/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

As I dangle here two inches off the ground shoved against my locker by the front of my hoodie in an empty hallway, I realize I was dead fucking wrong.

The Oni sneers at me with a shit-eating grin on her face, her piercing gold eyes shifting left and right to checks for potential witnesses. Once we both realize I'm alone, she snickers to herself victoriously. "Well, well, well… Bad time to be late, huh?" Her voice is feminine, yet poised and commanding. It doesn't fit her apparent strength at all.

"Look, I don't want any trouble-"

"Really? I'm running a special on that!" She interrupts, reinforcing the grip in her right hand while holding the other out, palm up, her soft hot-pink skin pleading for something crisp and green. "Five bucks and I don't leave you hanging upside down in your locker."

"Five bucks? I-I don't have five bucks!" I reply, my voice somewhat strained with stress.

The oni quirks a brow, bringing her empty hand to her sharp, brown bangs and setting them behind her ear. She cants her head with a cute little bob of her ponytail, baring her sharp fangs in a disbelieving smile. "Really? That's too bad… Surely you've got something you can give me of equal value? I'm a nice girl, I don't mind bartering."

I shake my head. "I don'- Hey!"

Her hand snakes into the front pocket of my hoodie, groping my abdomen and searching the tube for anything of value. The smile fades on her face as she finds nothing, then goes for my jean pocket. She pads both of my legs down. She grows increasingly frustrated as each pocket turns up empty, all except for one.

My heart sinks as her face glows, her hand drawing out my Game Boy. She turns it over, watching the glorious screen gleam in the light. "Hohoho, now what's this here? Some kinda phone?"

I scoff, disgusted by her stupidity. "No? It's a gameboy."

Her eyes lid a little, my sourness spoiling her mood. She slips my gameboy into the schoolbag slung by her side and winds back her fist, her knuckles coming in at mach 1 right for my unguarded stomach. As a sickening shock rolls through my core, I hit the ground. I roll over onto my side and curl into a ball, groaning. "What… The fuck?"

She places her hands on her hips, looking down her nose at me. "That was for the shitty tone you just gave me. You treat a lady with respect, got that?"

I groan incoherently, turning off my stomach and onto my back, son of a fucking bitch that hurt…

She lifts her foot slightly, her skirt flaring open to expose the whites of her undergarments. "'Yes, ma'am.'" She says slowly, narrowing her eyes.

"Y-yes, ma'ahm." I say slowly between my teeth.

"Atta boy! You're lucky I didn't bust your balls like a balloon. Now, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is pretty expensive, so you're covered for the week~. Aren't I such a nice girl? Don't be late now!" She, thank god, lowers her foot without injuring me, skipping off to class.

I needed a few moments to recouperate. I laid there, considering my losses and mourning the death of my year's good start. As the bell tolls mechanically through the halls, I pick up my crippled body and stagger off to homeroom.

Due to my nature, I tend to sit as far back as possible to avoid attention. My desk is always somewhere in the final row, preferrably near a corner. At least this way, I can ignore the morning announcements to consider my plan. I need a way to get my gameboy back. Do you have any idea how much those things cost? I saved up my allowance for months in anticipation and even borrowed from friends. I'll never make that much money again in my life!

I'm startled by a cough beside me, someone dropping a slip of folded paper onto my desk. I'd offer to give it back, but I noticed a peculiar 'Read Me!' printed in feminine handwriting on both sides of the square.

My interest is piqued, so I unfold the paper. The cursive writing is pleasant, but a bit hard to read for someone with a 'C' in english. It says; "Dear Seth, I watched your device get stolen this morning and have an offer for you. I can get her to return the stolen item in exchange for a favor that you would owe me. Though this favor is somewhat ominous, I promise it will not exceed the worth of the item and labor to retrieve it. Love, Gilda."

Well, that's certainly convenient, but I don't know if I trust owing a random onlooker anything. Maybe I can just get it back from her the old fashioned way? Stand up to her, demand it back. I could also try stealing it from her while she isn't looking, if only I knew where she was. I could also tell the counselor. Finally, I can just forget about it and buy a new one. What should I do?

1>Fight back! Stand up to her

2>Take it easy, stealthily snag it back from her

3>Ask the counselor for help

4>Forget about it, buy a new one

5>Take up Gilda's offer

>5>Take up Gilda's offer

5 is the most interesting. Let's go with that.

>what do

Take option 5 and go with gilda. Though I have a feeling we may get involved in some stuff later on right now we just need the game boy back. But what we need in the long term is to find a way to become feared/respected enough that we will no longer be bothered by the majority of the monster girls. Physically speaking we'll be weaker than most monsters so our only other options would be to be intelligent to the point we could tutor some in exchange for physical protection or to run whatever underground stuff that goes on at this school.

>>292375 (OP)

>fat, excommunicated loser in a hawaiian shirt

>talking shit about ronnie and Whomp!

>>292375 (OP)

it'd be nice if we knew what monstergirl Gilda was, but let's go with #5 anyway

>>292401

"we" being us, the readers

>>292402

What monster species would we NOT take this offer from?

>>292401

>it'd be nice if we knew what monstergirl Gilda was, but let's go with #5 anyway

MC doesn't know, so neither do you.

So instead of of a dragon, the oni is the waifu we're aiming for, correct? Also, option 5.

>>292406

A chesire

>>292376

#5

>>292413

Probably a danuki. Maybe a ratatoskr from what little we know of this situation.I would be ok with this actually. Who doesn't want fluffy calves and a MASSIVE fluffy tail?

>>292415

I guess? I mean I hope there's more options personally but it's Gexx's story.

>>292376

What are you, a pussy? I go with fighting back against Asian Shrek and take back our gameboy is it a gameboy color?

>>292376

Option 6: Grow some common sense

My first question is why the fuck is this allowed to happen?

>getting shit stolen

>getting beat in public

>doing nothing

Tell a peer with authority and work this out with them. Find the oni-chink's parents and make them beat the shit out of her. If not sue for assult because last time I checked, being physically abused is illegal.

Worst case scenario we fight; and if that happens, we gouge out the eyes and claim self defense. blood for the blood god

>>292421

>who dosen't want fluffy tail, fluffy calves, economic death if you do much as look at someone else, massive debt, and cute looks?

Never trust a like anon. You know this.

>>292436

Oh sure, suck aaaalllll the fun out of the story.

I bet you're fun at tabletop games.

>>292436

>Tell a peer with authority and work this out with them.

I think that's just the counselor option?

>>292436

It complacency, the mentality is as long is not me. Also, knowing schools and problem solving skill, those two things don't meet when it comes to the staff. There also the chance that her parents won't believe you and around 85%. Ok fighting is completely off the table since story twiggy boy here probably is unaware of oni weaknesses and he a around below to average strength. Can't sue anyone if no one is willing to come forward also it expensive, retard, the guy here could barely pony up for the game boy.

If someone is willing to help you, go for it, not alot you can do, since I assume the staff is public school tier of incompetent. thye MC physical attribute lead me to believe, he would make noise and he does seen to have a presence.

tdlr 5

>>292376

>Antisocial

>Bullied

>Gets ass kicked and just lies down and takes it

>Wearing a hoodie

Secret Option E

Return home and make a post on your favorite image board:

>Some of you guys are alright, don't go to school tomorrow

Seriously though, option 5

And are you actually Jexx or a different guy?

>>292449

Different guy, the jexx thing is moreso a joke because it's a similar setting

5>Take up Gilda's offer

I stare blankly at the blackboard as the teacher drones on about the announcements, the details falling out of my ears. With my hands folded pensively in front of my mouth, I stew beneath my hood on my options.

Telling a counselor or getting the law involved would have me branded a pussy in an instant. Not only that, I didn't write my name on the plastic battery cover in black sharpie, so there's no way she couldn't just say she bought it.

A perfectly good answer is foremost before me, I pick up the piece of paper and unfold it for a cursory read again, noting the fact the service rendered will require a favor. However, that favor is future-Seth's problem to deal with. I can just ignore it, like homework and chores.

I'm broken from my trance by the eight-note tone of the bell, students around me frantically rising from their seats and hustling into the halls. The morning is lively with chatter and footsteps muted by the walls. I stand up from my desk as if I'm going to follow, but lag behind a little to try and find this 'Gilda'.

As luck would have it, a girl stays behind with me. She sits at her desk, looking between the paper and myself with tightly sealed lips and a hint in her piercing, grey eyes. She has dark chocolate brown hair featuring framing bangs and a long princess' braid that runs down her back all the way to the hip. I knew it was a fucking danuki, that fluffy tail tucked through the hole in her chair and the triangular ears are a dead giveaway.

She's dressed down in typical yuppie style, a dark knee-length skirt to match a loose and flirty blouse. It easily meets and exceeds the school's requirements for non-uniform clothing. Her big, puffy calves are bulbed up by a pair of shiny, black dress shoes. She also has quite a lot of gold jewelry, rings, bangles, and big hoop earrings.

I approach her desk once the teacher is sufficiently distracted and sit down on an empty one ajacent to her, holding out the note to her. "Are you uh, Gilda?"

She nods sagely and gives me a smile, revealing clunky and offputting braces. She looks up at me as well, revealing the ominous shadow cast by her long, hawkish nose. "Mhmm! That would be me. I assume you accept the offer in the note?" She asks, waiting with bated breath.

I remind myself anything she expects from me is a problem for future-Seth and that I just want my gameboy. "Yeah, I'd appreciate the help."

"Alrighty then! You'll have your device delivered to your locker before lunchtime. Is that adequate enough?"

Before lunch? Nice! She may look a little weird but results like that can't be ignored. "Yeah, that's fine. I'm Seth by the way."

She holds out her hand. "I already know your name. I've read the roster."

"Oh uh… Cool I guess. Well I'm gonna get to class, so… Bye." I pull my hood a little further over my head and hop off the desk, hurriedly making my way to the hall before any more conversation can be made.

I look over my shoulder just barely once I'm at the door, tentatively inspecting the danuki as she stands from her chair and tugs her blouse into place. The slightest sheen of gold catches my attention, a necklace previously obscured by her shirt- A star of david.

I make my way to first period, pleased to know that my gameboy will be returned to me in a timely manner. It's english class- which is one of my favorite classes. We usually just read a book, which means I can safely play my gameboy and ignore the lesson but I don't have it this time. So instead, I sit there and lay my face in my crossed arms, lulling myself to sleep by the droning-on of the assigned reading.

I'm awoken again by the toll of the bell, rising with the class and shuffling out with the rest. I took a trip to my locker to unload my books, I realize half-way through I left my copy of the novel on my desk. I didn't want it to get snagged, so I hurried back and retrieved it. On my way back to the locker, the halls were emptying rather quickly.

As I pass one of the forking halls, I notice a group of girls. Normally I wouldn't care, but their contrast had peaked my interest.

The first girl dressed fashionably, that much I could tell. Her school-issued uniform is accented with a pink tie, a fancy leather belt with plenty of charms and stuffed animals between it and her school bag. Most notably though, her short, platinum-blonde bun is defiantly frilled, held in place by a golden-trimmed rose with a trio of ornaments. Her legs are clad in thin, seductive stockings and her fingers have alluring, long pink nails. Her lips and eyeshadow match the vibrant color, which contrasts well with her tan. Her friends almost directly copy her style, having the same ornaments and hairstyles- though they lack the fancy rose.

The oddity is in the fourth girl. She's in a long coat with a grey beanie pinning down her ears. Her hair is obviously dyed an bright blue. and instead of a skirt she wears extremely baggy pocketed jeans. I can tell from her paws and shoe style that she's an anubis.

She looks away from the girls in a manner I know all too well.

"Oh and don't even get me started on the hair, Chloe. I didn't even know Hot Topic sold blueberry jam." The girl with the rose in her hair cackles behind a hand, the other two girls bracing their stomachs as they berate her with their laughter- one even points.

She rolls her eyes and tries to step away, but is shoved back into place by one of the girls. Chloe braces herself against the lockers. "Fuck off, Courtney! I don't care what you think, you're gonna make me late!"

"Late for what, the linkin park concert?" The girl who stopped her snickers, getting another giggle out of the trio as a whole.

"Hey~ I've got an idea. How about we take Chloe to the girl's bathroom and give her a make-over?" The third girl suggests, grabbing Chloe's coat.

"Let go of me!" She cries out, slapping the blonde's hand with her paw and scooting away, she's quickly beset on all sides by the gasping girls, furious expressions on their face.

"Oh yeah, she's definitely getting a make-over…" Courtney says with a vile, bitchy tone that makes me cringe.

I could easily just walk away and not get involved, after all nobody's noticed me and there's no reason for me to risk myself. On the other hand, I know more than anyone how much this sucks, shouldn't I do something about it? I could get the teachers, or just bitch her out myself. The damage might be done by the time they find her. A make-over doesn't sound too pleasant. Maybe I can distract them?

>1) Fuck this, not my problem

>2) Play the Hero yourself

>3) Be subtle about it, distract them

>4) Get an adult to help

>>292460

>a Star of David

Oh gods what have we done?! Not only is she a danuki but also a jewess?!!!!! We're fucking screwed! As for the rest of our day I think we should just lay low and plot our rise to the top of this school over the course of the year.

>>292465

Ok didn't see the last post there, 8chan must be screwing up again. We should help the girl in a subtle manner via option 3.

>>292468

Yes, incase anybody didn't notice, 502 errors out the ass.

>>292469

Seems any post made within the last few hours is getting wiped. This is gonna be a hassle I think.

>>292470

Refresh, all the posts are still there.

>>292461

Secret option E

ACTIVATE S.P.E.R.G PROTOCOL

Solving

Problems

Entirely by

Robusting our

Grief

>>292461

>>292473

This. We've got a fresh can of autism and it's time to open the fucker.

SECRET OPTION E

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>292461

Anubis is TOP TIER WAIFU MATERIAL

that being said 3 would be best.

>>292473

>>292478

Or this, actually.

should we roll? imma roll.

>>292461

3

>>292375 (OP)

what a faggot name

>>292489

It's derived from a faggot so that would make sense.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>292483

The wise thing would 3 but i wanna see 2, i will roll, lower than 10 got with 2, higher than 10 let go with 3.

>>292461

We are going to sperg like the autists we are and fire our REEEEEEE beam like it's never been fired before

So I'm all aboard the secret option E train

SECRET OPTION E: SATANIC SHENANIGANS PROTOCOL

I stare on in disgust as Chloe is grabbed by the hair and arm by Courtney's goons, their manicured fingers rougly tugging the dyed strands and twisting her face into a defensive curdle. It boils my fucking blood.

I was going to approach this subtly. I was going to spare them. No more. As I creep closer over the chaos, I feel the call of the void. It demands of me a harsher punishment for such vile whores. I find myself right behind her quite soon, my footfalls alerting the twins to my presence. They stop shaking Chloe and look past their leader.

An awkward silence fills the hall, my spidery fingers snaking their way up her back and clenching her shoulder. She freezes and spins around in an instant, facing me completely caught off-guard.

"Who the hell are you?" She snaps in an expected bitchy tone, rearing her head back away from me as disgust crosses her features, but she can't escape my superior grasp.

I let the silence stew for a moment, collecting my anger to give me nerve. I inhale like a lich, wheezing as my hood casts a darkness over my eyes. "Your wOrst fUcking nIGHTmare!" My voice cracks. I quickly grab her face, her hands instinctively grabbing my wrists.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME CRE- EEP!!" She squirms and turns her head away as my tongue languidly strokes her cheek and my eyes cross. The taste of her skin is bitter and plain, but it shocks her still with her jaw open. I begin to flicker my tongue across her flesh, slurping and murring. My heart feels like it's about to combust.

