/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

> I've been trying to work my tail Into his pants all evening.

> He kept telling me to be a "good kitty"

> I made him spill water all over his crotch.

> His eyes turned icy and he told me I was to be punished after dinner.

> Absolutelysoaked.png

> Later that night right as he lifts the belt I beg forgiveness to add spice and atmosphere.

> Mfw he forgives me and puts down the belt.

>>227205

>the spoiler

>>227198 (OP)

>When you bully an oni too hard

There's something oddly pleasant about stronger monster girls being shy and getting bullied.

>Sitting next to a weresheep during lunch and using her arms as pillows

>Leaving a danuki with your wallet and a obviously hidden camera in the same room

>Poking a dormouse in her side just as she's about to fall sleep

>Wearing cheese deodorant around mouse girls

Tell cheesy jokes to mouse girls.

When trying to bully your mamano, be sure to account for all of her abilities.

Bully small bunny women

>>227537

>that gif

>>227548

>Nigel Farage tail pussy

>Your waifu starts to get into character

>I just want to cuddle but she won't stop talking about Brexit

>>227622

It was just a joke lad.

>>227748

>implying she wouldn't just take you

>>227736

Fucking elves man.

You know I'm kinda sad Jeb girl doesn't have any content.

>elves

>>227901

Here you go it's got a little Yuri but otherwise there's nothing bad.

https://www.tsumino.com/Read/View/21054/2#21

A maid wants to get her mistress out off an arranged marriage so she gets the human servants to knock her up. She doesn't want to be in it and we never see the guy so it's not netori either.

>wake up to the sound of my name being called

>stretch myself out of my sleeping bag, yawning as I wish my cute dullahan wife good morning

>for some reason she's mad at me again

>"Anon, why are we in a tent? I'm positive we fell asleep in our bed. Also, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BODY?!"

>gaze back at her detached head with tired eyes as she pouts at me angrily

>I dunno what happened to your body, babe. Why don't you ask Olmec?

>"…Who?"

>zip open the tent to reveal a big, scary-ass tiki head right in front of it

>she yelps and falls over as I pull a remote from my pajamas and turn on the speakers taped to the back of the tiki, playing a recording of my voice

>LEGEEEEENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!

>"Oh my fucking god Anon what is this shit? Just tell me where my body is!"

>THE BODY OF ANON'S WIFE CAN BE FOUND… IN THE SHRIIIINE OF THE SILVER MONKEEEEY!

>Well babe it looks like we're in this together!

>she glares at me, knowing there is no way to talk me out of this adventure

>Alright then are you ready, dear?

>"Fine whatever"

>Olmec, are you ready?

>LET'S ROCK!

>dart out of the tent with wife's head in tow, revealing ourselves to be in the backyard

>our pool has been filled with dry ice and now has a series of ropes leading from one side to the other

>We have to cross the moat together, but I need both of my hands. You know what that means!

>she knows exactly what it means but won't say it

>"I'm not doing it."

>Well in that case I guess we're gonna be sleeping in this tent from now on!

>she turns beet red

>"F-fine! Give it here!"

>whip out my morning wood and ram it into her mouth

>she mutters something to herself as I let go of her head, leaving her to hang on by her lips

>grab on to the rope and slowly make my way across the pool as wife's head sucks onto my dick for dear life

>shudder and grunt as I take my time going from rope to rope, wife's head bobbing around as her chin tenderly slaps against my balls

>feel myself about to come as we cross to the other side

>there is a big button sitting on a patio table that I run over to and press the moment I release my seed

>a gong noise sounds as wife groans from the hot spunk shooting into her mouth

>pull her off and let her spit onto the ground

>"Yurgh a fugging asthooole!"

>there is a toothbrush with toothpaste conveniently placed next to the button

>she begrudgingly allows me to brush her teeth before we continue

>the backdoor is locked

>Well shucks, I guess we'll have to go through the basement door… AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE!

>open the cellar door, revealing another scary tiki head that startles wife

>THE TALE OF ANON'S WIFE

>mysterious jungle rhythms begin playing as Olmec narrates the tale

>ANON'S WIFE WUVVED HER HUBBY VEWWY MUCH

>ONE DAY, WHEN ANON CAME HOME FROM WORK, HIS WIFE WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID

>OY GIT MAKE WIF DA COLOMBIAN ROAST OR I'LL BOX YE FOOKIN EARS SWEAR ON ME MUM

>BUT ANON WAS VERY TIRED FROM WORK AND DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK OUT TO GET HER STUPID ETHNIC COFFEE

>SO ANON SAID TO HER

>HOW ABOUT I GET US A TICKET TO THE AMAZON AND WE CAN GET THE REAL STUFF STRAIGHT FROM THE HANDS OF THE SMELLY SPICS WHO GROW IT

>HIS WIFE, BEING THE MOUTH-BREATHING LUMMOX SHE IS, REPLIED

>COR THAT SUNDS LOIK A ROIGHT SNOGGIN GOOD TOIM, CHOINA!

>AND SO HER BODY FOUND ITS WAY TO THE TEMPLE, WHERE IT REMAINS TO THIS DAY

>"Anon that doesn't explain anything. Also, I just wanted some FUCKING COFFEE HOLY SHIT YOU'RE TAKING THIS WAY TOO FAR!"

>both the tiki and myself completely ignore her as the questions begin

>First question: How much does Anon's wife wuv her hubby?

>she looks away as I jostle her head slightly

>Weeeeellll?

>"V-v-vewwy much"

>she blushes as I continue to jostle her

>Vewwy much what?

>"Sh-she wuvs her hubby v-vewwy m-much!"

>CLOSE ENOUGH FOR OLMEC

>"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

>go down a step and continue the questioning

>all the other questions relate to embarrassing high school moments she thought I forgot about and things she does at home she thought I didn't know about

>when we're down to the last step, she's on the verge of tears

>And what does Anon's wife listen to while playing air guitar with her head and hair?

>"F-f-fuh fuuuh fuh FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOO-HOOO-HOOOOOD!"

>she starts bawling as I nuzzle her into my chest and take the last step down

>Awww, it's alright. Let's just skip the pendant games and go to the main event, okay?

>open the door to the basement

Cont. (1/2)

>>236100

I'm fucking crying dude this is hilarious

>>236100

>>236136

>the door to the bedroom is open slightly and has a sign on it that reads 'shrine of the silver monkey'

>wife nudges through the door and enters the room, which is full of fake plants, decorations and pictures of my head photoshopped onto kirk fogg's body

>sitting at the edge of our bed is wife's body, which is tied up and wearing a gorilla suit

>wife sobs miserably as she drives up the series of ramps and onto the bed

>the ramp ends just above the neck of her body

>victorious music plays as wife sits there and cries, her head still attached to the RC car as it sits directly on top of her neck

>step out of the closet, tossing confetti at her and clapping, still completely naked

>You did it, babe! You beat the temple!

>"FFFUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

>she's crying so hard she's got snot dribbling out of her nose as she coughs and whimpers

>walk over and wrap my arms around her body

>I'm sorry I did that to you. Tell her what she's won, Olmec!

>untie her and unzip the gorilla suit

>a shitload of coffee beans pours out of the suit and onto the floor…

>…along with two plane tickets to Brazil for a once-in-a-lifetime journey up the Amazon river

>her lips shudder as she looks up at me with big, teary eyes

>Let's go on a real adventure like I promised. No RC cars this time.

