a local theater that serves real food. Go to a special bar afterwards

>What do you do?

See a movie. Either something good or something bad to make fun of. Followed by going to a bar that actually serves in indoor jacoozies.

>Does it come with a happy ending?

Drunk and sweaty after stewing a snek in 90+ america heat points


5e0d80 (1) No.311208

>>311016 (OP)

Why would my ideal first date not come with a happy ending tbh?


8ced18 (2) No.311222>>311225 >>311266

>>311140

You are the epitome of what is wrong with modern "romance"

>we fucked one day because shes a slut and im a meathead.

>fuck it lets get married because sure why not you seem nice and youre hot.

You are worse than any snake-lover could ever be


2bd26d (1) No.311225>>311226

>>311222

>implying that snake lovers are bad

Why are they bad?


8ced18 (2) No.311226>>311272

>>311225

>dies when you leave the ac on too long

>leaves shedded skin chips all over the place

>literally useless outside of the bedroom

>snake lovers bump threads with off-topic replies

Fuck outta here non-draconic reptillian scum


287803 (1) No.311229>>311282

>>311047

>Be red oni

>talking to boy you like

<"H-hey anon what's your favorite kind of monster girl"

>"oh, thats easy, its"

>Red oni red oni red oni red oni

>"red"

>YESYESYESYESYESYES

>"oni-"

>it's happening.jpg

>"-ons"

>wut

>red onion rolls passed you and he runs after it

>"Hey! wait up can i get your number?"

>wake up

>next day husband asks you why you threw out all the onions

<"I WONT LET THEM STEAL YOU AWAY FROM ME"


4ff25d (4) No.311266>>311275 >>311283

>>311222

We fucked because we wanted to fuck, and we dated afterwards because I wanted to date afterwards. I could've been a real asshole and pushed her aside after I used her, but instead I went on to see if we could actually have a real relationship. It worked out just fine, its why we got married after we got our degrees and ended up having as many children as we had. It's unorthodox by traditional standards but its not that far-fetched from how it happens in the real world now.


a91c7f (1) No.311272

>>311226

>leaves shedded skin chips all over the place

You could apply the same logic to every beastman type monster and their hair

>literally useless outside of the bedroom

I don't think I get what yo mean by that without some elaboration. How is a lamia more useless than your regular person? Is it because they don't have special powers or something?


3eb37e (2) No.311275

>>311266

>it's fine to have meaningless casual sex because 3DPD does it

Why are you here?


a4ad49 (1) No.311282

File (hide): 1c614afed21c6f8⋯.png (300.86 KB, 800x1000, 4:5, top snek.png) (h) (u)


1b4e05 (2) No.311283>>311293

>>311266

In case you din't know, on chan boards, we discuss and support the opposite of what's popular and/or the social norm. Society is so fucked now that vanilla porn has been delegated to /d/ on cuckchan (the name is oddly fitting given how /h/ is swamped with ntr threads and defenders) and supporting traditional values of romance, dating, virginity and happy marriage is the main thing.

Secondly, your order is completely wrong. You don't fuck someone you meet, then take them out for food, to make up for it or to see if you're a match. Instead, you could just give her money. Wait, you can't do that because then it'd be whoring, now wouldn't it?

Anyway, here's my autism filled reply to someone who's obviously a troll, probably the same one who put up that ntr on the fox thread


bfa0ab (1) No.311293>>311403

>>311283

>We discuss what is popular

Except we don't we have a set of standards. We don't just talk about lowest common demoninator BS that normalfags like to talk about. even /v/ of all fucking boards has a modicum of fucking taste when it comes to video games, otherwise kosherwatch and other shitty games would actually be discussed there instead of rightfully shouted down.

Even if tomorrow if everyone shared our tastes we'd still be into this shit.

>Chan boards

Reminds me back during the MN9 fiasco some outsider trying to raid the threads called /pol/ a sub-chan


2e2ced (2) No.311297

File (hide): e862517bc3d5010⋯.jpg (31.6 KB, 257x212, 257:212, COOL GUY.jpg) (h) (u)


1b4e05 (2) No.311403

>>311293

>we discuss the OPPOSITE of what's popular

Read more carefully, faggot




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