"You belhhhong to me, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" I screech in a tone befitting the dark lord, coughing with tears in my eyes and desperately fighting my burning throat to flitter my tongue as I wheeze as much air as possible and push my nose into her cheek, reinforcing my grasp on the sides of her face. Her guards can do nothing but cringe at the fate of their queen.

She screams directly by my ear, creating a deafening ring only overshadowed by the nervewracking pulse of my balls being blugeoned. I'm kneed not once, but twice, tumbling into her with a groan and falling to my hands and knees.

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!" She repeats, sniffling back tears and hyperventilating whilst fanning her face and hopping in place frantically. Her friends immediately come to her side and start urgently rushing her to the girl's bathroom, consoling her with sidelong hugs and comments of complete confusion.

As they vacate the halls, I manage to gain enough composure to sit up and look at the anubis. She stands with her body pressed up against the locker flat as a board, her chin receeding into her neck with her poor attempt to phase through solid matter to escape me. I quickly try to calm myself, maybe a joke will let her know it was part of my master plan?

"I've never kissed a girl before!" I crack out, immediately filling me with dread. Why the fuck would I say that?

"Uhhh…." Chloe drones nervously, sinking against the lockers, looking left and right for a path of escape.

"I-I mean, I'm Seth and I saw everything!" I reach out and grab her baggy jeans, causing her to tighten up in place and visibly cringe. Oh god, why can't I turn it off? "I THOUGHT I COULD TURN IT OFF!!"

"W-What!? Turn what off?" She asks, parting her legs to try and break my grip as she slides down the locker, tucking her chest in and slapping the metal loudly to try and scramble away, but I can't loosen my grip.

Fuck! I said it out loud! "THE SPAGHETTI!" I cackle to myself at the inside joke. "I-IT'S… HAHAHA, SPILLING OUT MY FUCKING POCKETS HAHAH AND…" At this point I'm crying laughing, my mouth wide open. "AND THEY DON'T STOP COMIN' AND THEY DON' T STOP COMIN' AND THEY DON'T STOP COMIN'!" I repeat over and over again. Somehow, I can't stop laughing. Every giggle makes my balls throb with devastating aftershocks.

"Dude… What the fuck are you on and where do I get some?" Chloe asks and even chuckles a little, overcome with disbelief. "Look, I-If you need to go to the infirmary, I'll take you just- please calm down!"

"Y-You too…" I mumble, my tears now small puddles on the floor.

I spent the second period in the infirmary with Chloe, slowly recovering from my nervous breakdown. Since I had already calmed down, I didn't seem sick or in need of any treatment, so they didn't even call my dad about it. They gave me a pass for the class and a cup of water.

Chloe nervously sits in the shitty plastic chair beside mine just outside the nurse's office. There's an rift between her that only the slurps of a plastic water cup can fill. Suddenly, she turns her head to me and inhales as if bearing bad news. "Okay, what the fuck did you do, man?"

"Eh?" I ask, still slurping the cool water, ignoring the shivers on the roof of my mouth.

Well, I can atleast be clean with her. "I didn't like the way they were treating you and just, couldn't hold it back anymore I guess. I wanted her to suffer, and uh, nothing else came to mind."

She cants her head and shakes it a little, looking at me like I'm a goddamn madman, and maybe she's right. "Still… She could tell a teacher and get you in huge trouble for sexual assault o-or, even sicc the shitty fucks on the sports team to break every single one of your bones."

"Well, how was I supposed to know she was the most popular girl in school? All I know is she was treating you like a punching back and its about time someone gave her a make-over."

This actually makes Chloe smile. She relaxes and giggles a little, shaking her head. "Yeah, I'd sure like to see her mascera run red. Next time, rupture her stupid eyeballs with a teaspoon, alright?"

"That's a bit dark…"

"Not as dark as trying to eat her fucking soul dude!" She jests, nudging me with her elbow. Ow. "By the way uh, I'm Chloe, Chloe Roof."

"Seth Pastel." I return the name, nodding in acknowledgement to her.

"Pff, with the shit you just pulled, Seth doesn't really fit. I'm just gonna go ahead and dub thee, bitch-bane." She leans back in her chair, tucking her paws up under the chair. "Y'know, you're not the crazy fucker I thought you'd be. I was pretty much convinced you were on some crazy ass drugs or something."

"Nope… Just really stupid." I chuckle at the self-deprecating humor, but it doesn't quell the pain. I know I've fucked up. It's only a matter of time before what I just did comes and bites a hole in my ass.

"Well, third period's gonna start soon and if I skip again, my parents will have an assfit. So, I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, see-ya."

This didn't turn out all that bad. I got to skip math and head straight into science, the 2nd most boring class in school. Once again, I boredly stare at the teacher as she blubbers on about random types of rocks and chemicals and all this crap for the test. I can't be bothered, all I can think about is how badly I fucked up. Courtney doesn't look like the sort of girl to cut her losses and I really don't need more problems but here I am, playing the hero king of the virgins style.

After class, I head to my locker to exchange books. When I open it, I'm pleasantly surprised to see my gameboy! It's in pristine condition, just like when it left my pocket. There's only one catch, a note on the screen.

"A deal's a deal, Seth! You owe me a big one! At retail, this "Gameboy Color" went for around $80. Adjusting for my finder's fee, you owe me $107. I don't expect this all at once, of course. I'll be expecting weekly payments of your debt with a minimum of $15. For every week you're late, I'll add a 0.05% interest rate. Pleasure doing business with you! Love, Gilda."

God fucking damnit.

With my gameboy returned at a price, I head to lunch. Stupid jewish danuki, what sort of monstrosity is that anyway? It's like a super weapon.

As usual, I arrive late to the cafeteria. Now this is by far my favorite 'class', especially on a monday when they serve chicken tenders. The question is, once I get my meal where am I gonna sit? Same place as always, or something new?

>1) Hide away in a hallway or something

>2) Hide in plain sight, sit and don't talk

>3) Go to a teacher's room to eat

>4) Find Chloe and eat with her

>5) Find Oni and eat with her, why though?

>6) Find Gilda and eat with her, also why though?

>7) Find Courtney and eat with her, fucking why though?

>>292514

>6) Find Gilda and eat with her, also why though?

We have to negotiate.

>>292514

If anybody is going to appreciate our spergtacular personality it's going to be an autism wan. Option 4 for eating with Chloe.

>>292514

>Find Chloe and eat with her

I go with this >>292516 first and once we're done negotiating we go with option 4.

Find Chloe and eat with her

>>292514

6) Negotiate.

Ask her if we could do labor to pay for the gameboy instead. Even better, ask if we can help her with any odd jobs and such to pay for the gameboy- it could pay off later and it'll give us more stuff to do.

>>292584

6, just t see charm our way out of the deal, or at least see if Gilda isn't in cahoots with the onis. Now that i think about it, there just this itching suspicion.

Oh so that's her goal. The danuki wants us. So we must resist with all of our might. The jew fears the frog!. But since we have no frog girls around I say we eat with the closest thing to an Egyptian frog god and sit with Chloe. She can surely help us out with our jew problem.

>6) Find Gilda and eat with her, also why though?

I just talked to Chloe, it'd be a bit weird to hunt her down immediately after for lunch, doubly so when I'm already in deep shit debt. With that in mind, I make it my goal to find Gilda and settle this gameboy problem first.

I get in one of the lines and meander through the choices in absolute melancholy, putting together a decent enough meal. Thanks to keeping the money in the heel of my sock, I manage to afford lunch even when facing oni thieves and danuki loansharks. Learned that from last year.

I take my tray and scout out the tables, trying to find the one Gilda fancies for herself. The search doesn't take long since she's a distinctive person. To my complete despair, she's taken a seat awkwardly close to the popular girls.

I quietly approach the full table and clear my throat, drawing Gilda's attention to my shrouded features. "U-Uhm…"

Courtney immediately glares daggers in my direction, along with the rest of her gaggle of cocksuckers. They don't say anything, just passively pass on their aggression from afar. Something's off about it, it's threatening, at least more than it should be. Sweat crawls contrastingly cold down my back, and I have the urge to break their intimidating gaze as I wait for Gilda to notice me. "Gi… Gilda?" I repeat.

The danuki finally finds me standing across from her and beams a knowing smile, "Seth! Hey~ Did you find your gameboy easily enough?"

I nod as I approach her table, forcing my knee between two of the girls to try and get a seat. They don't seem to be in on Courtney's crew so they shift over enough for me to have respectable room. "Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I got your note…"

"A deal's a deal, Mr. Pastel. I explained the terms of the retrieval clearly before the transaction." She says firmly, smiling like a snake.

"It's not that… I'm gonna pay you back, I just don't have money." I admit. "If I did, she wouldn't have taken my gameboy. She woulda just taken my cash."

She nods, her grin widening as she fails to feign ignorance. "That's quite the predicament. Thankfully, there's plenty of other ways you can work off your debt~." She leans forward across the table, smoothing out her gaze with bedroom eyes as she brushes her fluffy calf up against my outstretched leg.

I snort up a little bit of milk, but manage to keep it down and retain my composure. Egads, I knew it was the jewess' plan all along!

Maybe I can play it ignorant? "Yeah, I was hoping you might have some odd-jobs or favors to cover the debt."

"Oh… Well sure! I'm sure there's something I'll need done soon. Do you have a phone yet?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't."

Her smile begins to fade, her judging eyes trailing over my shoddy appearance as I dump my mountain of ketchup packets onto a single tender. "Oh, okay. I'll just put a note in your locker and pay you per performance then."

"Sounds fine to me but uh… Can I ask you a couple questions, Gilda?"

She nods, taken aback by the personality in my voice. She seems more the business oriented type. "Sure, what do you need to know?"

"How did you get my gameboy back from that Oni?" I ask plainly, slurping up a tender and opening my glorious chocolate milk, the crisp crack of a carton in the afternoon air is orgasmic.

She giggles cutely to herself, shielding her bracers with her fingers. "I-It was nothing really, I just talked it out with Helga and negotiated for it back. She owes me a couple favors anyway~. I'm quite resourceful!" She prides herself, turning up her chin and flashing that sinful, gold amulet once more.

"Nice, I guess. So, what's with the necklace?" I try to ask subtly, not wanting to make myself sound like an asshole at lunch with the girl I owe money to.

She looks down at her modest bust, bouncing up the gold chain and fufu-ing at my question. "It's a star of david! My family's Jewish. I go to temple and get to meet a lot of my dad's business friends there in the parking lot. On my Bat Mitzvah, my bubbe gave it to me as a gift along with a lot of my other jewelry and a couple hundred dollars. It was a fun time, I was able to get my first car used at a very affordable price and even some stocks running. Not a lot of people get to start stocks so young. With compound interest rates…"

Her babbling slowly fades to background static as I chomp on my tender, this can't be fucking real, can it? This is the sort of joke you see in movies, not real life.

Eventually we stop talking about her investments, not that I was paying any attention, and both finish our meals. My next class is social studies, so I go ahead and swap books again. On my way to my locker, I notice an abnormally long hair hanging from my hoodie. I try pulling it off, but it doesn't seem to end! It takes me a whole thirty seconds infront of my locker to wind the whole thing up and toss it- even then the coiled strand keeps sticking to my finger.

This wouldn't be worth mentioning, but it kept happening. In social studies, I found the hair dangling over the metal support of my small desk in the back of the classroom, and another stuck to the edge of the window, billowing in the air conditioning. I can't stand shit being messy and nothing's messier than cloggy hair, so of course I'm spending half the period sneaking around the class trying to pull off the hair.

"Sseth!" Miss Alexis hisses, narrowing her reptile gaze at me.

"Y-Yeah?" I stammer, the class suddenly turning in their chairs to look at me fingering the cill of the window.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm uh…-"

"Not paying attention?" She raises one of her brows and pouts after she interrupts me, challenging my would-be excuse.

Instinctively not wanting to be caught, I argue the point. "Of course I was paying attention! I was just cleaning the window."

"Oh? Then maybe you can answer a very simple question for me…" Her grape tail slithers between the desks, carrying her judgementally cross-armed stance directly before me, looming above with a dominant countenance that staggers me against the window. "Tell the class, Seth, what convention secured the Mamono-America-Nippon Education Agreement? What year did this happen?"

There's a dead silence between us, I have no fucking clue what she's talking about. Just then, I see a flash of white. A paw with pink pads and snow fur waves behind Ms. Alexis, bringing my attention to a small piece of paper. It reads; "Geneva, 1496"

Since it's my only bet, I blurt out; "Geneva Convention, 1488!"

Then, the paper drops from the paw and an effeminate laughter fills the room from the girl with white fur. She bangs her desk as hard as she can, urging the rest of the class to join in with a mocking laughter at my answer. It quickly dies down, but Ms. Alexis is looking at me like she's tasked with explaining who's on first.

"No… The Geneva Convention of the 1946 didn't happen in the Renaissance Era, nor did it have anything to do with the MANEA. Well, Seth, since you're more interested in cleaning, I'll put it to good use! You can stay after class and wipe these windows down, inside and out, under my supervision. Maybe focusing on such a diligent act will help you remember. For those of you who also weren't paying attention, it's very simple. The MANEA is how our schools are designed for a fair mixed-species environment, and the Geneva Convention was about the Second World War…."

The details fade as I sulk back to my desk to ignore the rest of the class. All that's on my mind is how I just got played into being late, again, because I have to clean the windows.

Later, Ms. Alexis watches from her desk as I apply some windex to the windows. At the very least she didn't actually make me clean the outside since that would take too long.

I return the rag and windex to her desk and stuff my hands in my pockets, exhaustion painted on my face. "All done, your windows are clean."

"Good… So can you tell me what year the MANEA happened?"

I shake my head. "Sorry, I forgot…"

Ms. Alexis slaps her desk with her open palms, raising off the ground with her terrifyingly long tail. I'm forced to look up at her, a lump in my throat. "Seth! You can't keep doing this.. Stuff!" She barely avoids cursing. "You have a 71 in my class! You're nearly failing!"

"Yeah, but I'm not actually failing right?"

"T-That's not the point! You need to be taking this information more seriously!" She settles back down with a rattle, coiling herself into a chair. "You're a good kid, Seth, we both know that. I know you keep to yourself but you can't daydream all the time. This stuff is vital to your future! You'll be in college soon, you need these grades to get a good diploma that will be worth something!"

Once again, I'm not really paying attention. For one, her purple skin is such a pretty color- especially on those huge tits of hers. I'm pretty sure she wears a push-up, there's no way they're that round…

"SETH!" She hisses, and I jolt to look back at her.

"Huh?" I ask, definitely feeling the shame of getting distracted again.

"Okay… I can see, I'm going to have to teach you how to value this class- Personally." The way she hisses that last word probably wasn't intended to be charged in any manner, but I can't help but think about it. "I'm going to recommend you for private tutoring in your core classes. Have you chosen electives yet?"

I shake my head.

"Okay, well we might place tutoring as one of your electives if you can't shape up. You have to take the initiative, Seth. I can lead you to water but I can't make you drink it. So, after school today, why don't you come to my room again and we'll work something out?"

I guess it wouldn't hurt to get better grades. All I do when I get home is read comics and play games, I don't have a job or anything important at the moment, but do I really give a shit? I've got shop next, that'll be as boring as ever, so best I make a stalling decision now.

>1) Deny her offer and board the SS C Minus

>2) Take up her offer and meet up with her after school

>3) Say you'll come but never show up, getting the immediate gratification of commitment without the work.

>4) Flirt with Ms. Alexis hardcore

>>292617

4, 2 and 5, in that order.

5 is "run out of the room arms outstretched behind you while making airplane noises".

>>292617

Take her up on the offer

>>292621

Exactly this.