>she breaks into long sustained sobs as I pick her head up and nuzzle her into my chest, tenderly stroking her hair

>after a few minutes, she calms down and is now merely sniffling

>"You're still a fucking asshole. I'm not gonna forget about today."

>Oh, I'm counting on it.

>turn around and kick open the door to our bathroom

>there are candles everywhere with softly burning incense

>rose petals are sprinkled onto the floor and into the bath, which is full of hot water

>wife's eyes start to glisten as I carry her inside, placing her head down on a velvet cushion at the edge of the tub

>carry her naked body in and close the door

>gently lower her into the tub as I strap on a nasal snorkel and my trusty BK Ratch Techs

>dive down and start eating her pussy, hearing her moan with delight above the water

>go at it for hours until the bathwater is filled with her lady juices

>resurface as her body grabs me tight and her head looks at me with sensual satisfaction

>"I… I love you, Anon."

>I love you too, you beautiful woman.

>we kiss as I pull the plug on the drain and let the water out

>pick her up from the tub and dry her off along with myself

>carry both her head and body back out to the bedroom

>shove the crudely made ramp off our bed and lay her down in it

>crawl under the cover with her

>her body spoons me from behind as I hold her head to my chest

>she quickly falls asleep to the sound of my heartbeat, smiling gently and cooing

>as my eyes grow heavy, I turn to look at the ghost of kirk fogg hovering above me

>he says I did a great job and he can now finally move on to the afterlife

>But you're not… even… dead…

>fall asleep with the satisfaction of knowing that I am the happiest man on earth

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

Jesus Christ m8, this is gold.

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

I assume this setup is in reference to something but I don't know what it is, which only makes it funnier.

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

There was a point hubby should've acknowledged that this was too much bully but we have gone further beyond that boundary than ever before.

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

>>236100

>slowly make my way across the pool as wife's head sucks onto my dick for dear life

>>236136

>>236137

Motherfucker, you nearly killed me from laughter. Never stop writing stories.

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

This was damn good.

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

>grade-A bullying with sweet ending

You're a god among men, anon.

Making another one. This time with less sex and more plot. Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.

>come home from a long day of breadwinning

>wife is sitting in the living room, reading a book with her head resting on her lap

>"Hi, honey. How was work?"

>slouch down against the door and plant my hands into my face

>I fucked up.

>"What? What happened?"

>You know how boss is on a bowling team with the company president? Well, their other two teammates died in a boating accident last month and now they're two players short. So I figured 'Hey, this is a great opportunity to suck up to the prez and work my way towards a promotion!' and I told boss that I could be on their team.

>"That… doesn't sound too bad."

>Yes it is, because the first game is tonight and I told them I would be bringing along the other new teammate!

>"Really? Who?"

>stare at her for a few seconds as her face begins to express her annoyed realization

>"No. Fuck no. Absolutely not."

>But none of the other guys at work would come along and the game is tonight! TONIGHT!

>"Then get one of your friends to go with you!"

>YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS!

>start tearing up as she backs down and retracts into 'I'm so sorry, I forgot you don't have friends' mode

>"Okay, alright! I'll do it, but… I've never even gone bowling. How do you expect me to play?"

>Oh, don't worry your detachable little head. I've already thought up a plan.

>later that night, we arrive at the bowling alley

>a lot of the patrons stare at us as we walk in, probably because they're not used to seeing a man walking around with a headless woman

>hold wife's hand as I carefully guide her to the aisle where my boss and the company president are sitting

>boss sits his fat ass up and adjusts his Dallas Cowboys beltbuckle

>"Well well, if it ain't Anon and his better half. Or at least one half of his better half!"

>boss laughs obnoxiously at his own joke as the company president chuckles along, despite being nearly deaf and unable to hear what the boss said

>We're just here to bowl, sir. Like I promised.

>"You ain't here to bowl, boiay. You here to win, ya hear? If you or Mary Antoinette there make a fool outta me in front of the old windbag, I'm sending you up shit creek."

>Yes, sir. Understood.

>"Well you know the rules, dontcha? Everybody gotta bring their balls to the game, all three of them!"

>he slaps his fat fingers across his nards proudly

>"But in yer case, I guess you'll have to borrow some from yer woman! Hyuck hyuck!"

>No, I'll just be borrowing one.

>boss looks at me confused as I open my bowling bag

>pull out my custom ball, which is made from clear plastic

>encased in the ball is wife's head, who is keeping her eyes closed as she blushes with humiliation

>boss busts a gut at the sight of her

>"Bwahyuck hyuck hyuck! I should be right pissed with you for pullin' a fast one on me, boiay, but that is just too danged funny to be upset over!"

>wife and I sit over in the side lane and wait for the game to start

>the opposing team is glaring at us with sour looks while the company president simply smiles, completely unaware of anything being odd or out of place

>wife starts moving her lips to speak to me

>bring her ball up to me ear so I can hear her through the tiny holes I poked through it

>"I haaaaaate thiiiiiis."

>It's fine, babe. Just one game and we can go home in good favor with boss and the prez. Heck, we may not even have to stay the whole game!

>"Wait, why wouldn't we be staying the whole game? Oh no. Oh shit, this is gonna turn into one of your stupid fucking movie reenactments, isn't it?!"

>What? How? What movie could this possibly be reminding you of? The Big Lebowski? You want me to beat up a bunch of German nihilists in the parking lot and then have the prez cremated into a can of Foldger's coffee? Is that it?

"No! God, no. Just… let's just get this over with, okay?"

>give her a kiss on the side of her ball and get ready to start the game

Cont.

>>236269

>boss is the first one to roll

>he's a decent bowler, not much to brag about, but still manages a spare most of the time

>next, the prez waddles up to the lane, carrying his ball in his withering old hands

>he chucks it into the gutter, looking at the other team with a shit-eating grin as the ball rolls away

>my turn is up, and boss grabs me by the collar before I can stand up

>"We got a handicap on our team, and I do mean that in more ways than one. You and Sleepy Hollow best be good enough to make up for the old man, y'hear?"

>nod as I stand up, carrying wifeball with me up to the aisle

>hear her whimpering as I take aim

>I love you, dear.

>roll her down the aisle with gusto, sending her literally screaming towards the pins

>her body starts flailing around frantically in her seat as a reaction

>she collides with the pins, and their formation shatters

>wife's body jerks up and then goes limp as the scoreboard announces a strike

>walk over to the ball return as boss lays on the floor, practically choking with laughter

>wifeball rolls back up from the depths and I pick her back up

>she's attempting to give me a nasty look, although her lip is trembling and her eyes are somewhat out of focus

>See? You're a natural!

>she shuts her eyes and pouts angrily

>boss walks up and pats me on the shoulder

>"Well, color me impressed, Anon! Yer better at this than I took ya for… but now it's your wife's turn, ain't it?"

>Yes, sir. Don't worry, she's just as good at this as I am!

>walk back up to the aisle and roll wifeball again, causing her to shriek in surprise and flail about again

>she gets another strike and I walk back to the ball return as the boss is on the floor again, laughing his ass off

>the other team starts bitching and moaning that I can't take my wife's turns for her

>What are you talking about? She's still technically bowling, isn't she?

>everyone turns to look at the referee, who shrugs and hesitantly decides to allow it

>our opponents shout in protest as the boss is nearly about to pass out from laughter

>hear muffled swearing as wifeball returns again

>she's shouting something as her body walks up and starts swatting at me in an adorable fit of anger

>It's okay, babe. Just eighteen more rounds between the two of us and we'll be done, alright?

>she starts kicking my shins as I walk over to the Galaga machine and start playing it while the other team takes their turn

Cont.