>>292617

>not immediately flirting with the grep snek

unless someone better comes around before we get too far into the teacher/student thing, i say go with #4 constantly, even after the story is updated again

>>292617

flirt with teacher snek

>>292621

This suggestion

Lmao why did I even put 3 other options right?

>>292617

>4) Flirt with Ms. Alexis hardcore

This.

Unpopular vote:#1

>>292617

This one >>292621

>>292716

>>292834

Sage you faggots

>>292621

This but without the Naruto run

>>292621

I was going to go against this but the addition of the naruto running makes this the only sane choice. Going with this anon

>>292617

4, 2, in that order.

Look her straight in the eye and go off in a extremely detailed plan about how you're going to buy and own the entirety of McDonalds and how you're going to slowly- but surely- make the entire company black and then leave last minute so you can watch the fireworks as the company goes down under, citing Gilda's stock rambling and that one time McDonalds gave you spicy chicken nuggets instead of normal chicken nuggets, the bastards.

>>292621

After that spaghetti, do this.

>>292617

We dont want to end up looking retarded.

Option #2

>4) Flirt with Ms. Alexis hardcore | >2) Take up her offer and meet up with her after school

Hey, any chance to get closer to Ms. Alexis and the twins is time well spent. I think I'll take up her offer, but not for the tutoring. Well, maybe a little tutoring would be alright but not the whole time! I've got to butter her up a little, make sure to set the mood in her mind.

"Seth?" She asks, jolting me back to reality.

"Sorry?"

"There goes the gravity of the situation, you weren't paying attention again!" She scolds me.

"Yeah, I was just thinking." I reach down toward the golden plaque on her desk, her name engraved in black on the small prism fold. I firmly grasp it and bring it up for a closer look, appreciating how it glimmers in the fluorescent lights of the classroom.

She sighs, placing a hand on her forehead and blowing her lips in exhasperation. I bet she gives amazing blowjobs. "Well, you need to get to your next class. I'll write you a late pass." She grabs a note off her desk and a nearby pen, scribbling the beautiful cursive script only a trained, sexy slithering woman could achieve. Am I seriously getting turned on by her handwriting?

"S-So, uh, Ms. Alexis?" I ask, holding out the plaque and pointing to it.

"Yes, Seth?"

"I noticed it says here you're single." I tap the 'Ms' part of the golden nameplate, then set it down.

…Her cheeks light up a little and she stifles a chuckle with her smile. Holy shit, she finds me funny! "Mhmm, I just haven't found Mr. Right I guess." She lets out another sigh as she puts the time, but no date on the pass.

"Cool… I really like your shirt." I point directly to her tits, and immediately regret doing so as she looks down at herself. Her chin nearly touches her neck and her eyes have trouble seeing past her slender cheeks to the mountain of boobage just above the desk. She's wearing an awesome yellow low-cut frilly thing, fuck if I know the professional name of it, but it makes her rack look so full.

She blushes and pulls up her top, though it doesn't really do much. Can't hide those melons. "Uh, thank you, Seth." Then, she goes right back to writing her signature.

I have to say it. I have to say it before the moment is gone. I gotta go through with it, but every time I open my mouth it's like it's full of cotton! My eyes are bulging out of my head, I can feel the lone sweat droplet creating a warpath across my brow. "A-Ahem." FUCK! JUST SAY IT!

She looks up at me, quirking a brow. "Seth, are you alright?"

"A-A-Aren't you gonna, write your number on that?" I say with a goofy smile.

She stares at me for a solid five seconds, the ticks counted on the analog clock on the wall. "Seth, are you flirting with me?"

"No, you. I just want to own McDonalds some day." It's at this moment I loathe the terrible ideas in my head. The sweat begins to weigh my arms to my sides, I doubt I could run from this if I tried.

The silence is palpable. "You're a student and I'm a teacher…" She mumbles, turning over the slip and starting an area code. "So… Understand this is only if you need tutoring help."

"O-Okay." I stammer, watching the 10 digits unfold with dashes inbetween. No way…

She full-stops on the last number and hands me the note. I tremble with it in hand. That should have never fucking worked.

I run into the hallway and immediately deploy my arms. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwww! Activating thrusters!" I whisper-shout to myself under my hood, dribbling my lips and sprinting down the hall. Sometimes, this just makes me feel faster.

I turn a corner with a sharp incline of my arms and see Courtney walking down the hall alone. She sees my forearm whack her right in the face. I slide to a stop and turn around to see the blonde laying on her back grabbing her face. Shit! Why would I run in the hallways? Why do I never listen?!

"MY BAD!" I shout back at her as I run to shop as fast as my feet will carry me. I should've probably stopped and helped her but I'm already late!

"YOU FUCKING SPASTIC!" She calls over pained tears, fading into the background over my great escape.

I stop and catch my breath outside of shop class, turning the handle and entering into the noisy sound of saws and nails. Coach looks me dead in the eye and glares. "Seth! The hell have you been?"

"I was cleaning Ms. Alexis' windows." I blurt, holding up my late pass at a distance in hopes he won't bother with checking it. He walks over to me and angrily snatches the note, glaring at the signature. "Knowing your handwriting, you sure as hell didn't forge this." His voice is like angry gravel in a grinder, rough and masculine. "What's this number for."

Shit, I can't tell him it's Miss Alexis' number! "Suicide hotline!" I shout, the saws stop and everyone starts paying attention to me.

"Oh." Coach, as stonewalled as he is, really doesn't know how to handle that. He looks back at the note one last time, then hands it back to me. "Well, if you need to go to the counselor, just ask. We're starting the birdhouses today, so…" He pauses, as if just remembering something. "Actually, Seth. Why don't you work with someone else?"

"I'm fine, Coach. I can do my birdhouse on my own." I mutter.

"He can work with me, Mr. McGuirk!" A familiar voice calls. It's Chloe!

"Sure, whatever." He points to her. "Go make your birdhouse. Chloe, don't let him use the bandsaw!" He warns her, returning to helping other students around the room.

Chloe and I start collecting wood for our birdhouses and bringing them to our table.

"So, what was all that about?" Chloe asks.

"It's nothing." I mumble, staring at the pile of wood with absolutely no idea what I want to do. I guess I could make a triangle and call it an alpine house and get bullshit creativity points for less work.

"It's not nothing, man, I heard him." She pauses, looking down at the desk with a solemn expression, her tail wilting. "I've been feeling the same way, honestly."

"The same way?" I say, metaphorically chewing the bait.

"Yeah, my parents are annoying as hell, I don't really have anybody to talk to in or out of school. It's just, nobody would miss me if I disappeared tommorow, you know? And I wouldn't miss any of them either… It's not enough that they leave me alone, I've gotta get shoved into lockers and get my hat stolen and my hair made fun of."

I know exactly what she's talking about. "Yeah. It sucks."

She smiles a little, her fluffy little ears bouncing her beanie a little. "So, what do you want to make your bird house into?"

"I don't know, probably just something that'll pass."

"Oh." There's a pause as she adjusts her pile. It's full of tiny, perfectly carved pieces. "You hear about Morrowind?"

"Eh?" I ask, the name sounding vaguely familiar to me.

"It's coming out in like a year and a half dude, it's gonna be so sick! There's already some concept art in this magazine I got. There's like, mushroom houses and stuff. I think that's what I'm gonna make, something really cool and complex with little stairs and a working door and a feeder and stuff."

"Oh yeah, you sure you'll have enough time?"

"I already got all the pieces so yeah. I'm sure I can finish it. So I should probably get to work now, honestly." Her smile is bright as she collects her pieces and slathers pegs in glue. Her tail sways side to side ever so slightly while she works, pleasantly distracting me from carving my base.

By the end of shop, I've accomplished the base pieces of my alpine birdhouse. Chloe has constructed a bunch of tiny pieces that must be part of her master plan. I'm actually a little excited to see the end result.

As we're putting up our stuff in our bins, Chloe turns to me and puts her hands behind her back. "Hey, Seth, do you wanna hang out after school?"

"Huh? I don't know, I've got tutoring or something like that." I admit.

Her smile falls away, "Oh… Well, hold out your arm!"

I do as she says, and she rolls up my sleeve. She uses a little pen in her pocket to scribble down her number really quick, dotting it with a little stylized skull in her name.

"There! If you change your mind."

After shop, I had P.E. again. The only thing worth mentioning is the gym outfit is hot as fuck. I got to see that Oni again, running laps and giving me a bit of a stink eye as I sit on the bleachers. Coach didn't bother me that period, probably assumed I was feeling down because of my spaghetti spill in his class. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. I'm just lost in thought on what to do after school.

Next should be my elective and club, but due to some work on the school we've had to postpone signups. So that means today is the day. I watch from the bleachers as McGuirk and a couple others set up booths and chairs of the selections. What do I pick? Do I even bother?

ELECTIVES

>Home Ec/Cooking

>Art

>Drama

>Foreign Language (Japanese)

>Personal Finance

>Computer Science

>Sports

CLUBS

>Anime Club

>Math Club

>Gaming Club

>Music Club

>Art Club

*Seth can change clubs, but he can't change electives mid-semester. Only pick one of each and keep in mind they effect what sort of girls he meets and the frequency of running into them.

>>292903

>ELECTIVES

Home Ec/Cooking because we might meet a kikimora or a holstaur in the class also girls love a guy who can cook something that isn't microwaveable in 5 minutes or less

>CLUBS

>every single club is shite

might as well go with Gaming because then we could tell everyone how shit their taste in vidya is

>>292903

>Anime club

>Gaming club

>Art club

Stay the fuck away from all of these. Avoid this shit like the PLAGUE. Each one of these are SJW, Weeaboo, and redditor hotpaddies.

Music Club is probably run by the danuki, but still passable.

Thus, my vote is for the Math Club or Music Club.

We'll play the saxophone, tuba, or horn if we do it.

ELECTIVES:

>Home Ec/Cooking

We know we're going to be a housewife- lets get this out of the way first.

>Personal Finance

Gilda will be in this class, if not teaching it. Possibility.

>Drama/art/Foreign Language (Jap)

No.

>Computer Science

Possibility. Redditor faggots will either drop out or congregate to the corner of the room where they can do jack shit all day leaving people actually interested in computer science left. Really only just a safe option.

My vote is for Home Ec/Cooking, Personal Finance, or Computer Science.

>>292906

Why join a club when we know we'll hate everyone inside of it for being a pleb?

>>292909

because autism

I want to mention something relevant that hasn't been revealed in-story yet: This school is set ~2000s, so the clubs aren't SJW cancer yet.

>>292915

>"It's coming out in like a year and a half dude"

>pc version came out in May 1, 2002

>1 year-May 1, 2002 = May 1, 2001

>half in the quoted sentence must mean half a year, so 6 months

>6 months-May 1, 2001 = November 1, 2000

>>292917

Wow, I expected this autism tbh but not so soon. Yeah, that's about right.

>>292915

I'm mostly depressed it wasn't picked up on from the Morrowind reference. Kids these days.

>Elective

Computer Science.

>Club

We're the kind of guy who borrowed money to buy a gameboy color. Gaming.

>>292919

Why would he be picking his classes November?

Still voting for math club/music club. Gaming club is fine then, but wariness might be wise.

Also; Gameboy price at retail was 80~ dollars?

First off; the retail price in 1999 was 69.99 I believe. Accounting for inflation, it would be around 100~ dollars today.

>>292917

According to this anon, the year must be 2000 due to the Morrowind reference, which I completely fucking glossed over when I was doing the class thing, even though I tried to get a feel for the year.

If that was the case, the 69.99 dollar figure shouldn't really have jumped by ten dollars in just one year.

Another thing to consider is that about a year later the Advance would release.

The Danuki is scalping us. She increased the price without us knowing it.

Unless if we have the original Gameboy, in that case, a 80~ dollar figure would be acceptable.-but you said Game Body Color.

ima stop the autism train right now

>>292922

Well played. That wasn't an error on my part

>>292922

You realize the other ~$10 was probably tax, right?

>>292922

>Why would he be picking his classes November?

"About a year and a half" is an estimate, I don't think it's november. It should be two weeks after summer which, to be honest, I'm not that robust with my lore so I really didn't care about the day. Chloe isn't a calculator either.

>>292922

>>292923

>>292924

Well, fuck. Not sure if you factored tax or not, but it's no surprise the danuki is trying to screw us.

>>292903

>ELECTIVES

Home Ec/Cooking to find someone slightly more tame

Foreign Language to get in with Zipangu girls

Sports for the fit girls very likely to bail on because of the oni

>CLUBS

Math club so we can bully nerds

>>292925

>it comes out in precisely 1 year 9 months and 5 days

Unless someone was autistic, nobody would ever say that.

>>292903

>ELECTIVES

Home Ec/Cooking

This should be the only answer beside sports. It's always good to know how to make food, and be self sustainable. We also gotta show Chloe that we are able to handle ourselves, and make some good ass food.

>CLUBS

Music all the way. It's always good to have a musical hobby. It's challenging, fun and is a good way to meet friends. Choose the piano, fuck violin players

>>292930

Musicfag detected

>>292930

>elective

Home Ec because we're a bitch boy at heart. Comp. Science because it will teach practical skills for the future, when computers get really big

>Clubs

Music club, it'll give plenty of opportunities to ditch classes early, since those kinds of clubs integrate their material through frequent field trips.

Also it'll make us less useless to this world.

>>292927

Did you account for the finders fee she mentioned?

Home Ec: 4.0

Gaming Club 2

Personal Finance .5

Computer Science 2.0

Math Club 1

Music 2

This is the tally so far. Any tiebreakers before the update?

>>292936

This, music club. Looks like we're taking home economics regardless so w/e

Computer science

I watch the booths as they're being set up, mulling over my many choices as the room fills with people. Most people are going booth to booth asking questions, but that's way above my pay grade.

Computer Science does sound kinda cool, but it's probably a lot of boring math. If I can't even get a B in my regular math class, what's the point of taking an elective and club that's basically a more specialized version of that?

Home economics is the best choice. It doesn't require any effort, you don't have to do shitty multiple-choice tests, and there's tons of cute girls that love a man who can cook. There's also the valuable life skills part or whatever.

Gaming seems like an alright club, but I can just do that at home. Music is where it's at. I can woo girls through their windows with a guitar or something, and I hear the teacher is pretty cute. She's one of those artsy types.

I hop down the bleachers to the gym room floor and make my way to home economics. Just before I reach the line for the sign-up, Ms. Alexis slithers into view. "Hello, Seth."

"Oh, h-hey Ms. Alexis." I stammer back, a bit worried that she's blocking my way. Her tail crescents in front of the booths as if trying to impede me, creating a semi-circle around me at a fair distance.

"You're going to sign up for the tutoring elective or club, aren't you?" She says, cracking a knowing smile.

"A-Actually…" She scowls at me mid-sentence, causing my organs to sink with dread. "I… Was going to go with Home Economics."

She quirks a brow, "And your club?"

"Music." I say.

"Music?" She replies, making a genuine face of surprise. "And just what's your interest in music, Seth? For that matter, what's a boy like you doing Home Ec. for? That's usually a young lady's kind of class. Not that you can't, of course, I'm just curious." Her tail slithers and rattles as a few students try to pass her, her eyes taken to them very briefly- so brief that her stare seems even more powerful when it returns.

"Uh… Cooking's a useful skill I guess. Music's cool too. I dunno, it's just like… You can use it right away." I try to sound articulate, but I can feel my heartbeat in my face.

Ms. Alexis slithers toward me, hefting herself up on her gargantuine tail to loom down at me, her arms crossed under her bouncy rack. I can't help but swallow. "Are you sure you're not just trying to woo someone?"

"N-No, I can eat the food too!" I cough out.

"Well, you know, Home Economics isn't just cooking. There's sewing, child-care, drug information, all sorts of things pertaining to a healthy home. I think it's a fantastic elective, so I won't chide you that much. As for your club… I am impressed, Mr. Pastel. I was sure you would go with gaming or cartoons. It's not like you to choose music. Still, you know grades come first, don't you?"

"Y-Yes Ms. Alexis." I say, hiding my face in my hood and my hands in my pockets. When she lifts herself up like that, I can't help but get a little arou- I mean nervous.

"Then, I expect to see you after school! It ends early today, don't forget. Electives will start tommorow, it's a bit late, but sometimes things happen." She says, slithering off in another direction with a cute little wave.

God, I can't wait for her to give me a lesson on how much she can swallow…

I sign up for my elective. I'm officially registered in Home Ec. Judging from the names on the sign-up sheet, there's gonna be a lot of cute girls in this class.

Next up is the music booth. Ms. Heartchord is playfully talking with some new students with a bright smile on her beautiful face. She has one of the slender jawlines that's vibrant and light. She wears the sort of make-up and jewelry you'd see in the 70s and her hair is just as artsy, basically a huge puff of red curls. Her 'assets' aren't too impressive, she has a skinny and flirty model's body. It fits, considering she's a Gandharva. Her vibrant phoenix-colored plumage and colorfully painted claws could give that away at first glance.

I wade through the crowd and pick a pen off the table, signing my full name on the list. I'm about to walk away, but the clipboard is tugged out from under my hand.

Ms. Heartchord turns it around with a rattle of her decorative bangles. "Seth, hmm?" She says with a smile, looking up at me as bright as a star. "Welcome to the music club! I hope we'll have lots of fun together~! I'm Miss Heartchord."

She extends her uh, 'hand' to me, and after some hesitation, I shake it gently. "Uh, nice to meet you."

"So, what instrument do you think you're interested in learning? Wait- don't tell me! Is it bass? You strike me as a bass kind of guy." She says, scrutinizing me with as pleasant an expression as ever.

"I dunno… Maybe?" I really don't have an instrument exactly pinned down.

"Hmm, we'll see~! Choose whatever sounds best to you! I very much look forward to getting to know you and everyone else!" She says, moreso to the group of us by her booth than me personally.

After the sign-up, the students help clean up the gym. That's pretty much the end of the day. Everybody's excited to head home on an early day, but I don't really have much of a reason to head home. What should I do today?

>1) Meet with Ms. Alexis for serious tutoring.

>2) Meet with Ms. Alexis for fun 'tutoring', or atleast try.

>3) Find Chloe and hang out with her.

>4) Fuck this, go home and screw around

>5) Fuck this, sit around on the bleachers playing Castlevania Legends and wait for something cool to happen.

>>292966

I don't know why you even bothered to make this a choice.

2 of course

>>292966

2.

>>292966

>>1) Meet with Ms. Alexis for serious tutoring.

i think she would be kinda pissed at us if we wasted her time

I think the correct course of action is

1.improve grades

2. get to know her Little better so we can get the perfect flirting angle

3. each time we get improve we flirt hard

>>292966

2, but if she won't bite, 1.

And next time we see Chloe we should suggest to her how her life could be drastically improved by removing hair dye from her life.

>>292966

>Option 1

And after that call Chloe, and hang.

>>292966

Gotta go with option 1, he already tried to flirt with her so 2 wouldn't work. Plus bettering his grades and knowledge would better him as a person in general. Think about it, he gets good at Home Ec, music, gets smart, AND he's autistic. He may as well be the perfect catch.

This is no longer a bullied by dragon cyoa, this is now a playfully bully the Anubis cyoa

>>292989

>This is no longer a bullied by dragon cyoa

That's what you think, just you fucking wait until it all unfolds.

>>292966

2, and if it doesnt work, then 1

I'd say we attempt 2 at least, and if it fails we do one. So I cast a double vote of 2 > 1.

>1) Meet with Ms. Alexis for serious tutoring.

Something must be wrong with me, but I'm actually considering getting my shit together. If I can show Miss Alexis that I'm really trying, I'll likely have a better chance with her too.

I run out of the gym and B-line for Ms. Alexis' room on the other end of the school. Half-way through the excited jog I get a little tired and decide to just start walking. On my way down the hall, I notice a familiar face. Helga? At least, from what Gilda said, I think that's her name, the Oni that shook me down this morning.

Her eyes set on me like a tracer beam and she briskly starts walking toward me, her hands curling into fists and sending rippling veins up her hotpink-hued arms.

I start to back away but find myself bumping into the lockers. She's upon me in a second, slamming both her hands above my head with a nightmare-inducing crash of steel. I look up and adjust my hood a little- and she fucking dented it. "Haah!" I gasp out nervously, about to drop everything in my bowels. "Heeeey, H-Helga-AH!"

She grabs my shirt again, hefting me up. We're eye to eye and I can no longer feel the ground. "Don't. Fucking. EVER. Use that name again. You will refer to me as 'Hellen', your personal hell you little twerp fuck!" She rattles me against the locker, purposefully witholding her strength.

"Stop! Ow! Ow!" I cry out, grabbing her arm for support. "Why!?"

"WHY!?" She shouts, checking the hall for onlookers. It's after school, there's nobody to save me. "You taddled to Gilda! Now, since you're broke and I already promised not to take your stupid toy again, I'm afraid I'll have to rescind my offer of protection~. Do you know what that means, bitch-boy?"

"N-No? And it's a gamebo-eck!" She rattles me again, I think it was rhetorical.

She scoffs, "It means that starting now, I'm going to beat the everloving shit out of you every chance I get. If you tell anyone, I'll crush your balls in my palm and if you go to Gilda for help, I'll flush them down the toilet." She threatens, moving one of her hands to my groin and gripping down on my jeans. A jolt of pain shocks through my body and I instinctively try to cross my legs to protect myself, but I'm entirely at her mercy. "Got that?"

"Y-Yes! I got it, I got it!" I cry.

"Crystal fucking clear?" She mutters, squeezing my nuts until I feel like throwing up.

"Crys…tal…" I wheeze with my last breath before hitting the ground. She dusts her hands off, placing her hands on her hips and setting her legs shoulder-width apart. My throbbing groin is conflicted, as once again I get to see under her skirt.

"Good boy~. Well, don't bother bringing any money tommorow. This is personal. I'd just keep clear of empty hallways if I were you. Ta-ta~." She leans down, a hand pressing her skirt flush to her thighs as she waves right in my face. Then, she turns and leaves in a skipping manner similar to the first time she'd beat me up.

Fuck me…

I recover after a few minutes and finish my walk, pushing open the door to Ms. Alexis' classroom and nervously peering in.

She snaps her golden gaze to the door and narrows it, setting the tip of her pencil hard against a paper she's working on. "Seth! Y-"

"Sorry for being late…" I say, walking up to her desk.

Her scowl is washed away by concern as she looks me over. "Seth, you look cramped. Are you okay?"

"Just… Peachy." I lie through my teeth. "I-Is there somewhere I can sit?" Maybe her lap…

"Sure, right across is fine. Pull up a desk and let's get to work."

I do as she asks and drag a desk to hers, sitting down. I thought it would feel better but it just makes me hurt more. She slides a worksheet in front of me and rolls a pencil across our desks. "Alright, let's start from the top. Question 1…"

I let her walk me through a few questions, I do want to improve, but she's distracting me. Her body is just so beautiful. I love her eyes, her curves, the way she looks at me with such kindness as she asks each question.

"You're paying attention, right Seth?" She asks, giving me a stern and inquisitive look.

"Yeah." I mumble.

"Alright, now you do me. Explain the question back to me. Teach me."

"Teach you?" I ask incredulously. "Isn't that your job, Ms. Alexis?"

She nods. "It's a learning exercise, so just humor me."

I do as she says, "Uhh… So, M… A N.. E A stands for uh, Manono, America, Japan… Education Agreement?"

"Close, Seth. It's Mamono-America-Nippon Education Agreement. What year?"

We keep going back and forth like this for each question, and for once I actually remember it. Explaining it myself to her just makes it worth remembering. She gets so happy when I answer something right and this, admittedly cute babying voice comes on. When she claps, her tits jiggle too.

"Oh my god, good job Seth! Let's do this sheet again, this time I won't correct you. I'll keep score, explain it to me."

By the end, I think I know all about this dumb convention. It's worthless information in my opinion but I can splurt it onto multiple choice easy enough. We've spent an entire class period doing this work, alone together.

"M-Miss Alexis?" I stammer, my cheeks immediately going molten.

"Are you done?" She asks, looking away from her own notes to look at me.

"Not quite… I just wanted to thank you for uh, helping me with these questions. I really think I get it now."

"That's wonderful! I don't mean to embarass you in class, Seth. I really do just want you to succeed. I honestly believe this hands-on thing works best for you. You might even get a 100 on the test! Wouldn't that be incredible?"

"Yeah…" Just, fucking go for it man. Come on! "N-Not as incredible as you, though." I say, the lump in my throat staggering my every word hardcore. She stares blankly at me, but I notice a tint of red on her cheeks. "You're the most beautiful teacher in the whole school, a-and making you smile when I get an answer right is all the encouragement I need!" I assure her, my heart pounding like an alarm.

Ms. Alexis looks around the room and takes a deep breath, her face as red as mine. She brings her nail to her teeth and sets the groove of her sharp fang in the chitinous growth. "Seth, I'm going to make you an offer. You're not stupid, so I trust you won't go around telling all your friends, right?" She gives me a scrutinizing stare, her tail rattling threateningly.

"O-Of course!" I cough out, if I had coffee I'd spit it. No way no way no fucking WAY. I'm going to overheat…

She takes a deep breath, the exhale wafting over my hand and twisting my stomach in the most amazing way. "If you get a 100%, and only 100%, on the next test…" She points knowingly at me, "No more no less, I'll give you something very special." She brings those long nails to her lips and smiles at me with all the coy mirth in the world.

I'm shocked into silence. This isn't happening, I'm dreaming a wonderful dream! Fuck fuck fuck! "Fuck yes Ms. Alexi-"

"Seth! Language!" She purses her lips, her harsh tone calming my excitement.

"Sorry, frick yes!" I reply, my face burning and my whole body stiff.

"Good, if you need more help, I'll be here during lunch tommorow. Remember, you can study the material at the library alone if that works better for you. Do not skip out on asking for help if it's necessary though. Playing tough won't get you that A+~."

I exit her classroom and start walking down the hall with the notes she gave me, stonefaced. I walk to the waterfountain, lean over, and cough up a huge wad of spaghettified flem. "HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT!" I wheeze out. My dick is fucking DIAMONDS.

On a normal day, it'd be the end of the schoolday. I really want to go home and fuck my softest sock to the thought of Ms. Alexis six times in a row, but I also kinda want to hang out with Chloe. What to do, what to do…

>1) Call Chloe and hang out.

>2) Jack off and play video games until bedtime

>3) Try to call Ms. Alexis

>4) Find Gilda and see if she needs anything

>5) Find Hellen and try to work something out pre-emptively

>6) Find Courtney and try not to piss her off again

>>293005

secret option 7: fucking study for once so we can get that 100% on the test

also, secret option 8: commit ms. alexis' number to memory for reasons, and also write it down again on a piece of paper and hide said paper somewhere in our room or something

>>293007

With the way the schedule works, Seth can only do one thing in an afternoon, or atleast one thing that counts toward any points/meters in the background. If he studies, he studies at home and plays Vidya until he passes out and the school day tommorow will start in the same update. JFYI.

>>293005

>>293007

This. We should hang out with Chloe at some point tomorrow though.

>>293007

I pick this. But, if we can't, then I'd go with picking 3 so that we can ask Ms. Alexis the answers to anything we feel we've forgotten.

We should probablly figure out somthing to do about Helga. Blackmail? Shes bound to have somthing we could use against her.

We do secret option 7 and fucking study! Study that shit for the grepsnek pussy.

>>293005

Call Chloe and ask if she wants to study with us.

If she asks why we actually want to study, tell her our parents have been on our ass about social studies and we need a study buddy.

>>293005

>Option #1

We gotta create a harem, and we don't want to give the impression that we don't like Chloe.

>>293005

Sorry, OP, but I'm going with >>293007 option 7. We need to raise those scores so we can "graduate."

>>293005

>>1) Call Chloe and hang out.

we're going to need people to help us with the oni bitch or we wight end up gelded if she squeezes to hard one day

>>293005

secret option 7 - study like a man posessed

disregard sandwan, acquire grape cloaca

>>293050

>gotta create a harem

Why do we have to do that when we have grapesnek?

I'll vote for Option 7 as well. We're going to need the teacher's help in regards to Helga and the possible assaults from other parties since helping out Chloe. This can work out as a good step. Somewhat partial to 8 because having more people for backup could help.

>>293062

>implying she would go that far

We are getting a reward, but full grepsnek waifu is not guaranteed.

>>293005

1.

>>293005

>>293058

>>293056

>>293017

>>293007

We could just fuck Chloe and study at the same time. Y'know, bend her over and place a book out on her back and read it over the sounds of her moaning.

Vote for 1 and 7, we study but we don't forget about Chloe. She's a contender for the D too.

>>293085

>full grepsnek waifu is not guaranteed

That's ridiculous, anon. We just have to date her in secret up until we're finished with school.

>>293050

Harem ending, there's a suggestion I haven't seen in ages.

Let's do it.

Secret Option E: Study for Snek Cloaca

Study, duh! On any other day I'd go home and do what I always do, but so far what I'm doing has been working. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll get a 100% for Ms. Alexis!

Since I stayed behind so late, there's nobody in the halls or outside the school. I easily get home without a hitch.

There's not much to say about my neighborhood. It's a small street that's nothing like what the rich kids get.We don't even have a sign. What we do have is green grass and a suburban style that's rapidly becoming outdated as the city expands into us. A turn at the corner and two houses down is where I live, a long white house with a slate-colored roof, a garage, and an upper level.

I pull my key out of my bag and unlock the front door after a little trouble, twisting the handle and stepping in. "Dad? I'm home!" I call out over the sound of boring, daytime TV. The first room in the house is the living room. On the right is the garage door, to the direct left is the stairway to the upper floor and our rooms. Directly across from the front door is the archway into the kitchen, and there isn't much else in the house.

My father lifts the remote off the side-table by his arm chair to turn down the volume, chomping gently on his wooden pipe to keep it in place. It fills the room with an aromatic smoke, not the kind of stuff you'd smell in cigarettes either. Premium stuff. "Welcome home, buddy. How was school?"

He turns his gaze up from his newspaper. It looks like he just got off work as well, he's still in slacks and a dress shirt with suspenders to keep them up, his loafers kicked off by the door and his plaid socks kicked up on his recliner.

I come in and start up the stairs, "It was alright, but I can't talk much. I gotta study tonight."

Suddenly, my father jolts forward in his chair and looks directly at me. "Wait- what?"

I too, freeze in place and look at him from the top of the step, the ceiling nearly enshrouding me. "I have to study…"

"That's what I thought you said. The hell did you do with my son?" He says so seriously that anyone who didn't know him would think he was being serious.

"I'm just trying for once. It's a new year so, maybe I should you know?" In all seriousness I just want to pump Ms. Alexis' tits until my dick falls off.

He folds his newspaper and nods along, somewhat unconvinced. "Right. Did you notice anything different when you came home?"

"Dad, I'm fine! Jeeze."

"No, seriously, something in the driveway maybe?"

"No?" I reply, stepping down the stairs and making my way to the door. What could he be talking about?

He pulls the lever up on his recliner and stands, setting his newspaper aside and briskly joining me. "Maybe you're my son after all, well bud, I'm happy to see that you're taking a little responsibility because this is a big one." He pushes past and urges me outside with him.