>>236279

>two hours pass

>the galaga machine's high score board is filled with dirty words

>an ambulance almost had to be called twice because boss was laughing so hard he nearly gave himself a hernia

>our opponents are so salty that they could be served on the menu at Chili's

>it's come down to the wire on the last turn, which is wife's

>we just need one more strike to win the game

>wife has gradually become more complacent as time passed

>for the first time tonight, she gives me a smile

>"I'm sorry I made such a fuss over this earlier."

>It's fine. I understand you didn't want come.

>"I'm so proud of you, honey. Now go. Step forward and win this for the team!"

>I'm not gonna be the one to win this.

>she blushes and bats her eyes at me

>"Y-you're right. We're gonna win it t-together, aren't we?"

>No. The one who will be winning this… is Kel Mitchel.

>"I… wait, what?"

>slowly walk towards the aisle with wifeball

>This is it. My time has come.

>"What time? What does Kel Mitchel have to do wi-- Oh no…"

>It's all about me now. I'm the only one who can save us.

>"No. No no no."

>slowly, the trick clothes I had been wearing begin to fall off

>"Oh my god this is not happening. You are not doing this right now."

>I am transparent. I am like the window. I am see-through. I'm like saran wrap…

>"YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING DARE."

>all my clothes fall to the floor, leaving me buck naked save for my bowling jacket and BK Ratch Techs, which were hidden under a huge pair of fake bowling shoes this whole time

>turn to face my peers, who all have their jaws hanging above the floor

>I did it! I'm invisible! I really do have superpowers! Can you see me?

>"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE FUCKING MYSTERY MEN! ANON YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE NOBODY EVEN SAW THAT MOVIE!"

>the company president bursts into laughter as boss turns beet-red with anger and starts wheezing as he falls to the floor and clutches his chest

>the other team starts shouting at me and run up to kick my ass

>Awwww, here it goes!

>run my naked legs off as they chase me throughout the bowling alley, singing Smash Mouth songs at the top of my lungs

>wife is blubbering miserably as I carry her ball in front of my balls

>"Why are you like this, Anon?! WHY?! You're ruining my life!"

>Zat is an excellent question, Big Tobacco.

>"STOP IT! STOP QUOTING MYSTERY MEN AND LISTEN TO ME!"

>No, dad. He is neither a commie nor a fruit.

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I HAAAAATE YOOOOOOU!"

>hop behind the counter and turn to face my pursuers

>open up my bowling jacket, revealing two dozen forks being held within

>Pardon me, fatty, but if you're going to eat cake, you ought to use a FORK!

>start throwing forks at them with deadly accuracy

>they start freaking out and run out of the building, calling me insane

>the company president is still laughing

>the boss is still wheezing

>my wife is still crying

>"I can't believe you! I can't believe you would do something like this! Of all the horrible things you have ever done, this is the worst!"

>Quickly, everyone! Into ze disco room!

>flip a switch beneath the counter

>the main lights go out and the special blacklights come on, revealing fluorescent neon patters on the floors

>a giant discoball descends from above into the middle of the bowling alley

>It's a Psychofrakulator! Tom Waits said it couldn't be built!

>take wifeball and run towards the disco ball with fearsome purpose

>"What are you doing now?! Why did-- OH NO. DON'T. PLEASE DON'T!"

>I LOVE YOU, DAD!

>hurl wifeball as hard as I can towards the disco ball, screaming through the air

>she collides with it and the whole thing shatters into pieces, falling onto the ground

>run over to wife's body, taking it and her head along with me as I run out of the bowling alley

Cont.

>>236290

>kneel over to catch my breath

>wife's body comes up and starts hitting me, this time out of genuine anger

>"You fucker! YOU FUCKER, LOOK WHAT YOU DID! You humiliated yourself! You humiliated me! You're gonna lose your job AND your wife because you're such a FUCKING LUNATIC! WAS IT WORTH IT?!"

>boss comes roaring out of the building and makes a beeline for me

>he shoves my wife over and wraps his hands around my neck

>"YOU… STUPID FUCKIN' BASTARD! YOU'VE RUINED ME, BOIYAH! YOU'VE RUINED ME LIKE GOD DAMN ROAD KILL"

>Actually, I don't think you're in any trouble for this. It was entirely my own doing. And hey, the president liked it, so what's the big deal?

>his eyes burn like coals as he starts foaming at the mouth

>"What's the big deal? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL!? I HAVE BEEN BOWLING WITH THAT RICKETY OL' BASTARD FOR SIX GOD DAMN YEARS, TRYIN' TO SQUEEZE A PROMOTION OUT OF HIM! DOES HE GIVE ME ONE?! FUCK NO, HE'S A SENILE BAG OF DOG SHIT THAT CAN'T EVEN CHEW HIS FUCKIN' FOOD, LET ALONE RUN THIS COMPANY! I HAVE SPENT SIX YEARS BUTTERING HIM UP SO HE WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE MISTAKE ME FOR HIS SON AND WRITE ME INTO HIS WILL! ALL OF THAT'S GONE TO WASTE, NOW. YOU'VE RUINED IT, BOIYAH!"

>I didn't… but you just did.

>point to the figure standing directly behind my boss

>boss turns around and sees the company president, who heard everything he just said thanks to the noise of the bowling alley being out of his old ears

>he looks like someone just shat in his dinner and starts running his toothless mouth at my boss

>"Ya fuggen shit scoundrel! Ya got-danged piece of chinaman nutsack! How DARE ya!"

>boss tries to say something but the prez absolutely will not have any of it

>"Ya can clean out yer desk first ding in da mornin' and take yer ass back to hunland wid da rest of da fuggen kaisers!"

>my boss says nothing as he looks back down at me in disbelief, before falling over and wheezing again

>the prez turns to me and smiles

>"As fer you, mah boi, I must say dat was de funniest film I seen since Birth of a Nation. Ya got moxie, son. I like dat."

>Thank you, sir. Hearing that from you means more than you could know.

>"Ya know, we got us a spot in managemend dat just dun went vacant. How'd ya like the job?"

>I would love it, sir! I can start first thing in the morning!

>"Dats de endusiam I like ta hear from ya yungins. Keep up da good work, Ben Stiller!"

>the company president waddles away, leaving me naked in a parking lot next to an unemployed dixie stereotype and a beautiful woman holding her own head inside a plastic bowling ball

>wife looks at me with bewildered astonishment as I look back with smug satisfaction

>keikaku doori

>boss manages to get back on his feet and lunges towards me

>"GOD DAMN YOU, ANOOOOOOOOOOON!"

>he gets whacked in the jaw from wifeball, now being wielded by wifebody

>boss is knocked out as wife stares at me coldly, her face still stained with tears

>slowly, her lips curl into a smile and she bursts out into laughter

>"Ahahaha, I can't believe it! That… that was just… You're such an asshole! Ahahahahhaha!"

>she falls into me as her laughter breaks down into sobs

>open the bowling ball and take her head out of it, gently patting her as she calms down

>"Was this really necessary? Did I even need to be here?"

>No, but I wanted my promotion to be something neither of us would ever forget.

>she smiles as she takes her head back into her arms, raising it towards my face and kissing me

>"I guess I'll just take my ball and go home…"

>chuckle as I wrap my arm around her waist and we walk back to the car together

>>236269

>>236279

>>236290

>>236291

Anon, you absolute madman!

Loving these stories, keep 'em up!