I'm somewhat excited as I snap my eyes to the driveway, noticing a new car. It's… Hideous. Gold champagne color covered in scratches, a mismatched black spoiler bigger than the trunk, and it's lights are taped over half-way to make them look really thin. Even worse, the front bumper is missing. At least they bothered to put sports radials on it, even though the rims are rusty.

"It's a 1986 Toyota Corolla, bottom of the line!" My father calls out, holding his arms out to it with a smug smile. In his hands are a pair of keys, which he tosses to me and I catch. "And it's all yours, son. I know I was a bit late since your sixteenth, but you were late on your license. I'll admit, I was a bit worried about getting you something like this, but you seem to be getting more responsible so, have her."

I don't want to be rude, he just gave me a car! I mean, admittedly it's a terrible car but it moves doesn't it? No more walking to school, no more carrying ALL my crap in my bag, I can listen to music back and forth… "Thanks, dad. You're the best." I say a little forced.

"Don't thank me, son." He pats me on the shoulder again. "It's fucking garbage. Well, enjoy your trash mobile." He turns around and heads back inside, the television getting loud a few moments later.

I stare at the car in disbelief. I should be excited but, jesus fucking christ it's ass! I don't have any time to play with it. I need to study! I put the keys in my hoodie pocket and head inside again.

My father turns around in his chair, eying me. "Back so soon?"

"I didn't go anywhere. I gotta call somebody before I study."

"I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to drive that either." He says, going back to his newspaper.

I'm just going to go to the kitchen and call Chloe. I roll up my sleeve and unhook the manilla phone from the dialer. I punch her number in and wait for the tone to ring. Eventually, somebody answers.

"Masa Al-xeir." An older, feminine voice answers.

"Uh… Is this Chloe's house?" I ask.

There's silence, followed by rattling. Suddenly, the phone blares with noise. "Oh! CHLOEEEEE!!! PHONE FOAH YOU!!!"

"WHAT!?" Chloe calls back in the distance.

"I SAID PHONE FOR YOU! THERE'S A BOY ON LINE!"

Suddenly, the phone transfers hands with a crackle. "Hello?"

"Uh, hey Chloe."

"Oh, hey Seth! What's up?"

"Nothin' much, I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out and study at my place?"

"Study?" She scoffs, "Is that code-word for something?"

I shake my head. "Nah, like for real. Social Studies stuff…"

There's a deafening silence from her, a strained noise of disappointment falling from her lips. "Man, get outta here with that weak s- stuff… Studying is for losers!"

I don't know why I thought a punk chick would want to study, shit… "No no! Y-You don't understand! If I get a 100% on the test I get to bang the teacher!" FFFFFFFFFFUCK! WHY!?

"Dude! What the fuck!?"

"CHLOE!! LANGUAGE!! AL'SABANEEE!" Or something along those lines, I don't speak… whatever the fuck that is.

"SORRY, UGH!" There's a shuffling of feet before she continues in a low whisper. "Seth! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"N-Nothing! I-I'll see you at school tommorow!" I mumble into the phone, my entire body red with embarrassment.

"Wait, Seth!"

"I love you!" I slam the phone down and begin hyperventilating in place. I turn around and place my back to the wall, something catching the corner of my eye. My father stands a few paces away in the doorway with a cup of coffee, just staring at me.

"You'd better dial 1800-Come-On-Now because that was pa-thetic." Then, he goes back into the other room, shaking his head.

In silence and shame, I shimmy my feet through the carpeted livingroom and up the stairs. I should just study.

The whole night I do just that, blocking out my traumatic experiences with random tidbits of information about the world. I… Don't think it's very effective. Art imitates life, and just like in a good game, you can't just cram the same information twice in one day. I'll need the lunch period tommorow and likely more after-school time if I want to get a 100%.

Eventually, I get bored of jacking off to my homework. My dirty sock is topped off on thoughts of Ms. Alexis. I spend the rest of my night playing games, getting stuff out of the fridge, and hanging out with my dad. It may seem like he's an asshole to me but we have a decent enough relationship. He's just… Weird.

I doze off eventually and awaken to the sound of my shitty alarm, stumbling out of bed and going through the routine of tooth-brushing, showering, dressing in a clean hoodie and getting my shit together. At the breakfast table, me and my father have some bachelor's cereal and talk about school. I don't know if I'm comfortable telling him about the bullying, I feel like he wouldn't do anything reliable about it, but at the same time maybe there's some advice he can give? He doesn't talk much about his real life or the things he does.

Maybe later. For once, I reckon I can leave a little later since I have a car! That makes my life so much easier, even if it is garbage. I head out with a wave and a 'good luck at work' and fidget with the lock to my vehicle a little. I've been driving with my dad a little so I'm not too worried about figuring out the controls.

Once I'm on the road, I immediately notice just how bad this thing is. It doesn't have any fatal flaws, it turns well enough and it moves fine without conking out, but it jiggles like a fucking washing machine, the signal to the radio's so weak I can barely hear britney spears jibbering on and the manual clutch is stiff and slow, just like the car. Plus, the suspension is for ants. If I go down a tiny hill, even just a little, it scrapes the car. There's some good news, though. There's a tape player! Maybe I can buy some tapes since the radio is objectively shit? I'd need a job though…

I come into school and park in one of the last spots, turns out I have to walk a good distance anyway. The halls are full of students and I don't waste much time moving from period to period. I'm terrified of Hellen showing up, but there isn't much going on there. At lunchtime, I've a few options to consider.

>1) Eat with Chloe

>2) Eat and Study with Ms. Alexis

>3) Eat near the popular table

>4) Eat by myself

>5) Drive out and get something

>>293162

>Eat with Chloe

Come on, who DOESN'T want to see her reaction after our spaghetti last night?

>>293162

Ha-rem Ha-rem Ha-rem

in all seriousness snek should be a one night stand/fuck buddy.

We're going after some real pussy.

I think it's time we made a name for ourselves.

6) Find the Oni and eat with her. If she tries anything violent whisper sweet nothings, handholding, and oni fuckhole.

If she wants genuine conversation, no matter how cuhrazy this sure to be tsundere is, we're going to initiate by asking her how much she can drink, in the most deadpan voice as possible. When she reveals her sake tastes, act unimpressed. No spaghetti must be spilled at this crucial moment. Right when she starts demanding something like to meet her after school for a beating, whip out your gameboy color and scream "I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT" running towards the nearest bathroom.

We're going to do the one thing we know best to stop getting bullied- get sweet 2d pussi, spill our ravioli everywhere, and get bullied.

Justification is because we feel depressed for getting the corolla. Make sure to get some sweet eurobeat songs later.

>>293162

>>293164

No, we'd better just save ourselves the embarrassment, let's go no. 2

>>293162

>Eat with Chloe we need to explain ourselves

>>293170

More like we need to see that glorious reaction. Let's do it.

>>293161

>Eat with Chloe

We should see if we can get some tutoring from Mrs. Aelxis after school though, since it'll help with studying and also avoiding the Oni (hopefully).

>>293169

>>293170

I think if we eat with Ms. Alexis we will come as as being too close so rumors will spread. It would be wiser to eat with Chloe and study with the teacher when alot fewer people are around. Also I wanna see her reactions of the sphaghetti spillage

>>293162

>2) Eat and Study with Ms. Alexis

SNAKE

CLOACA

>1) Eat with Chloe

I'm no masochist, but part of me wants to talk about last night with Chloe. Not only did I drop the pasta with her, I've been neglecting hanging out with her. She's the closest thing I've had to a friend so far.

I get in line and grab what I'm going to eat, making sure to save enough money for the glorious chocolate milk. Once I pay, I head up the winding staircase to the upper floor where all the loners hang out.

It's easy to find Chloe since her hair stands out like a police siren. She's sitting alone at a four-person table against the rail with her stuff stretched out as if to signal others she's not interested in making friends. She's staring intently over the rail while sipping her soda, glaring at the popular table just beneath.

"Hey, Chloe." I say a little embarassed, setting my tray right across from her and cracking open my chocolate milk. I take a subtle wiff of my meal fit for a king.

"Oh- Hey, Seth…" She sounds unsure, confused and conflicted. To be expected considering our phone call last night. "So, what the hell was up with you?" There it is…

"Sorry, I'm just not really good at talking to people. I dropped the ball on that one." I reply.

"Drop the ball doesn't really describe it. What's this about you…" She lowers her voice and hides her flushing cheeks, leaning across the table to whisper. "Fucking a teacher?"

"Hah, that u-uh, that was a joke. You know like uh, absurdity humor because you accused me of being a loser." I try to cover my ass, but she doesn't look to buy it at all.

She nods unconvincingly, as if to sarcastically call my bluff. "So, why did you say you love me?"

"A-Ahah, that… it's like a joke goodbye, catches them off-guard."

"Oh…" Her voice flutters down and she picks at her food with her fork, frowning. I didn't hurt her feelings, did I?

"Why? What, did you think I meant it?" Oh no. That came out condescendingly. I can see the pain in her face- the way she grits her teeth and looks away with nervous laughter. That's a spaghetti-dropper's face.

"Pff, noooo~! That would be weird, right? We just met. There's no such thing as love on first sight." Once again, her tone is full of sadness and rejection.

"Yeah, it would. I mean, not that you can't like, like someone you meet for the first time- that isn't weird it's just, you should get to know them right? So, uh…" I drink some of my milk to give myself a pause to collect some more nerve. "W-What kinda, stuff are you into? Like, music and stuff."

"Me? Marilyn Manson's pretty cool, Defttones and Nine Inch Nails, Linkin Park's cool for relaxing, I-I don't always listen to hardcore stuff though, sometimes I just like to hang out in my room and listen to l-l…" She exhales, then mumbles; "Lovesongs…"

"Cool, I don't really know what kinda music I like. It's whatever's good I guess. What about for fun? You like video games? I heard you mentioned Morrowind, that's Elder Scrolls right? Do you have a computer that can even run it?"

She shrugs, "My dad has an alright computer but I don't think he'll let me play it. I try to stay out of the house as much as possible anyway. I like games, but I like guns more. I think building stuff like that is really cool, I like to read the schematics and like, swapping out parts and stuff- especially the big ones like the MG42. That thing is crazy!"

"I don't know much about guns." I admit. "I mean, I've played games with guns in them but I haven't ever touched a real one."

"Me neither, my dad won't let me. He says they're dangerous, but unless you like point it at yourself like some sort of retard they're harmless." She says as sure as an expert, her tail stopping the fit of fluffy dusting it was doing. "So… What kinda girls do you like?"

I shrug, "I just like girls in general, I'd like one that doesn't beat me up all the time."

"So, only half the time?" She says with a smug smile.

"Hey, that's not what I mean- Ow!" Chloe kicks my shin underneath the table! That little… I reply in kind, getting her toe with the tip of my foot. We stare at eachother intently, a smile on her face that I try very hard not to replicate. My focus is on trying to hold down her foot with mine in this little fight of dominance we're having.

There's a point where I actually think she's winning. I try to adjust myself a little to gain an edge, knocking my tray in the process and beginning a chain of events that will surely be my undoing. The selection, "Blue Danube Waltz" comes to mind.

The tray knocks the side of my chocolate milk, which slides across the table and impacts the bannister. As the carton dispenses milk into the air with its whirlwindish movements, it appears as a collapsing star. The chocolate rain disperses through the air rather evenly in a net toward a familiar girl.

Time seems to still as Courtney tenses up in her seat and stands, chocolate milk embedded in her platinum locks. She scrunches her face as she stumbles out of her seat at the popular table and screams in rage and surprise, drawing the attention of everyone in the room to her.

Chloe's mouth goes wide as she stares over the bannister with me and watches the fireworks, shielding her mouth as to not giggle and draw attention to herself. It doesn't work.

Courtney spins around in circles trying to find the culprit, tracing the carton up to Chloe and pointing a finger. "YOU BITCH! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD MEAT YOU HEAR ME!?"

Oh fuck. Chloe didn't do anything wrong! What do I do?

>1) Take the credit proudly, cementing yourself in a war

>2) Take the credit apologetically, cementing yourself in a war

>3) Blame Chloe, cementing HER in a war

>4) Stand there and act like nothing's happening, like norway

>5) Get the fuck outta there without Chloe

>6) Get the fuck outta there with Chloe

>7) Throw another milk carton at Courtney, be Nazi Germany

>>293212

>7) Throw another milk carton at Courtney, be Nazi Germany

As much as I wanna say seven, I say we just apologize. It'll make us look good not only in the eyes of Chloe, but also for the grepsnek teacher.

>>293212

>7) Throw another milk carton at Courtney, be Nazi Germany

until she sees the error of her ways the only way to deal with her is to bully her into submission

>7

Make sure to yell FOOD FIGHT! to start WWII.

>>293212

>>2) Take the credit apologetically, cementing yourself in a war

Let's not drag one of the only people to be decent to us into high school world war 2

>>293212

7, time also adding in 1 so she dosent think anubutt threw the first one.

>>293212

>Considering anything other than unleashing the Milschenwerfen

>Shiggy Diggy

Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein

und das heißt: Erika!

>>293235

Alright, it seems fairly unanimous. Update will be out in a bit. Heil Milkler!

>>293212

We're too deep into this, we already molested this girl and she touched our dick and balls with her knee, we almost enjoyed that. The spaghetti never dies, we can't wash away this sauce off our hands, we let school fear us all, for it a means to an end.

Sieg Heil

>7) Throw another milk carton at Courtney, be Nazi Germany

The call of the void wafts over my shoulder and whispers in my ear again with as much sugar as the devil himself. If I'm going to go ahead and take the blam, I might as well do it balls deep.

The mess hall is silent, save for the ambiance of murmurs amongst the crowd. The shocked faces of the popular table are filled with fear, preventing them from doing anything but watch Courtney and Chloe stare at one another.

I reach out toward our table and grab another carton of chocolate milk. I crack it open and take a swig to savor the sacrifice before I hold it up in the air and yell out; "SIEG HEIL!" for no other reason than an inside joke before chucking it as hard as I can at Courtney.

Somehow, games must've improved my aim because the calculated drop is on point. It spins through the air with a storm of chocolatey slop and wetly smacks her right in the nose. Her face scrunches up as the contents drench her outfit and bag, then land on her shoe.

"Dude…" Chloe whispers as I step up to the bannister to look over at my target. Courtney looks like she wants to scream, she has that pose with her hands out in front of her, just looking at the mess like a prissy, spoiled bitch that can't believe something could happen to her.

"How's that for a make-over, huh?" I shout over the edge. "Don't fuck with Chloe! I told you I'm your worst fucking nightmare."

The absurdity of it all seems to get to the room, a few snickers passing from table to table as teachers rush in to see what's wrong. Coach McGuirk and, oh god, Ms. Alexis see me leaning over the edge and Courtney standing there, silently sobbing to herself.

"SETH YOU FUCKING S-SPERGY… SPASTIC FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

She screams so loud I swear a window cracks. She vacates the cafeteria not long after, her cries heard all the way down the hall. The popular kids, easily identifiable by their scowls and preppy style, now look at me as some kind of hideous bully- ironic. She picked on Chloe first, she chose to be an asshole first. Either way, I'm in much deeper shit than just being made fun of now.

Coach McGuirk hurries up the stairs and grabs me by the back of my hood. "Alright, Seth. Let's take a trip to the principal's office real quick…"

I don't bother ratting out Chloe. I just take it, allowing myself to be dragged with him and Ms. Alexis all the way to the principal's waiting room. We stand there for a short while before I'm urgently pushed into the nice, leather-lined office. I'm seated across from a turned-around leather chair with a villainously high back, the silhouette of a female figure showing up in the shadows, the curtains are drawn to create a darker atmospher.

"Dr. Lashingcrop, we have a serious problem." Coach says over the crackling of sconced candles, his hand tightening on my shoulder.