>>236291

This is incredible anon, holy shit

Trying something new. It's gonna be a long one, so don't expect me to finish it by tonight.

>years ago as a junior in high school

>our school has very few monster girls, and the ones it does have tend to get bullied

>shy bookworm girl transfers in one day, freckles and shortish black hair

>she's trying to blend in as a human, but I can tell she's a dullahan from the way she never removes her scarf and is constantly re-adjusting her head

>qt af, so I sometimes stalk her in between classes

>one day napping inside a locker in the gym equipment storage

>woken up by a commotion as some people burst into the room

>look through the slits in the locker to see who dares to wake me from my slumber

>three shithead kids walk in with the dullahan

>she's struggling and begging them to stop as they drag her in and close the door

>have genuinely, actually read enough hentai to know where this is going

>two of the kids are laughing their asses off as they pass her head back and forth

>the third kid is holding her body from behind, chuckling as he gropes her breast

>suddenly feel my blood begin to boil

>his fat little hand moves down her waist and prepares to enter her pants

>decide I've had enough of this shit and burst through the locker

>grapple the kid from behind, putting him in a chokehold as my other hand plunges into his pants and grabs his balls

>Alright, nobody move or his virginity gets it!

>the other two kids drop the girl's head in shock

>the girl's body breaks free and runs over to pick up her head, carrying herself into the corner of the room as she watches in awe as the situation plays out

>fatty is whimpering as I keep his balls clutched and his friends try to intimidate me

>”Who the fuck are you, asshole?”

>I am Son of Pencil Head.

>”Son of… What? What the fuck are you talking about? Let go of him, you faggot!”

>Oh, so I'm a faggot now, am I? Well, I may have run up and put my hand on this pig-fucker's penis, but when I did, he was completely flaccid. Look at him now!

>drop fatties pants, revealing to his friends the raging boner he is sporting

>That's right! Absolutely no stimulus when groping the cute girl, but when a stranger grabs his cock, he goes off like a rocket to planet gay! What we have here, gentlemen, is a true, genuine faggot! He was a faggot all along, and you were none the wiser!

>fatty starts crying as his friends look on in disgust, both at him and me

>”Alright, that does it. Let go of him so we can kick your ass!”

>the youths take a step forward, but I grab fatty's member and point it in their direction

>I wouldn't do that if I were you. This faggot is primed and ready to fire at any moment. Eagle twenty, fox two!

>charge at the two while violently jacking off the fatty, who is now blubbering in misery and shameful arousal

>EAGLE TWENTY, FOX TWO! HELLO, BOYS! I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

>the boys turn tail and sprint out the room screaming

>let go off the fatty so he can follow them, crying with his pants down

>the door shuts and I pull a towelette out of my pocket

>turn to the girl, who is staring at me with wide, teary eyes as I wipe the fat kid germs from my hands

>”Uhhh… Th-th-thank you? You really saved me there.”

>Of course. From now on, I'm not gonna let anyone bully you.

>can almost hear the sound of panties moistening as she blushes

>”Thank you. Oh, thank you so much! You're the nicest person I've met here.”

>Let's fix that, shall we?

>walk over and pry her head from her grasp, making her yelp

>”W-what? What are you doing?”

>wrap my arm around the waist of her body and pull it towards the locker

>stuff her body inside and lock it

>hold her head with both hands as she stares at me in fear and confusion

>”I'm not gonna let anyone bully you. From now on, the only one who can bully you is me.”

Cont.

>>236325

Wut

>>236325

>the only one who can bully you is me

>

>>236325

>”What? You're gonna bully me? B-but you said --“

>Close your eyes and open your mouth.

>any semblance of joy she had was now dead as she begins to cry and whimper

>”Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

>The same reason men climb mountains: Because it's there. I'm only going to say it one more time. Close your eyes and open your mouth.

>she sobs miserably as she shuts her eyes closed and holds her mouth open with frightened, trembling lips

>pull out a toothbrush and begin brushing her teeth

>her eyes open wide as she gags slightly, then looks at me with a bewildered expression

>”Wha? Wha are you ooing?”

>Your germs displease me. All that displeases me shall be destroyed.

>give her teeth a good brushing and then pull out, putting the toothbrush away

>”I… I don't understand. That's it?”

>You were expecting something different?

>”Well, yeah, I mean… I thought you were gonna do something… you know…”

>she looks away as she blushes slightly

>”Dirty?”

>Ohhhh, I get it. So you wanted that kind of bullying. Well then, I guess it's time to do something depraved!

>”What?! No! I didn't mean --“

>Too late, sweetheart. If you expect raunchy, then raunchy is what you're gonna get.

>open the locker and pull out her headless body

>her eyes go wide and her lip begins to tremble

>”No. No, please don't. Please!”

>pull her shirt off, revealing her healthy young breasts held up by a modest bra

>”Please stop! PLEASE, NOT THAT!”

>Just remember: You asked for this.

>she bursts into frantic sobs as I prepare to unleash the fury

>slowly, I bring my hands down and begin tickling her savagely

>she starts giggling uncontrollably

>”Eeeheeheehee! Ah! W-what? What are yoohoohohoho! No, stop! Eheeheeehahahaha!”

>the relentless assault continues, and she is now crying and laughing like a maniac

>”Nononono, stop! Stohahaha! I can't breathe! I can't breeheeheehahaha! My stomach! My stomach hurts so bahahahad!”

>You're so adorable I could puke my fucking guts out.

>cease the tickling and shove her trembling body back into the locker

>pick up her wheezing, teary head and sit down with it on my lap

>So how are we enjoying the bullying so far?

>she takes a minute to catch her breath before answering

>”I don't get it. I'm more confused than anything else. What the fuck do you want from me?”

>That depends: What are you capable of giving?

>”I… I'm not going to answer that. Can you please just let me go already? My classes are about to start.”

>Classes are for normalfags and gentiles. Let's just sit here and talk for a while. Hey, do you like movies? Have you ever seen Mystery Men?

>”Uhh, no. No, I haven't. Look, I really need to go, so if you could ju --“

>The thing about Mystery Men is that it actually is based on a comic book. More specifically, a spinoff of Flaming Carrot. Can you believe that? There are so many superhero teams that will probably never get their own movies, but it just goes to show that there's always hope for the littlest of the little guys. It was a great movie, too! Tom Waits was in it. Hey, do you listen to Tom Waits?

>”Y-yes, I do.”

>The thing about Tom Waits is tha-- Wait, what? Are you serious?

>”Well, my dad likes him and listens to him a lot. I like a few of his more romantic songs, but a lot of his stuff is just kind of weird.”

>No kidding? I don't even listen to the romantic stuff and stick solely with the weird. You know; I walk between the raindrops, I wait in bug house square…

>”And the army ants, they leave nothing but the bones?”

>Yeah, yeah! God, I love that. I wish I could come up with something that creepy.

>”I dunno. You're pretty creepy as is. I don't think you need Tom Waits' help on it”

>Really? Tell me more.

>>236235

There, I fixed it for you anon.

>>236336

>”I dunno. You're pretty creepy as is. I don't think you need Tom Waits' help on it”

>Really? Tell me more.

Why do I get the feeling this is what anon looks like?

>”But shoot it in the right direeectioooon!”

>Yeah yeah yeah yeahah!

>”Make making it your inteeentioooon!”

>Ooh yeah, ooh yeah!

>”Live those dreeeams! Scheme those scheeemes! Gotta hit me!”

>Hit me!

>”Hit me!”

>HIT ME!

>”HIT ME WITH YOUR LASER BEEEEEEAMS!”

>the two of us attempt to make 'byoow byoow byoow' sounds but fail, falling over in laughter

>we lay together for a moment before she looks over at the clock on the wall and sees it's nearly five o clock

>”Oh shit, schools been over for an hour now! I've got to get home!”

>say nothing as I continue to hold her head in my lap

>”Umm, Anon? I'm still upset that you made me miss my classes today, but… I really enjoyed talking with you. D-do you think we could meet again sometime? Maybe tomorrow?”

>Why wait? Let's just stay here.

>”Huh? Stay at school? But I have to get home!”

>If you lived here, you'd be home by now.

>”I can't just live in the school!”

>Why not? It's what I do.

>another moment of awkward silence passes by

>”Wait, are you being serious?”

>Of course. You think I'm here because I go to school at this place? Fuck that, I just live here.

>”But… why? No, forget why. How? How do you even live here?!”

>It's got food, clothes, toilets, showers, medicine, internet and confiscated handheld games. I can live like a fucking king in this place.

>”That's just… you can't… How have you not been caught?!”

>Well, I'm usually only awake late at night when everyone else has left. I tend to sleep through most of the school day, but sometimes I'll get up and scout out some of the babes. To be honest, I'm more into the young-ish teachers, but some of the students are pretty cute. You're definitely at the top of my cuties list, by the way.

>her face flushes red with embarrassment and she starts muttering

>”Anon, I-I-I-I really need to g-go! My parents! My p-parents are gonna get worried if I don't come home!”

>No they won't. You live alone in an apartment that they rented for you.

>”What? How do you know that?!”

>I've read some of the papers you turn in.

>”WHY?!”

>What else am I gonna read? One of those government-mandated hebrew tomes from the library? Fuck that, your writing is golden. Especially your poetry.

>”W-w-w-whaaaaa?! Where did you read those? I don't even turn them in!”

>Here's a tip: If you want to keep something safe from me, you shouldn't put it in your locker. Actually, I have a few of your poems with me right now.

>pull out a crumpled piece of notebook paper and start reading from it

>Entropy. The only true constant. The utmost certainty in the ongoing contradiction that is existence. To feel it is to hear the cacophony of silent screams echoing through the void as the stars breathe their last.

>”OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP”

>Who will give ear to the cries of the damned? What false notion of cosmic benevolence could save them from the hell they fear to leave? Vacuity is the only true escape. Death, the only true mercy.

>”STOOOOP! PWEASE STOB ID!”

>she breaks down into sobs and whimpers as she is overcome with shame

>What? I think it's pretty good!

>”Id's nod! Id's tewwibuh! Pwease ged wid ob id! PWEEEEASE!”

>Fuck that, I'm keeping it. This is some Hugo winning shit right here. Arthur C. Clarke wishes he could be as cool as you some day.

>she's almost unable to speak now as tears and snot run down her miserable face

>bring her into my chest as I stroke her hair and shush her

>”Y-you're a f-f-fucking prick! Let me go already! I just want to go home!”

>No deal. We're gonna have a midnight poetry slam in the auditorium. It's gonna be some sicknasty mayhem. Like the Peabody Awards, the Republican National Convention and the Holocaust all taking place in the same room.

>”You're a horrible person.”

>That's fine. I'm going to bed.

>”W-w-what? Right now?”

>Yeah. I didn't get much sleep in before those peter poppers woke me up. There are still gonna be people here for a few more hours, so I need to stay low.

>”Wait! What about me? What if I have to go to the bathroom while you're asleep?”

>it only takes a few seconds to come up with an obvious solution

>open the locker and pull her body out

>bring it into the single-occupancy bathroom behind another door

>”What are you doing? Hey, stop that! STOP IT!”

>sit her down on the toilet and tie her hands onto a pipe with a jumprope

>drop her pants and panties, then walk out and shut the door

>she starts crying again as I take her scarf and gently wrap it around the base of her head

>nuzzle her into my chest and lie down on a gym mat

>fall asleep to the soothing sounds of her anguished whimpers

Cont.

>>236442

Sorry, I had to cut this one a little short.

>wake up feeling a sudden, sharp pain

>dullahan girl is biting my finger

>OW, FUCK! What the hell?

>”I kept calling your name but you wouldn't wake up!”

>So you bit me?!

>”You wouldn't wake up! I'm hungry, dammit!”

>So you thought you could eat me, is that it?

>”What? No, I was just waking you up to tell you I'm hungry.”

>You diabolical Donner. You think you can get away with trying to eat me?”

>”Listen to me, god dammit!”

>How about I eat you, huh? HOW ABOUT I EAT YOU?!

>pick up her head and start chewing on her hair

>”Ahh! Hey, cut that out, you psycho!”

>playfully nibble on her ear a bit

>”Eeeek, stop it! That's l-lewd!”

>she continues to protest as I continue to gnaw at her

>notice the clock on the wall is now past eleven

>Oh hey, everybody's gone!

>stop the nibbling assault and stand up holding the girl's head

>Let's get dinner. My treat. No cafeteria gruel tonight, we're breaking into the teacher's lounge to get some real food.

>she sighs as I carry her head out the gym storage and into the locker room

>”Hey, aren't there cameras in the school? Won't people know we were here?”

>Nope.

>jimmy the lock open on a utility closet

>take the janitor's huge key ring and use one of the keys to open the fuse box

>flip one of the breakers and walk out, taking the keys along with a flashlight wand that I strap through my belt loop

>”What did you just do?”

>Shut off the power in the administration office. It's where they keep the CCTV server. As long as it's off, nothing gets recorded.

>”You did a lot of planning for this, didn't you?”

>It's not so much me being prepared for the school as it is the school not being prepared for me.

>carry her down the darkened hallways with the wand lighting our path

>”It's pretty spooky here at night. Can we turn some lights on?”

>Not in any of the rooms that have windows. That would be an invitation for the midnight paddywagon. Wait, you're not scared, are you?

>”N-no. I'm not scared.”

>Really? I think you're scared. Yer skuuurd, aintcha? I bet you're peeing and pooping into that toilet right now.

>”S-s-shut up, jackass!”

Cont.

>>236490

I'm liking the djinn girl idea a lot, honestly.

>>236490

Would a sandworm girl make a good candidate for bullying?

>>236490

>Milk her, then replace the milk in the cafeteria with her own, giving everyone a taste of her body.

So you bully her by milk-cucking yourself?

>>236489

Sorry about the hiatus. I've been focusing on even more monster girl related writing projects this past week. To make up for it, I'll show you what I have so far: http://monstergirlmanual.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Monster_Girls

>barge into the teacher's lounge

>it's a windowless room, so I turn on the lights

>put the head down on the table and start ransacking the fridge

>Let's see here, we got a half-eaten sandwich. Cold pasta. Some sort of diarrheac indian mush.

>”Is there any pudding? I could really go for some comfort food.”

>Nope, no pudding. Plenty of cottage cheese, though.

>”Aww, yuck! I hate cottage cheese.”

>Really? What a shame.

>pull out the huge bowl of cottage cheese, then turn to face her

>Because cottage cheese likes you a lot. It wants to be inside of you.

>she winces as I take a big spoonful and point it at her

>”I… I can't. My body has to do the eating. Putting it in my mouth is meaningless.”

>Why must you lie? A liar is a terrible thing to be.

>”No, really! I mean it! Only my body can eat food.”

>Really? Alright, I guess I'll go and pour this entire bowl down your neck stump. Want me to bring you back one of your fear turds?