"It seems we do…" Lashingcrop chuckles under her breath, suddenly spinning herself around with folded fingers and a devious smile. She's a devil, blue skinned and red eyed, black sclera tainting her gaze with a maliciousness and matching her hair in an inhuman, beautiful way. Her horns are massive, straight-up spikes that part her professional shoulder-length hair and match her long, winding tail. She's garbed in a masculine suit that hides her figure and makes her so much more intimidatingly professional.

Suddenly, all viciousness leaves her and she quirks a brow. "So what happened?"

"Well…" Ms. Alexis starts, her eyes never leaving me. "Seth here decided it would be fun to start a food fight with one of the girls from the second floor. He threw two cartons of chocolate milk at her and yelled- cursed like a sailor too, threats at her. I am VERY disappointed."

"Chocolate?" She asks, sighing. "What a waste, that's the best milk. Explain yourself, young man." She points an angry, crooked claw at me and waits for my reply with her hands folded back in front of her on the leather-centered desk, the tick of the clock making my answer seem more urgent.

"Uh… Well, frankly, Courtney's a bitch." I answer.

"SETH!" Ms. Alexis scolds, rattling her tail.

I pull forward a little, my hands gripping the chair. "She bullies the other girls! She corners them with her goons and insults them, sometimes she even shoves them into lockers and throws around their stuff! She deserved more than a facial!"

Dr. Lashingcrop glares at me harshly for a moment, siphoning the cold from the room and almost putting a growl into the back of my mind. I can feel the sweat creeping down my back and soaking my clothes, an ethereal threat beyond my comprehension.

The devil in the suit shrugs her shoulders and leans back in her chair. "Sounds fair to me. Send him back to class."

"What!?" The two teachers say in unison.

"Ah… Dr. Lashingcrop, you know that you HAVE to discipline the student? He ruined her property and assaulted her! This could be a lawsuit situation should the parents find it necessary!" Ms. Alexis informs her.

"Really? Ain't that some shit… Alright, you did technically- what did he do again?"

"He hit her in the face with a chocolate milk carton, twice." Coach McGuirk mutters, the disorienting situation sapping the anger from earlier out of his voice and replacing it with exasperation.

Dr. Lashingcrop cracks up laughing in an instant, slapping her desk and throwing her head back. "TWICE!? SHE DIDN'T SEE IT COMING THE SECOND TIME? HAHAHA!"

"Dr. Lashingcrop!" Ms. Alexis yells, "This is very serious!"

"Yeah! Someone needs to teach her to move out of the way!" She says, only hurling herself into a deeper fit of laughter. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm being unreasonable. It's just a funny image you understand? Like, 'Bonk!' Hahahha!" Dr. Lashingcrop laughs for a while, the three of us out of reactions to give.

"Look, Dr. Lashingcrop, can we move this along?"

"Of course, Mr. McGuirk." Lashingcrop opens one of her drawers and pulls out a small felt bag from the depths. "Since this is a first offense, I'll use a smaller one." She announces before reaching in and retrieving a six-sided die. She rolls it across the table, '4' popping up on the face. "Four days detention." She announces, leaning back.

"Dr. Lashingcrop are you SERIOUS!?" Ms. Alexis rattles again, at this point Coach McGuirk shrugs and exits the room.

"The dice have spoken. You're his next class, are you not? So go, take him."

Unfortunately, that's Ms. Alexis' boss. So, she leaves with me. In the hall we start toward her class with a tense air about us.

"Ms. Alexis… I'm sorry, I really do mean what I said. Courtney hurts other people."

"I believe you, Seth." Ms. Alexis says, "I'm not as angry with you as I am with this incompetent leadership. No wonder so much violence is abound with this sort of principal. I…" She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I just don't get how things like this can be allowed to happen on either end! You shouldn't be throwing milk at people, she shouldn't be bullying!"

"Sorry." I mutter again, keeping my head low and my face shrouded.

"If you ever have a problem with her or anyone else, go to the counselor, okay? I don't want any excuses, no more playing hero. You're not the staff of this school, you're not the robocop, this isn't a movie. If they won't help you, come to me and I will." Ms. Alexis says with a valiant tone, though I doubt she has any real power.

Social Studies is the first class I pay attention to for the start of the year. I want that 100%, so I make sure to put in the extra effort to take notes and memorize every stupid detail of this garbage material. We were a little late, so Ms. Alexis decided to go easier on the explanations and shift the discussion schedule a bit. It's a blessing in disguise that I threw that milk.

After that, I move with the crowd to avoid getting caught out and try to get to shop early. Coach McGuirk looks as bored and empty as ever, blankly staring at the class. "Alright, get to work! Birdhouses are due by the end of the week so don't slack off."

I work with Chloe again, who looks at me like a princess would a knight in shining armor. "Seth!"

"Hey, Chloe." I put my pieces together and start drawing on some spots for nails, something to distract myself.

"Holy shit what you did was badass!" She whispers. "You totally fucked Courtney's shit up! And you were like, 'don't fuck with Chloe'…" Her excitement trails off as her face goes red. "T-Thanks by the way, for sticking up for me. Twice now." She works on her little morrowind birdhouse, the bulbous base coming together quite nicely. She's marked holes for pegs where a staircase is going to go, and the roof is made entirely of rods like straw. Pretty cool, compared to my triangle house.

"No problem, you don't deserve what they do to you. I don't regret my decision one bit." At least, not yet.

"So… Do you wanna maybe hang out today? I gotta repay you somehow~." She says with a smile. I don't think she means anything lewd but, a guy can hope right?

"I dunno, I've got detention and some other stuff so, I'll let you know if I can."

Next, I've got Coach again for P.E. This time, he makes me actually do something, run off all that chocolate milk I wasted I guess. I'm a slow runner, but Coach doesn't give me a break at all. He stands there and makes me finish every fucking lap- even after the class has left to change. When I finally get the chance, SHE'S there.

Hellen rushes me to the tune of O Fortuna in the hall to the changing rooms, Mr. McGuirk already left so there's pretty much no escape. I'm slammed up against the wall in an instant, blocked off by her massively tall body and subject to her cruel stare. "Hey, Seth~. Nice little stunt you pulled today."

"W-What do you want, Hellen? I don't want to be late so j-just, get it over with!" I back myself against the wall and try to breathe, why the fuck is she so scary?

"I want you to squirm and beg is what I want." She curls her fists into my hoodie, hefting me up a little higher. "Come on, say you're a little bitch who can't fight back a girl. I want you to know how weak you are, going to others for help, you don't deserve balls!"

I don't want to get hurt like last time, my groin aches just thinking about it, maybe I should just comply?

>1) Tell her what she wants to hear

>2) Tell her off and take the punishment

>3) Give her the silent treatment

>4) Flirt with her

>5) Flail wildly

>>293243

Well, we've established that our field is barren of fucks.

5. Go down like a glorious autistic spartan. (She'll probably react better to that than trying to cozen her anyway)

>>293244

>>293246

Ooh. I add my dubs to this further detail. RIDE!

>>293243

>>293244

Death before dishonor! Let us go out in a blaze of autistic glory! 5 and 2!

Not buying what she's selling. She's gonna attack either way.

>5

Maybe the autistic sperg will get a lucky cunt punt in. Worked well on the hellhound in paladin highschool assuming anyone remembers that by now.

>>293251

do you happen to have it archived?

Fuck me I need to stop doing that.

>>293252

>reading my quest

>ask for another person's quest

Wow, I didn't realize I'd get NTRd in my own goddamn thread.

>>293243

>4) Flirt with her

The greater the tsun, the greater the dere.

>>293257

>I forgot to sage again

JUST

>>293258

Delete you cuck.

>>293243

I go with secret option 6: Grab her large breasts and make her squirm and moan until she lets go and make a run for it.

>>293255

You're our Venom Snake, the phantom boss.

>>293243

Do 5 but a the first chance we get try find a way to run away. You know next time she try something, we should film or try to get our ass kicked somewhere with a camera.

>>293276

While obvious, I don't think her breast are too sensitive, also would must likely not disable her with bliss. Plus, we already have the principal curiosity, we shouldn't be aim for her attention with that sexual stuns

>>293285

Hmmm, I thought all monster breasts were sensitive. It isn't as cliche as I thought.

>>293243

>#5

Real niggas don't beg. If all else fails then flirt with her. And if that doesn't work then start swinging.

>>293296

Well yeah but not enough to disarmed her intentions​ to dominate. She want us crushed, she want whatever pride to be crush.

>>293243

Die happy whilst motorboating them tiddies

I'll be shocked if Helga gives some modicum of respect if we fight back. Though the attempt to motorboat those red melons would bring a negative reaction, but fuck it!

>>293312

You cockgurgling faghead sage your posts on CYOAs

>>293243

Time to flail wildly and tell her off. Go big or go home and die trying.

Flirt, we flirt and make it real weird.

>>293337

Sage when you post in a CYOA thread, faggot.

>>293255

You also forgot to sage

>>293255

Blind reader plays with Gexx

>>293243

5) We'll do it. We'll activate our special move.

shout giga dorill break while doing it too.

>>293372

I always wonder if different type of beans have different effects on an oni. I guess it depends on the head canon.

Looks like we doing option SPERG again, I'm gonna throw in a last minute suggestion that we attempt to act like her beating arouses us when we inevitably get our shit kicked in. Just to make it ultra weird.

>5) Flail wildly

I don't have a choice. There's no guarantee she won't beat me to a bloody pulp even if I comply. I'm a cornered animal, she's forcing me to fight back here! Problem is I don't really know how to fight. Staring into her wild eyes, I know I'm completely outmatched, and the fear begins to set in my throat. I have to try something!

"SCKREEEEEEEEE!" I begin kicking and swinging my arms wildly in wide arcs to try and disarm her in a legitimate blitzkrieg, just throwing everything in at once.

Hellen closes her eyes and steels herself to hold against my flurry of blows. My impacts on her arms and face make her grunt and squeak in surprise. "H-Hey! Fucking stop!" She starts rattling me around but its no use, the spaghettification is complete and I am one with the spin.

I begin kicking her in the hip and rustling myself side to side, slapping her face from alternating sides and angles. She rears her head back and turns it away to avoid my blows, but only opens her breast to attack. They begin getting slapped around too, which brings enough pain to elicit a yelp and finally get her to let me go.

The second I touch the ground I begin sprinting as hard as I can to my next class. I get a total of half an inch before I'm tripped. She grabs my ankle and turns me around, her face tinted purple with rage. "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, BITCH!?" She drags me on my back toward her, grabbing my thigh and squeezing her fingers into my flesh so hard I think it'll bruise.

She raises her fist far above her head and lets out a terrifying cry as she sends it barreling for my face. I curl forward and worm my way out of the impact zone, the tile just behind me cracking with the force of her blow! "Fuck!" I cry out, high-pitched and terrified. I start swinging at her again with open palms.

Slapslapslapslap! She staggers up and shields herself with her arms, her thick ass squarely on my crotch. She catches one of my swinging limbs by the wrist and slams it above my head, making my skin ripple and sore. She breathes heavily and grins as she looms over me, her free fist rearing back to deliver my undoing.

"DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!" I yell, at this point completely lacking all self preservation under a rush of adrenalin. I'm gonna get pummeled no matter what now, no time to regret. I swing for one last slap. My hand slides across her hairline and impacts the rather small horn atop her forehead. At first, I'm intrigued by the sensation of the soft, fuzzy, cartilage-covered bone. I grip down on it, pushing my thumb into the tip and wrenching it.

"Nnhug~." She crosses her eyes a little at my hand and freezes in place, one of her legs twitching. "Stooooooop! That's, weird!" She demands of me.

Oh… How convenient. "And j-just what makes y-you think I'll let go of your w-weakness?" I stammer over my pounding heart, rubbing the little nub, her knees locking to my side.

"Y-You ba-astard…" She says taking a deep, stressful breath. She strains to bring her fist back to her side under my ministrations, every little twitch or pulse of my hand freezing her in place for a solid half a second. She brings her now uncoiled hand between our legs and sets her palm under my crotch with a firm squeeze. "If you don't let go right now, it's your horn that's going to be made fun of!"

"No! If I let go, you'll just kill me!" I say, my voice cracking with nervous energy. She's not even gripping all that hard but I'm terrified of the thought.

She sits there and breathes a moment, running her thumb across the front of my pants as the tension grows and her face purples harder. "C-Come on, just let go, I won't beat you up…"

Oh god… She doesn't seem like the type to pull out the desperation as a ploy. This must really be bothering her. "Alright… You'd better not b-betray my trust." Slowly, I lift one of my fingers off her horn and she does the same with my groin. We slowly disarm at eachother's pace, she even lets go of my wrist. Then, once both our hands are off eachother's bodies, she stands.

I lay on the floor and watch as she dusts herself off and regains her composure, evening out her skirt and somewhat obscuring my view of her undergarments, which is the usual upside to being smaller than her. She turns around wordlessly, her face still flushed that plum color, and walks down the hall. The bell rung ages ago, we're definitely late.

Home Ec's first class is nothing more than a safety and equipment introduction with nothing interesting going on at all. Music club is just as uneventful, we learn eachother's names, give a few things about ourselves, I try to keep it simple of course.

After school, I head back to my car and slide my key into the doorhandle. I turn it with ease, a little too much ease. Something doesn't seem right here. I look around the parkinglot, people around the school are getting in their own cars and driving off. Why do I feel like eyes are on my back? I can't pick a single person out of the crowd that looks suspicious.

Oh well, I open my car door and crawl inside, the suspension rocking back and forth. I slam the door shut and start up the engine, letting the air conditioning run for a minute and switching off the radio. "Ugh…" I lean back in my chair and exhale.

"Herro there." A foreign voice comes from behind.

I snap my gaze to my rear view mirror and notice a black-hooded figure sitting in the back seat, only his smile revealed. This, scares me shitless. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I scream.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He screams back, and keeps screaming, until my mouth is completely shut.

"You're probabry wondering how I ended up in your vehicre." He says in a horrendous japanese accent, tossing a car jimmy into the front seat. "I'm not a rocksmith, that's technicarey irregal. No matter, down to business. I witnessed your fight against Courtney and Herga today. You have a surprising amount of potentiarr. You may even be… Spaghetti-born."

"Spaghetti-born?" I ask.

"Yes. Onry those with a sourl of writhing pasta tendrirs could purr off such feats as fearessry as you. Your unorthodox methods read me to berieve you are… Spaghetti-born. If you wish to rearn more, then meet me in the boirer room at runch tommorow. Werr, I rove you too. Bye." He raises a hand to me, then opens my car door and gets out. He walks back toward the school, drawing the attention of students who immediately cringe awkwardly and move a little faster.

What the fuck? Am I really that spastic? Well, it's the end of the day, so what should I do?

>1) Hang out with Chloe

>2) Go home and study

>3) Do some research on Helga

>4) Do some research on Courtney

>5) Bully Courtney

>6) Flirt with Courtney

>7) Try to work off debt with Gilda

>8) Ask Dad for help with bullies

>>293418

>spaghetti-born

Goddammit Gexx if you've homebrewed a 'shout' mechanic for this nice simple CYOA so help me Ammit…

>wat do

1. Hang out with emowan. We were good little vegemites in grapesnek's class today so I reckon we've earned some chill time. We can always bone up a little for an hour or so before bed.

>>293418

>#1

Chloe, said she was gonna repay us. But it sounds like a trap for her to introduce us to her parents. I say we still go for it.

>>293421

No mechanics, It'll just make his spergout options more effective

>>293418

>Hang out with Chloe

Let's hand out with the wan, and maybe not miss some of the extremely obvious subtext about her liking us.