>”STOP! DON'T!”

>she sighs as her face starts to scrunch up slightly

>”You win.”

>she closes her eyes and opens her mouth, allowing me to shovel the cottage cheese into it

>she groans in disgust as she reluctantly chews the cheese, then swallows

>cram another spoonful into her mouth as she takes it, starting to tear up again

>”Why ah you heing so mean do me?”

>Have you forgotten our little talk about men and mountains?

>”Jush sdooob! I wahha go hooone!”

>she starts blubbering as little curdles of cheese fall out of her mouth

>start shoveling faster, stuffing her cheeks with the cheese

>Is it safe?

>”Wuh… whuuuh?”

>Is it safe?

>”Ah ont dow wah yuh dawging ahoud!”

>Is it safe?

>”Awww bwwuuuuhhh huuuuuhhh!”

>make her finish off a third of the bowl before stopping

>she gags and swallows the last bit

>”You're a prick and I hate you! Let me go!”

>ignore her and pick up her head, turning it upside down

>It's amazing! How does it all get to the body? Nanomachines? Reptilian overlords?

>”Why don't you have some yourself, asshole?”

>put her head back down and pick up the bowl

>tilt back and chug every last bit of cottage cheese in less than three seconds

>throw the empty bowl against the wall, shattering it into pieces

>she just looks at me, not saying anything

>open the fridge and pull out three cups of pudding

>her eyes sparkle as I open one of them up

>You win. I was also lying.

>scoop out a spoonful of pudding and put it in front of her mouth

>she pouts and turns away as I nudge her cheek slightly with the tip of the spoon

>after a minute of resistance, she sighs and opens her mouth

>as she takes the first bite, I notice her smiling a little

>feed her all three of the cups and pick her up, walking out of the lounge

>Well then, where to now?

>”Home.”

>Nah, that place is a fucking dump. Wanna go to the chemlab and make some semtex?

>”You're going to jail for this, you know. You're breaking more crimes right now than I can count.”

>Come on, isn't there anywhere you wanna go? Any part of the school you've always wanted to see at night?

>she stays quiet for a minute, then mutters something under her breath

>”The library.”

Cont.

What would you do if you see Astaroth bullied by her daughter?

>>238952

Found it.

>>238962

>>239005

And the next one. I'm on a roll today.

http://pastebin.com/bf9Qui8Q

>>239016

Nightmare Robot? Is that you?

>>239025

No "Cont."

>>239093

>think, eh, it'll be harmless enough.

>Look at the other tags

>stomach deformation

>Look at the doujin out of curiosity.

Okay I know fetishes can get really weird and all. And your drawing it so it doesnt need to be realistic but at what point does her dick just go straight through her like a chest burster from Alien? Look at this shit. And spoiled for saftey reasons

>>239104

I always found it kind of funny more than anything. Are you saying that you're the kind of guy that doesn't like a laugh while blowing his load?

>>239123

I like a laugh as much as the next guy. But sometimes you gotta step back and go "wait, what is even going on?"

>>236325

>af

>tfw futa porn derails a perfectly good bully thread

h-have I finally become the bully'ed?

>>241528

>Ask not for who the bully teases, he teases for you.

Also how great would it be to bully an Ara Ara?

>>241528

>futa derails a bully thread

I guess you could say the thread got screwed over.

>>241609

More like the tread got filled with a bunch of dicks.

Merry Christmas, /monster/. I just barely got this one done in time… for EST, that is.

http://pastebin.com/yWHMNUh3

>>244765

Holey Moley what a wild ride. Wish I'd have audacity to write like that.

>>244765

Always lovin' your stories, anon. Best ride since Mr. Bone's…and you all know how wild that was.

>>244765

I have no idea what in God's name I just read but I do l know that it was fucking brilliant

>>244765

This is fucking gold.

>>247504

It's because the writefag's stories on this thread are becoming legend. He's like an autistic god who knows what you love.

Baically, read the following posts to see his previous stories…

Anon and his dullahan waifu in Legends of the Hidden Temple

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

Anon and his waifu bowling

>>236269

>>236279

>>236290

>>236291

Anon and his waifu in High School

>>236325

>>236336

>>236442

>>236489

>>238915

Clearly, if you'd read these posts, you'd see how the writefag is basically pic related…

>>244765

Did I just read the script to a cancelled Invader Zim Christmas special?

>>247520

>>247730

I admit, I went kind of overboard with the possum shit. I find possums fucking hilarious, and I find swarms of angry possums attacking people on christmas even more so. It's just that I was running out of time and needed to finish the story before christmas ended, and I needed a way for anon to ruin christmas immediately after saving it, so I said fuck it and threw in more possums.

Anyway, I'm currently writing some non-/monster/ stuff right now, but I will return to anon and his wife at some point. That I promise.

>>227630

>Right at the climax she yells " Today is our Independence Day!"

>>236100

>>236136

>>236137

>>236269

>>236279

>>236290

>>236291

>>236325

>>236336

>>236442

>>236489

>>238915

>>244765

Holy mother of fuck you are one funny glorious bastard

>>259768

>a week after our first date

>up at noon to make an outside supply run

>lunch time is one of the few times I can go in and out of campus without raising suspicion, so I use it as an opportunity to go out and buy things

>eating lucky charms straight out of the box as I walk out of the supermarket

>spot someone familiar across the road, sitting alone at a table outside some horrible oriental gruel den

>dullagirl has her head attached and her scarf on as she carefully eats from a bowl of noodles

>sneak up and pour some lucky charms into her bowl

>"Hey, what the-- Anon?! W-what are you doing here?"

>America.

>"…What?"

>You need more America in your diet. Chinaman broth is notorious for containing endangered rhinoceros bile, which they use as a remedy for tooth aches and sexual impotence. For the sake of your nutrition, I recommend balancing it out with wholesome American corn byproduct and glucose-infused pseudo-marshmallows.

>"Even though it's centered around blatant Irish stereotypes?"

>Stereotypes are the means through which Americans categorize the silly people who do not live on our god-blessed soil. Now eat before it gets soggy.

>"I'm not eating this!"

>her stomach lets out a loud grumble as she blushes and looks away

>hesitantly, she picks a bundle of marshmallowed noodles out of the bowl and shoves it into her mouth

>How's it taste?

>"Aww gawd, itsth awffuuhh!"

>Wow, rude! You know there are starving children in the shit country these people came from that would be happy to have that.

>"Shupth up, yuuh digck!"

>grab the attention of one of the asian chefs as he walks by

>Yo, Ping Pong! This girl says your food tastes like Ho Chi Min's lice-ridden commie nutsack!

>the chef squints his eyes even further as he scowls at her

>she turns red with humiliation and chugs the rest of her bowl, trying not to gag as she runs off

>follow her as she walks back to school, downing the last of her meal

>"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

>What? I'm just trying to broaden your view of other people's cultures.

>"You were the one who… Fuck it, just leave me alone."

>Why? We already bumped into each other. Let's hang out for a while.

>"What makes you think we're friends all of a sudden?"

>Because you kissed me.

>she lets out a tiny squeak of surprise as she comes to a complete halt

>"T-that was… I d-d-din't mean it like… Y-y-you're…"

>Wanna do it again?

>"FUCKYOUANONIMLATEFORCLAAAASS!!!"

>she screams as she hightails it back to school

>her head pops off and falls towards the hard concrete

>do a hardcore MLB dive and catch it as I slide across the sidewalk

>"Oh! Ummm, th-thank you."

>No biggie, smalls.

>plop her head back onto her neck

>she turns to look at me, then gasps

>look down to see a shitload of blood seeping through my shirt

>"Anon, you're bleeding!"

>That I am.

>"W-we need to get you to the nurse's office right away!"

>Naw, it's fine. It'll scab over in a little bit. Besides, my blood sugar was way too high, so I don't see a problem with letting some of it seep out.

>"It could get infected, though! Come on, you're coming with me!"

>she grabs my wrist and pulls me along as we run back to school together

Body too long. God, I hate that.

>the next day at the school gym

>hiding behind some bleachers while watching her play basketball

>god damn I could live in those beautiful thighs

>she keeps fumbling as she's trying to play while at the same time struggling to keep her head attached

>the gym teacher tells her to take five as the other girls on her team give her nasty looks

>she sits down in the bleachers and sighs

>reach my hands out and grab her head, pulling it under

>her body reflexively raises her scarf to hide her missing head

>"Eep! What the hell, Anon?!"

>How are you today?

>"I was doing just fine until you showed up."

>Were you really?

>she opens her mouth to say something, then looks away with a sad expression

>sit down with her head on my lap

>Does nobody else know that you're a Dullahan?

>"Nobody besides you, some of the teachers and those three dickheads. I prefer to keep it that way."

>Why?

>"I don't want them to know I'm a freak."

>stand up and force her head against the wall, staring at her an inch away from her face

>You take that back.

>"W-w-what?"

>There is only room for one freak in this gym, and it ain't you. Now repeat after me: I am not a freak.

>"I… I am not a freak."

>I am a beautiful girl.

>her face turns bright red with blush

>"I am a b-b-beautiful g-girl."

>And I love Anon.

>"What?! No!"

>give her a fierce noogie

>"Augh! Stop it! I won't say it! I won't!"

>You'll have to sooner or later. You may as well get it over with.

>"Why do you want me to love you so badly, anyway?!"

>I know you already love me. What I want is for you to love yourself.

>the noogies come to an immediate halt

>"Whuh… what?"

>Listen, I don't like getting sentimental, but it really does hurt seeing you hide yourself in shame every day. You're beautiful, and the whole world can be god damned if it doesn't accept that. I want you to be able to love yourself because I think you're someone worth loving.

>she looks at me with big puppy-dog eyes

>"Anon, I…"

>suddenly, the teacher calls her name

>immediately place her head back on her body

>she flawlessly transitions back into class, standing up and walking back onto the court

>along the way, she discovers the note I slipped into her pocket

>it says '9 PM. Cafeteria. Gym Uniform.'

Cont. Get fucking ready.

>>261090

>>264225

>freestyle beatboxing over the PA as mechahead carries herself down the aisle

>with some effort, she manages to make her way up the steps that lead to the stage

>she gives a sour look to the giant mound towering above her, then sighs as she begins her precarious journey

>she's still choking back tears as the mechanical spider awkwardly ascends

>it's at this moment she realizes the beatboxing stopped over a minute ago

>a huge dollop of cottage cheese smacks her in the eye

>her other eye burns with hatred as she looks up to see me standing on the catwalk above her with a massive bowl of cottage cheese

>Cheesed to meet your acquaintance!

>take another spoonful and fling it onto her hair

>she says nothing and only glares at me in contempt as she continues onward through a hail of cottage cheese

>at long last, she reaches the summit where the GLOWING PIECE OF OUR RADICAL ROCK awaits her

>dump the rest of the bowl directly onto her, prompting her to burst into tears as I pull out a huge bag of confetti and rain it down as well

>You did it, girl! You beat the crag!

>"FFFUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

>she's crying so hard she's got snot dribbling out of her nose as she coughs and whimpers

>slide down a rope and stand beside her on the peak of the crag

>I'm sorry I did that to you. Tell her what she's won, Mo!

>flip open her notebook to reveal a piece of paper hidden inside it

>it's a letter from the principal addressed to 'the person who wrote all this beautiful poetry'

>the principal states that he wants her to represent our school in the state-wide poetry competition

>he goes on to say that her work could easily make it to the nationals

>at the very end, he wrote "There's no need to feel ashamed of what you write. You are a gifted individual… You really have it!"

>she stares vacantly at the letter as tears continue to stream down her cheeks

>beatbox vigorously for another minute before running out of breath, collapsing onto the giant fucking garbage heap

>Oh god, oh fuck. That took a LOT of effort. Jesus, I think my lung is bleeding a little bit.

>"It was all for this? You made me go through all this just to see it? You did this whole crazy, stupid setup… just for me?"

>Yeah, and now I gotta clean it up before the teachers get here in a few hours. Still worth it.

>her head remains silent as I pick it up

>it's completely drenched with cottage cheese, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, peanut butter, fire-retardant foam, preserved frog slime and cockroach legs

>I guess we should start with this, huh?

>whistle the GUTS theme to myself as I carry her back to her body, freeing it from the ramshackle cage it had been trapped in

>You can go shower off now. I'm gonna get started on hosing down the cafeteria.

>her body remains still, facing towards me as I nudge her head towards it

>Well? C'mon, I got shit to do!

>"You need to take responsibility."

>…I'm sorry, what?

>"I said you need to take responsibility, Anon."

>What the hell are you talking about?

>"I want you to wash me."

Cont.

>>264246

>time stands still for a moment

>turn her head to face me

>she's blushing bright red and averting her gaze

>slowly look up and start eyeing her body

>suddenly, her head jerks up like she just realized something

>her arms cover her chest in embarrassment

>"Ah! I meant my head! I just want you to wash my head, that's all!"

>Oh. Oh! Yeah, I can, uhh… I can do that.

>we both look away from each other

>But if you need me to wash anything else, I'm not against that, either.

>her body starts slapping at me

>"No, you jerk! Just wash my damn head!"

>carry her head down to the locker rooms, her body following while nervously holding my hand

>the body stumbles into the girls' showers

>"I can take it from here."

>carry her head into the boys' showers and turn one of them on

>she shudders slightly as I hold her head under the stream of warm water

>sit down and start lathering her hair with shampoo

>"Well?"

>Well what?

>"Aren't you gonna bully me?"

>At a moment like this? After all the shit I put you through, no less?

>"It seems like a great opportunity."

>Do you think I'm made of bullying? Jesus, woman, give me some time to rest!

>"Oh, I get it. You're not man enough to keep up with bullying me, are you?"

>Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!

>start rubbing my hands all over her face

>How's this for bullying, huh? Does this satiate your ravenous appetite for humiliation?

>"OW FUCK MY EYES!"

>pull away as she yells out and her face scrunches up

>"Owwww ow ow ow, it burns! You got soap in my eyes!"

>Shit! Shit, I'm sorry!

>reach over and grab a towel

>I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to--

>look back to see a smug expression on her face

>"I finally got you."

>my jaw drops as the towel falls from my hands

>You…

>grab her head and give it a fierce noogie

>How DARE you!

>she laughs out loud, unfazed by the assault

>"Do what you must! I have already won! Ahahaha! I finally beat you!"

>break out into a fit of laughter and fall over backwards

>we laugh together for a minute as I lay down in the shower, her head on top of my chest

>finally, our eyes meet again

>her eyes sparkle as they seem to get closer every passing second

>don't even realize that I'm instinctively moving my head towards hers

>our eyes close as our lips meet each other with a kiss

>pull back slowly, seeing her turn bright red with embarrassment and smile

>"I… I… love you, Anon."

>I love you, too.