>>293443

Fucking this. She must be punished for her faggotry

5) Bully Courtney

Maybe if we bully the most popular girl in the school long enough, the other bullies will leave us alone.

Also she's a cunt.

Bully her by creeping up behind her in our car at honking at her.

>5) Bully courtney

It's time we actually made a name for ourselves in this school. That starts with making the bitchiest girl in the school fear us. I dont know what we have available though.

>>293457

Ngl that's fucking robust

>>293418

>#1: Spaghetti link GO.

Let's go with #1 and get a dose of Vitamin Wan.

While it's tempting to bully Courtney, let us not forget that our stocks with Ms. Melonsnek would likely plummet beyond recovery if we did it as anything other than justified retaliation. Spaghetti is to be spilled, not thrown.

>>293418

1

fucking hell his dad is a double nigger, the principle a faggot, the queen bee gets bullys into submission, we got lewd with the violent oni, and just met the local weeb.

dude your story is awesome, i dident have this much fun reading something in a while.

>>293457

damn i like, but lets not do that today, bullying her more then once a day is overdoing it.

matter of fact its surprising that she dident already send her gang of chads after us.

could she be a elf?

would explain it, the bullybait loves this kind of attention even if she dosent admit it.

so instead

>1) Hang out with Chloe

autism wan deserves some of our time and after the major victorys we had today some peace and quiet is well diserved.

>all these 1 and 5's

We really should try to get our debt sorted as quickly as possible, or at least get a better grasp of how much shit we are in.

So, 7.

>5) Bully Courtney + >1) Hang out with Chloe

Seriously, bullying Courtney's not gonna take that long.

Detention cut a lot of my afternoon time, but since I don't plan on studying I guess I can take a little detour before hanging out with Chloe. I watch through my rear-view mirror as Courtney and her friends walk out with their school bags in cheerleading outfits. She must've had practice today… Perfect.

I pull the manual transmission into place and back my car out once they pass, taking a sharp reverse left so that my car faces them. I flip a switch near the left of the steering wheel and fucking pop-up lights come out! Shit, that's not what I meant to do! The lights are dim though, so she doesn't seem to notice while playing on her cellphone and talking with her friends. They can't see me.

My time is now. I rev up my engine until the poor thing puts and slam my hand on the horn! It screams out the tune to 'Tequila's' first 8 notes in a horribly distorted but loud tune, scaring Courtney and causing her to spin around.

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem?" She says, barely audible through my air conditioning and sealed windows.

I play my horn again and flash my signal in the direction of her car, passively telling her to move over.

"Fuck o-"

'Do-do-dodo-do-do-doo-do!' My car replies, easily overdoing the power of her vocal chords. This is a very unexpected positive trait to a horrible car.

"Go take your hunk of shit around!" One of the side girls calls, she gets the horn too. I rev my engine toward them, staggering them back, then immediately signal for them to get the hell out of my way. I call their bluff enough times that they eventually step aside and let me zoom past.

I keep my eyes on the mirror and pull to the right, immediately going through the other parking lot and finding a space to turn around. I drive back up into the connector by the curb and wait for her pretty little convertible to roll up. Then, I drive up behind her for a little while. We leave school and go another direction from my house.

I pull out the gaming skills and trail her a car behind, waiting for that one to turn before zooming up and blaring my horn again. The distinct sound it makes immediately draws their attention. They were so playfully letting their hair blow in the wind and enjoying their fancy richgirl roads, then I signal them to move over.

They ignore me at first, but I've got time to burn. I honk at them over and over at regular intervals, just following behind and trying to keep my rustbucket steady. Eventually, they pull over to the side and I roll up beside them at a crawl.

I crack my window to hear their sweet cries of irritation, Courtney stepping out of her car and circling her hood to get in range of me. Then, she sees my face clearly. Her eyes go wide with confusion and painful memories. "SETH!?" She asks.

"Whores get the horn." I mutter under my breath, slamming my fist into the middle of my wheel to play that god-awful tune again.

"What the fuck is that song? Why do you keep playing it at me? What do you want you stupid spastic nobody?" Courtney's face is going to have permanant wrinkles from how stressed out she looks, her stance is all bothered too.

I roll down my window all the way and smile, "Oh, hey Courtney! How're you doing?"

She blinks, rearing her head back slightly and canting her head. "W-"

"Cool! Fuckin' top stuff mate. Love the outfit! Well, goodbye!" I play the horn one more time and wave. I can barely contain my laughter as I speed down the neighborhood road and roll up my window. Good thing I was allowed to smile back there, because I would've lost instantly trying to be serious.

With Courtney sufficiently mindblasted, I turn my car around and head back home. An eighth of my gas tank and a whole two hours of my time were totally worth it. It's about 7:00 when I get home, so I figure before bed I can atleast call Chloe for a while and hang out.

I never had a reason to have a line upstairs so I get my gameboy out and a chair from the kitchen. Dad's busy watching his shows and doesn't seem to be using the landline so I think I'll have at it for a while. I ring up Chloe, get past her mom again and finally manage to talk to her.

"Hey Chloe. Sorry, I got detention."

"That's alright. I guess it's a bit late for coming over, but thanks for calling me anyway." She says, a bit disheartened.

"Not like there's much for us to do but talk, so this is fine isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's okay, but I had something cool I wanted to show you if I'm honest. I've got these friends out of school that got me something awesome!"

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

She chuckles a little, her voice a low whisper. "I can't tell you, you'll just have to come and see man. I-If you don't wanna come over, we can just hang at the park or after school if you want. I'll even wait out your detention, or maybe I'll dump my own milk on Courtney and come see you?"

"Nah, don't throw your afternoon away for me."

She sighs, "It's not throwing it away, I like hanging out with you man. We could pass notes and I'd be alright with that."

I'm silent for a moment, this feels… A bit close? "Hey, Chloe, can I ask you something personal?"

"H-Huh?" She stammers on the other line, her breath right in my ear. "Uh, sure, what's up?"

Should I say something? Would it be weird, or embarrass her? "H-How come you treat me like we've known eachother for years? I just met you."

This silences her. She stands there in the static for a moment, broken by the sound of her thought. "Ummm… I don't know. I don't have any guy friends and you're really cool. Whenever we talk I feel like somebody cares about my problems. You sacrificed yourself for me twice, that's something not even friends will do. That's like… Family tier, y'know? You don't make fun of my style, you smell ni-" She coughs.

"Oh, y-you too Chloe."

The silence crackles in the background. If this metaphor were real, we'd never figure out who's spaghetti was who's out of the pile.

"Yeah well, my mom's gonna be pissed if I run up the phone bill so, see you at school tommorow?"

"Yeah. See-ya." Click. I put the phone up and turn around to see my dad yet again standing there with a cup of coffee.

"Friend of yours?" He asks, taking a sip and sizing me up with his piercing gaze.

I nod. "Yeah, Chloe."

"Chloe huh? What is she?"

"What do you mean?"

He motions his cup in a little circle, rolling his eyes in thought. "Like, what Pokemon or whatever is she?"

"They're Mamono, dad. Haven't they been around since you were a kid? You should know this."

He shrugs, waiting for my answer.

I sigh and pull the chair back to the table. "She's an Anubis."

"Shit taste, bud, shit taste." He says, shaking his head and walking back into the other room.

Thank god I only got half his genes. I head upstairs and do a little work before bed, just to top off Ms. Alexis' lessons. I fall asleep to the thoughts of sweet, sweet snake pussy.

In the morning, I get in my car again and drive down to school. I park in one of the back spots again and head inside. I'm a lazy slacker, so I hang by my locker and finish up my level from last night. Oddly enough, I'm brought back to Ms. Alexis' window. Then it hits me, there's hair sticking out of the crack in one of the buttons. A long, black hair barely visible in the shine of the fluorescent hall lights. I tug it out of my gameboy and raise a brow at the spectacle, casting it aside.

Apparently I've wasted quite a bit of time being distracted, as the halls are empty again. If I don't want to get caught out and beaten to a bloody pulp by goons or Hellen herself, I've got to get out of here quick! I head down the hall as fast as I can, keeping my hood up and hands in my pocket. Then, suddenly I hear something.

"Hey you! Where the hell do you think you're going?" Helga calls. Oh fuck. I slowly turn around with heart pounding- but there's nobody there. I swiftly turn every direction in the hall to find the voice when I see the frill of a skirt and a hot pink ass turn a corner, a bag by an open locker. "Get back here you fucking twerp!" Helga's voice is faint now, as if she's chasing after someone.

I close the distance between myself and the open locker, looking down at the bag with morbid curiosity. Helga's cellphone, a little pink McGuffin SCP-5300! Something something mamono mana something something phones happened.

Her phone's likely to have tons of juicy info on it! But, if I were to steal it, there might be consequences.

>1) Steal Helga's phone and use it for blackmail purposes

>2) Steal Helga's phone and sell it to Gilda

>3) Fuck that, leave the bag alone

>4) Take the bag and give it to Helga as a sign of good faith.

>5) Dump all the contents of the bag and leave it on the floor like a fucking animal

>>293473

>>4) Take the bag and give it to Helga as a sign of good faith.

Let's get clear of this bitch's bad side. That'll make it easier to focus on the Danuki and Courtney.

This is a complex situation.

We have two pressing matters, a danuki that we owe money to, and an oni that's out for our blood. If we stole the phone and pawned it off, we could solve one problem and make the other worse. OR, we could make things slightly better for basically the only ACTIVE bully in this quest so far, and ignore a pressing threat.

At any rate, I gotta pick 4

>>293473

4, she kept her word about not hitting us when at the horn situation, if anything, that fill me with hope. She can become best girl. At least we can try to get to know her a bit now.

>>293473

1 then 4. We take a quick look to get a brief gist of the situation then befriend Helga using the phone's return. Longer-term we find out what the danuki has on her that let her twist her arm to get our Gameboy back, then work together with her to free us both from the eternal Jewnuki. Danuki is good monster, but when mixed with the true kike descends into an awful horror that must be removed for the honour of fluffycalves everywhere.

>>293481

The timing of her letter was too convenient and too good to be true. For someone like Helga to give up something that she was going to use as bait, it must be juicy as the tits on a cow girl.

>>293481

>>293485

Definitely agree, search the phone for material related to Gilda then return it back to be on better terms with Helga

>>293473

1. I can't believe more anons aren't picking 1.

I say 1 and 4. We must remove the power this kike has over the denizens of this school. We are the hero this school deserves. Defeater of kikery and slutty bitches named Courtney.

>>293498

>our waifu

>our

Our waifu is Ms. Alexis.

>>293473

>#4

If we are gonna want our ass not to be beat constantly we need her favor.

Im going to add 1 along side my vote of 4 but before that, let me ask, you fellow anon, do you think we would be able to get her to say it?

>>293502

>ms. alexis

so much for shit taste.

joke to the side so fat every girl was interressting in one way or another, cant wait for us to learn more about them.

on a more embaressing note, my autism failed me, so far every idea for pranking our dad was eather unimaginative and boring or just plain stupid.

im drawing a serious blank here, where is the high impact dullahan bully when you need him?

Alright, votes are tallied and I'm starting the new update very soon.

>>293473

If we are going with 4 then we are going to have to do it the sperg way! Remember, we're Spaghetti-Born!

>1) Steal Helga's phone and use it for blackmail purposes+>4) Take the bag and give it to Helga as a sign of good faith.

I look left and right, noting that the coast is clear. Well, Helga certainly would be grateful to the boy who returned her the stuff she forgot, and if that boy were to take a look at her phone? Let's just say what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I pick up the bag and sling it over my shoulder, shutting the locker Helga left open so I can lean against it. Then, I gingerly pull the phone out of the bag and press the 'end' key. The backlight comes on in an instant and I'm treated to the color menus. This thing looks pretty state of the art.

First, I go through the texts. There's one between Helga and the Danuki, Gilda.

G: "hey hel, how is the new phone?"

H: "good i like it a lot ill pay u back asap"

G: "dont worry about it! little at a time! hows ur mom?"

H: "shit as always she wont leave me alone"

G: "wdy mean?"

H: "she got drunk again and fucked evrythng up im so fking tired of her! i wish shed just trip and impale hrself or sumthin."

G: "are your sisters still giving you trouble?"

H: "yeah."

G: "well if u need to get out of the house we can go do something"

H: "maybe 2moro"

G: "ok, maybe."

Looks like Helga's got a bit of home trouble, and it turns out Gilda might be closer to Helga than I first anticipated. It doesn't look like there's much to blackmail her in her messages. Other conversations on her phone include yelling at her mother, but there's nothing else.

It's on to the real treasure trove, the photos and files. I scroll through the menus with rapid button-presses until I get to her camera and open it up. Jack, fucking, pot.

There's quite a few pictures of Hel, as she's referred to so casually, in cute underwear. We're talking, pandas and hearts and hello kitty and stuff like that. She uses ground-level angles for a lot of the sexy selfies, and the ones with her face in it are particularly cute because of how embarassed she looks.

Every new photo is the perfect mix of cute and hot. The embarrassed, heated look in her eye coupled with her uniquely hued skin and the hyper-effeminate panties is too much for me to look away from. I've never seen this side of her, nor do I really deserve to. I just met her because she stole my gameboy.

This goofy smile crosses my face as I flip through the pictures, the warmpth in my body reaching a new record. She's really cute. She has a nice, slender figure with bangin' curves that just keep turning. It's hard to explain.

A looming shadow falls over the screen of the phone as I'm looking through the pictures and my heart plummets. I don't want to look up, I really don't want to look up, but I can hear her pissed, heavy breathing as she looms over me.

Finally, I give in to the fear and turn my head toward the ceiling, that stupid grin replaced with abject terror, though my expression doesn't change all that much. "H-H-Hellen! Heeey!"

She pushes her strong hand against my collarbone and pins me to the locker, her hand furiously vibrating with restraint. She snatches her phone from my hand and looks at the screen, causing me to flush with embarassment. "Just who the FUCK do you think you are?" She mutters through clenched fangs, the quiet quality to her voice adding to the fear factor.

"I-I know this looks bad, but I was just watching your stuff for you! Honest!" I hold up my hands in a disarming gesture, hyperventilating under her horrifying stare. "I-I mean, you left your bag alone, s-so I closed your locker for you and watched your stu-hnf!!"

She tightens her grip around my throat, straining my windpipe to the point where I can barely breathe. I'm only getting a quarter of the air I'm supposed to, it's like wheezing through a wet rag! I kick in place feebly and tap her hand.

"You looked through my PHONE!" Her tone ascends to a crescendo of mad and doubles in volume with every muttered word. "That's private, numbnuts! I have shit on there I don't share with people and you just fucking helped yourself!" She sounds solemn, on the verge of tears. The wet, glossy sheen of tears begin to form puddles in her eyes and roll down her cheeks. "I literally can't get a break anywhere, can I?"

"I'm sorry… I.. meant to just watch.. your stuff, I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't mean to what, get caught?" She interrupts, squeezing down on my throat so hard my eyes bulge and I see spots for a second.

She lets go after that, allowing my crippled body to rest against the lockers. I grab my throat and try to massage away the bruising, choking back tears and wheezing.

"Do you have any fucking idea what it's like to not be able to sleep because your whore of a mom brings every fucking dick and john from the bar home every goddamn night, or how hard it is to hide your money from her? Do you know how SICK, and FUCKING TIRED, of having my personal space and privacy INVADED by SELFISH FUCKS!"

I go numb when her knee meets my gut, my entire body jolting up but the pain lagging by several seconds. I'm winded and fall to my knees, unable to reply or retort.

She rips the bag off my shoulder and slings it over hers. Then, she just stands there. She takes a deep, deep breath and holds it for a minute, sobbing to herself. She turns away from me to keep some semblance of pride as she walks away and wipes her eyes.

What she doesn't know can't hurt her… Should've paid more attention. Should've grabbed the phone and fucked off, should've given her the bag and left. I may not know what it feels like to have such a horrible homelife, but I know what it's like to be outcast and treated like shit, to have your stuff taken and to be entirely powerless to stop it. That's what makes it feel even worse.

For a second, as I look back on Courtney and what I've done to her, I worry I'm becoming the monsters that haunt me. I worry that I'm just like Helga, well… Hellen.

First period with Mrs. Cawbottom, a tengu, is english and once again entirely uninteresting. I'm late, I come in the middle of reading and I don't care about it. I can't go to the infirmary no matter how many times other random kids ask if I'm alright because of what I did to Helga. I just have to suck it up and bear the pain.

Math goes by, and so does science. By the time lunch rolls around, I don't feel all that bad about Helga. Not that I don't regret it, just the pain's kinda numbed and the initial guilt is faded. So, the question is, who do I eat with today?

>1) Eat with Chloe

>2) Bully Courtney

>3) Eat with Helga and apologize

>4) Eat with Helga and flirt, it could work as a self-esteem booster.

>5) Eat with Ms. Alexis and study

>6) Eat with Ms. Alexis and ask for advice

>7) Drive out and eat alone

>8) Eat with Gilda

>9) Meet with the asian kid in the weird black outfit in the boiler room.

YOU GOT IT FAM, SPAGHETTI FUCKING THROWN!

>>293527

>3)

Shit nigga we fucked up

>>293528

>wronged

Are you retarded? We don't have anything to do with her home situation, and she's a further hypocrite from stealing from us while threatening us with castration for trying to get our property back. We try to figure out a way to stop this shit, and we're the one in the wrong?

I'm going with a mix of 5 and 6.

>>293527

>3)

We gotta apologize, we need to stop fucking with people.

>>293528

>>293526

While I understand your feelings, fuck her, no seriously fuck her, she not a pawn, she a willing participant. Seth got scam, and Courtney is still is secret elf which it explains her cuntish behaviour and she bully bait magnet. Expose the elf, expose the danuki!

Going with meet with the Asian sperg

>>293532

I thought Courtney was a succubus, or is she just surrounded by them?

>>293527

3, we gotta apologize as well as explain our own problems. If she has the patience to listen to what our experiences with bullying then maybe we can change this whole entire bullying around. Having her listen to someone that understands is the best thing we can do for her.

>>293530

Perhaps you didn't read the last Dragon bully m8, burying the hatchet is the first step towards waifuing the bully

>>293533

I will admit, these characters are really hard to remember when reading this. I don't know which is Helga and which is Hellen. Are they the same girl? Also, I have no clue what Courtney is other than the girl that bullies Chloe that we bully back.

>>293536

I did, but it doesn't stop Helga from being worst girl.

>>293537

Hellen is Helga's preferred name, because Helga sounds obviously ugly. Courtney I was apparently terrible at designing because her powers are basically undisplayable in a school setting and Chloe is the autistic wan with blue hair Courtney bullied.

>>293533

>>293539

Oh no. Courtney is a bully magnet but not your typical bully magnet… I seen that people have forgetting about their kind.

>>293539

Hmmm, I think the Mamono you used for Courtney could have been better if she was one of those teachers that smoked between classes. For right now, everyone is guessing she is either an Elf or a Succubus. Either way, she is now bully bait.

>>293543

I was trying to do some bullshit where, instead of a garbage KC 'darkness', she's a bitchy leader that compells people to her side. A different, darker sort of succubus. At night, she does display KC-esque powers but yeah, she got robusted way too fast to do anything with. Also, a teacher couldn't bully students effectively.

>>293545

PS just in case anybody is still confused: She's a Nurarihyon.

>>293546

Damn it so close.

I'd say we do four and then five. We apologize and then go get grepsnek puss

>>293546

I really got.to stop reading too deep into things, I was thinking Courtney was a doppelganger pretending to be a Nurarihyon and the other two were here friend in disguise also.

>>293554

wew lad

We already had a spaghetti character in jexx's DB, and he was annoying as hell. So no.

>>293560

Learn to sage retard

Fuk u

honestly this situation is shit no mather how you look at it, with helga the big bad oni being a emotional weakling from perental abuse/neglect.

and because of that she bullys people to feel powerfull and in controll.

their isent much we can do about that.

for some reasone she had expectations to tread her right even though she abuses us and now feels betrayed just like she does from her parent.

yea apologysing is a waste of time, in her eyes it will look empty and meaningless, she might react with more aggression.

no when we want to start a friendship with her we need to do something for her.

SHOW her that that we give a shit, so for now just wait and see and when shit happens step up to it.

so for now lets just gring our skills.

>nr.5 study with alexis.

i know their have been enough votes to apolegize that it will happen anyway, but that bit of analesis might come in handy later

>>293562

also fuck you too buddy

wow r00d >>293565

>>293565

It's mainly these details that I would advise a mix of 5+6, get some studying in then ask Alexis on advice on how to fix the situation.

>>293584

4 is a bad idea, since it'd be like leading her on. I mean, we're already working on getting with Ms. Alexis right now.

>>293527

>3

We must become trained in the use of our autism but we should also apologize to helga about going through her stuff. 3 and 9

The dang captcha keeps screwing me

>>293585

I say we abandon the grep snek cloaca if it means that we can save strong oni pussy from an abusive home

>>293605

Sage you tart

>>293527

3)+4) and then 9)

>>293605

I like how everyone is ignoring that Helga isn't being black mail but it seen like she is working with Gilda. Boyim get oppress by the big red machine, here come the greatest ally to extract shekels and when it due, bam, leash. Don't get me wrong, Onis can be top tier, but, Helga, she's cunt, that probably the weakest of the brood that why she taking her frustration on poor Seth or deem weak.

Further more, it seen that we're locking on Chloe route without realizing it.

>>293634

We could attempt to waifu Ms. Alexis which I personally would prefer but I think we've already been locked out of that on account of not spending every waking moment studying for that test.

Autism wan is cute I guess.

>All this waifufagging over a teacher that didn't even explicitly say she was gonna fuck us, and a blue haired edgy autismwan that sends out sjw vibes.

I'm going to laugh so hard when it turns out the 'surprise' for doing well on our test is like a hug or something as disappointing.

Our objective is to stop getting bullied, we can either try to solve Helen/Helga's problem and be her friend, or go to the retard in the boiler room and learn how to be spaghetti born.

I vote spaghettiborn.

>>293638

This take place before SJWism infection spread to the pandemic levels of today, it at infancy. Besides, this a high school not an indoctrination camp, i mean universities. if I'm correct.

>>293527

4 so that we destroy any chance of getting with Helga

>>293640

Third wave feminism started in through early 90s, you probably didn't go to high school in the early 2000s so you didn't get to experience them.

>>293637

>but I think we've already been locked out of that on account of not spending every waking moment studying for that test

After this, we should try our very hardest to ensure we pass. She might still do something nice for us if she knows we've definitely tried our hardest.

>>293651

I did, it wasn't until 2007 that I met the crazies. For some reason 2007 mark the explosion of this fucking plague. Not it peak but when it became widespread, like aids in Africa.

>>293638

>sjw vibes.

you never met a goth or punk girl have you?

the social JUSTICE cancer is just the latest and worst thing to atract the wierd girls.

beatnik, hippy, juppy, glemrock, metal, boyband cancer, punk, goth, emo. its a shame some of them went away goth was hot as fuck

their have always been popular things that girls flock to in droves only to drop them a few years later, the social JUSTICE shit is no different and will go away like all the others did.

the stupid fucking communist dont have any more staying power then the music industry did in keeping teenage girls attention.

>Third wave feminism started in through early 90s

bullshit the early political correctness during the clinton era was nothing compared with the shit that has been going on for the last decade.

back then it was mainly the communist by themself whining about "marginal groups" back then they dident ally with the remnence of feminism, and the third wave wont become a thing untill the mid 2000s were the communist and Paladyke realice how much they have in common and the unholy alliance is born in the backrooms of soros and rockefeller.

>>293666

gonna have to respect these dubs, also update soon boys get hype. Chloe isn't exactly what I'd imagine to be a Paladyke, she's just a punk sperg.

>>293687

>dubs

>is actually trips

wew lad

>>293418

Finally I understand what the "sides" meme is, because that's the first time I've ever had muscle cramp from laughing so hard.

>3) Eat with Helga and apologize

I'm all for snake chloaca, but what I did to Helga was fucked up. Two wrongs don't make a right and regardless of what she did to me, I shouldn't be doing the same.

I get my chocolate milks and a smaller meal than normal then start walking around the cafeteria. Some students are looking at me and muttering in excited, hushed tones. Maybe I'm just being paranoid about the gossip.

I find my way to the sportsy table and look up- There's Helga. Tall girl with a horn. She's eating a meat-heavy meal and an entire gallon of water, like out of a fucking bleach bottle. "Uh, Helg-Hellen?"

She turns her torso in her seat, her expression immediately souring. "What do you want, thieving, twerp fuck?"

Her whole table turns to look at me, a bunch of jock mamono. I'm admittedly a little nervous about sitting with her so I just try my luck. "Hey, can we go eat together at another table? I have something I need to say."

Hellen narrows her eyes at me, then suddenly and uncharacteristically smiles. "Sure, buddy~. I'll be right back guys." She stands up without getting her food and puts her arm around my shoulder. She starts walking me toward the cafeteria door with my tray.

"Uh… T-The tables are up there…" I stammer, resisting her pushes but failing to make any progress with the attempt.

"We don't need a table. Let's go talk somewhere a little more personal." Her smile is devious and excited for whatever she has planned. She starts bringing me toward the girl's bathroom. Oh no.

I put my heels forward and try to resist her as hard as I can, my sneakers scraping the tile floors. "W-Wait! Hellen, come on! Let's talk this out."

"Oh don't worry, don't worry! We're talking it out right in here." She turns toward the disabled bathroom usually reserved for larger mamono and opens the door, practically throwing me inside. The milks fall off my tray and my foot slides to the furthest corner. To prevent making a slip and slide, I set it on the sink.

There's a click behind me. Hellen turns from the locked door and sets her fist in her hand, squeezing her knuckles until they pop in rapid succession. "Okay~, what did you want to talk about?" She says bittersweetly.

"I-I just uh…" Fuck, she makes me so nervous. The dire situation I've found myself in makes it almost impossible to focus on a coherent sentence outside of my own head. "S-S-orry."

"Sorry?" She scoffs, crossing the bathroom until we're chest-to-face. She leans down a little, touching her forehead to mine. To do this, I'm forced to look completely up. Her eyes are like daggers poised to slice my throat, silently judging my genunity.

I swallow hard, then nod. "Yeah… I should've never looked at your phone. I'm sorry for invading your privacy."

Silence, golden silence. Slowly, her expression turns more neutral. She stands back up, inhales audibly through her nose, then she smiles. "Is that all?"

"W-Well, I also just wanted to talk to you. I want to know why you're copying your mom."

"What." She grumbles, narrowing her eyes.

"You beat me up and tried to steal my shit! Weren't you complaining about that yourself? It just seems a little ironic that you'd treat someone else the same way you were…" Man, I'm a fucking asshole. I'm probably going to keep fucking with Courtney after saying all this.

She waits a while for me to finish, but finds that I've lost the will to speak. "I'm in debt, okay? I didn't buy that cell phone myself. I wanted to be popular, I wanted to have the style but my mom hoards money like a fucking crackwhore. I have to earn it fast and hide it away before I get home. So, I shake people down and put it somewhere safe at school. It's quick and easy, seconds of work. I never said it was right, but I can't stop now."

"Why don't you just return the cellphone and get something else?"

"I like the cellphone." She replies, crossing her arms. "Besides, it's already used. The person who sold it to me won't take it back now."

Yeah, I can believe that from someone like Gilda. "By the way, uh… Y-You're really cute in those pictures." My heart hits my gut again as I admit this.

She stares at me unblinking, her flesh rapidly shifting to the telltale plum color of an Oni's embarrassment. Helga tucks a little hair behind her ear and tugs her skirt down a little. "Thanks… Don't tell anyone about them or I'll snap your arms and legs in half and hang you by your sack from the roof."

Broken homes are a hell of a drug. "I just wanted to know why you attacked me, but I went too far looking at your pictures."

"I just need the money, okay? And stop apologizing, it's annoying. I was going to take pictures of you in here as revenge and give you a swirly but I'm not feeling it anymore… Consider yourself lucky, whatever your name is."

"Seth." Well, I'm glad I apologized now. There's no telling how long she could've stewed on that.

"You can go now." She points her thumb toward the door and leans against the ajacent wall to me.

I gulp and walk toward the door, undoing the lock and preparing to turn the handle.

"Which one was your favorite?" I hear behind me.

"What?"

"Which picture did you like the most?"

"The uh… C-Cat one was pretty cute." I reply, cracking open the door.

"Oh, yeah… Don't tell anyone, I mean it."

In social studies, I work hard at making Ms. Alexis proud as fuck! The test is this friday, two days from now. I'd guestimate I'm near an 80 right now, I get two hours of study in detention but without Ms. Alexis it's really hard to learn. She just makes learning worth it.

In shop, Chloe and I talk while working on our houses. Hers is coming along fantastically. It looks like the unpainted model to a movie set or something. She kept nudging me about that cool thing she's got and how we need to hang out after school sometime.

P.E, Home Ec, and Music club are fairly standard and boring. The only thing worth mentioning is I have the choice between a couple instruments to play with. The only three that interest me are the Tuba, because its fucking hilarious, the piano because it's classic and I get to sit down a lot, and the guitar so I can be like dragonforce. I don't know what I'll settle with yet but I played with them a bit and the class was really fun. Ms. Heartchord isn't the type of teacher to judge you on a mechanical level, she just lets you have fun and teaches you about harmonics and stuff.

>Mini Choice: Tuba, Piano, or Guitar?

In detention, I study like a fucking madman. I review the test over and over and over again and quiz myself on every stupid detail in that book. It's so boring I want to rip out my hair but it'll all be worth it when my load is falling out of Ms. Alexis' mouth.

After school, I head over to my car. Something seems off about it again, but this time at a distance. The champagne gold has been scratched away by something harsh and metallic, leaving behind a jagged message and several more scars in my car. "SPERGY SETH" has been engraved in the car door. On the hood is a poorly drawn dick, and the windows have been scarred to obscure my vision.

"What the fuck man!?" I yell, laughter suddenly coming from behind.

"Wow! Nice new paintjob man! Looks way better than before!" One of courtney's goons yells from the arm of some smug looking jock. There's a couple of them waiting around and snickering at me as I get into my car. Thank god it was locked and they didn't hurt the interior. What the hell am I gonna do?

>1) Hang with Chloe

>2) Study for test

>3) Carbomb Bully Courtney

>4) Flirt with Courtney

>5) Be nice to Courtney

>6) Find Helga and hang with her

>7) Find Helga and bully her

>8) Find the spaghetti lord

>9) Get shitty car fixed

>10) Work on Gilda's debt

>>293714

Gotta get the shitty car fixed, we need that to go to school and Chloe's house and stuff.

We can always do the other things tomorrow, but this a pretty pressing need.

>>293714

>1) Hang with Chloe

>secret option 11: accuse the jocks of being gay alps in disguise since they seem to like dick so much they just HAD to draw it somewhere before GTFO'ing as hard as we can

>anything but being able to play the hardest metal known to man

>also, here's Wonder Wall

go with the guitar

>>293714

Tuba's out, and it's hard to drag a piano around to impress people, so let's go with guitar.

>Hang out with Chloe

Let's find out what's so fucking neat.

Also, our car looks like ass anyways, so we can probably "fix" that shit with a can of spray paint, and it'll be close enough.