>pull her head into my embrace, curling myself around it as I hold her as tight as I can

>she nuzzles herself into my chest affectionately

>bring her head back up to mine and kiss her again

>an hour goes by, the two of us still making out as we use up all the school's hot water

>her head lays beside me as we gaze into each others eyes, which slowly close as we drift of into sleep, exhausted from a long night of bullying

Cont. And it only took fifteen posts!

Taking a break from the highschool arc to focus on more dumb fun. Here's a sequel to the original story.

>cute dullahan wife and I on our visit to universal studios florida

>walking along a path as she eats soft-serve ice cream while cupping her head in her arm

>"I'm not upset that you decided we should stop in Orlando for a day on our way back from Brazil, but… Honey, you really don't look like you're having fun."

>I didn't come here to have fun. I came here with a purpose.

>"What purpose?"

>point towards an obnoxiously colorful building in the distance

>there's a big orange sign on top of it that reads 'Nickelodeon'

>They're shutting it down in a few weeks. Soon, it will be nothing but another warehouse used to store back-up members of the Blue Man Group.

>"Awww, you wanted to see it for yourself before it goes away? That's so cute!"

>No, I've seen it before… and I prayed I would never see it again. Until now.

>"Sorry, what?"

>Look at my shoes.

>wife's head tilts down to see my trusty, beat-up BK Ratch Techs

>"Those are your favorite shoes. You've had them longer than I've known you… but what does that have to do with Nickelodeon?"

>These shoes are my cross to bear. A painful reminder of the glory I was denied. They are…

>a single tear falls from my eye

>…A consolation prize.

>"Prize? Prize for wha-- Oh my god."

>February nineteen ninety three. Silver Snakes.

>"Bullshit."

>We were up to our knees in the dry-ice paddies, just another bunch of kids to be chewed up and spat out by the jungle.

>"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking."

>There were temple guards coming out of the fucking trees, man! They didn't even wait for you to stick your hand inside to look for the key!

>"Honey, please. You're scaring the children."

>grab her head and start shaking it vigorously

>YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN! YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW! WE HAD TO EAT OUR OWN ELBOW PADS JUST TO SURVIVE! YOU WEREN'T EVEN FUCKING THERE!

>"Honey, please! Now you're scaring the adults!"

>shove her head back into her arms and lean over a railing

>I'm sorry, it's just… I was so close.

>"To what?"

>The temple. Ever since I saw it on TV, I thought it looked like the coolest shit ever. I wanted to experience it. More than anything else in the world, I wanted to run through the temple, even if it was just once! After a lot of blackmailing, I finally got my parents to take me here and sign me up for the show. I was so excited that day. It was like the whole world was going to explode, and I would be the one to pull the trigger!

>"Okaaay, so… what happened?"

>Candice happened.

>>264347

>>264348

>late at night, the park has shut down and all is quiet

>emerge from inside the big Universal Studios metal globe

>Awww, here it goes!

>sneak my way towards nickelodeon studios in my black catsuit carrying wife's head along with me

>"I cannot believe you talked me into this."

>Do you mean breaking into the studio or playing your specific part?

>"Both. Do you really think they're gonna buy this?"

>Never doubt the naivety of late-night security guards.

>tip toe over to the slime fountain, hiding from the guard standing at his post

>This is it, babe. Don't fail me.

>"I… Anon, I really, really don't want to do this."

>You promised! We're balls deep in this shit together. Balls deep! BALLS. FUCKING. DEEP.

>"Okay, fine! Just stop saying balls deep! Jeez."

>in the distance, her body begins approaching the guard

>Guard: "Whuh? Oh! Hello, sir. What brings you here so late at night?"

>wife's body is wearing a catsuit with a fake bald, blue head attached to her neck

>she pantomimes enthusiastically in front of the guard

>Guard: "Ah, I see. But… renovations aren't for another month. Don't you think it's a little too early to be doing that?"

>she pulls out a tiny saxophone and pretends to jam a sick tune on it

>Guard: "Sorry, sorry! I understand, sir. Yes, we can make the arrangements for it right away, just please calm down."

>You've got him right where you want him. Let's move!

>sneak up the stairs as the guard continues to converse with the distraction body

>enter the dark, decrepit hallways of children's entertainment television

>the walls are plastered with images of cartoon characters from shows that were cancelled almost twenty years ago

>Fuck me, it's like a tomb. A tomb of childhood wonder and innocence. And clinton-era television.

>"How do you even know the temple is still here? I keep telling you there's no way they still have the damn thing. There's no reason for them to have it taking up space for twenty years!"

>I can think of at least fifty reasons, but that's beside the point. It's here, and we're gonna find it. So help me god, we will be through the temple before the sun rises again.

Cont.

Is this good bully?

>>267968

no

>>264417

>waste over an hour wandering through the studio halls

>most of the empty rooms have been duds

>so far, have only been able to find one of Marc Summer's ties and at least twelve banned episodes of Ren & Stimpy

>finally come across a big door leading to what is clearly the biggest section of the building

>This is it. It has to be in here. It just has to be!

>"Do you promise not to freak out when it isn't?"

>I promise… because I already know that it is!

>pry the doors open

>before me is a huge, maze-like studio set that looks like an obstacle course

>My god, it's… It's…

>instead of a jungle theme, however, it just looks like some gaudy mcmansion

>FINDERS KEEPERS?!

>"What's Finders Keepers?"

>AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

>run up to the set and start breaking it into pieces

>FFFFUCK YOOOOOU, FINDERS KEEPERS! YOU WERE JUST A SHITTY PROTOTYPE! GIMME THE TEMPLE! GIMMMMMEEEEEE!

>"Honey, calm down!"

>No! No, I will not fucking calm down!

>"Look, it's not so bad, right? I mean, it kinda looks like the hidden temple. Maybe you could settle for this instead?"

>I did not come this far just to settle for FINDERS FUCKING KEEPERS.

>"Anon, please! Please just calm down!"

>GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD CALM DOWN IN THE INSULTING PRESENCE OF FINDERS KEEPERS!

>"Because I think the guard is giving my body a tour through the studio and I could be wrong but it feels like they're coming this way!"

>duck behind one of the fake rooms just as the door opens

>the guard walks in with wife's disguised body following behind

>Guard: "And this is the set for Finders Keepers! None of us had the heart to get rid of such a relic of quality television history, and we're really sad that it's gonna be taken down soon, but it's a sacrifice worth making if it means bringing forth the new world order with you and your men."

>wife's body gestures to the door, seemingly trying to coax him elsewhere

>Guard: "Yes, sir. Phase three will commence the moment the satellites are in place. We estimate that at least ten percent of the populace will be rendered sterile by the cosmic event."

>wife pulls a notebook and pen out of her pocket and writes 'Hidden Temple?' on it, showing it to the guard

> Guard: "Temple? I don't think the Masons have any in this state. There are plenty in the DC metropolitan area, but most of them are just red herrings meant to keep the Gnostic orders off their trail."

>wife smacks the notepad against her fake head and writes 'LEGENDS OF THE Hidden Temple' on it

>Guard: "What? Oh, that. We got rid of that thing years ago. Most of the props were even given away as consolation prizes on Figure It Out. Nobody cared about Legends, anyway. Finders Keepers, on the other hand. Now that was a show!"

>eyes bulge and blood boils

>"Honey? You're crushing me a bit… H-honey?"

Cont.

>>268051

>The Anon Incident

>>268097

I got bored of waiting for an update,so I decided to screencap the second one.

Well this one took forever.

>>268097

I'd call her fat.