Playing for youself vs playing for others

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Playing for youself vs playing for others Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 04:59:47 No.158341

Hi /erp/

I find myself playing for other people a lot of the time. I make a lot of profiles that 'fill the void' so to speak, such as doms (especially dom pinks), GM profiles, profiles focused on multiple characters, etc.

So far it's been really good. I often don't really know what I want half the time, and knowing that other people are happy is a genuine part of my enjoyment from RPing. But I think I've been doing it too much. I have a lot of partners that I do enjoy playing with, and want to please me, but I find myself getting irrationally resentful because of it; even when I do find a scene that caters to my desires, I sometimes feel a little bitter, just because it's not perfect, or it could be better. There's also the fact that I start too many longterm scenes, and I have to tell people that I'm busy a lot. Even if I'm enjoying it, sometimes it can be a chore, especially when partners are (naturally) a little upset that they can't play right then, or when I plan something but can't play it right then. I'm starting to think that sometimes I imagine that they're being passive aggressive when they really aren't.

tl;dr RP has become a sort of obligation now and I'm pretty sure it's just in my head. Should I just take an extended break from RP? Do I have to tell some of my partners that I just can't continue our scenes anymore? Anyone else have a similar situation? Sorry if this was a little rambly.

Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 06:57:14 No.158347

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>>158341

I have a similar problem with "filling demands," though I'm more selfish in that I do it so I'm approached more rather than for my partner's enjoyment. Despite how much I try to convince myself otherwise I thrive on attention and I need to snap out of but I'm addicted to feedback. And then I end up burned because what's in demand isn't really that enjoyable to play so I end up deleting them. And then I get bored trying to get play on the characters I /do/ enjoy playing, whose types are a dime a dozen. Rinse and repeat. I wish I was genuinely into futanari.

…As far as it being an "obligation," I'd recommend taking a break; if a hobby begins to feel like a job, fire yourself for a little while, and maybe let your partners down gently. You'll come back to a clean slate in terms of partners and (hopefully) wiser for your mistakes. Don't take on more long-term than you can handle while assuming the worst of your schedule. Don't take on more partners than you have the time/energy for. Be a little more selfish and don't be afraid of rejecting people even if you really like their idea. It's nice catering to other people, but remember that at its core the entire point of a hobby is /you/ enjoying it. The rush you get from pleasing someone else is a bonus.

Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 07:56:06 No.158351

>>158341

Maybe you shouldn't play characters for them. Instead, play characters for you, that they would want to fuck.

And stop promising play if you can't think of a single situation between the characters that you can get into.Having a number of people waiting for you is what makes it feel like shit.

Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 13:31:25 No.158369

>>158351

The problem is that most of the time I can think of some fun scenes, ones that we would both enjoy to some degree. The problem is that even if I RPed all day, there wouldn't be enough hours. It really does feel like shit, I really need to cut down.

>>158347

Yeah. Of course it's nicer to immediately get play too. I suck at approaches, and of course part of it is laziness on my end too.

Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 14:20:14 No.158370

>>158369

This has happened to me. Not just in RP, but in a couple of other hobbies as well. You've got two options, from my perspective anyway. One is wait for someone magical to show up who will introduce you to ideas you've never done before, but sound intensely appealing. That and you'll get along really well with them. This has happened exactly once to me, so I wouldn't count on it.

The other option is to stop for like a week. It's really hard to do, because you'll feel that urge that you can at least log on and browse a little. Before you know it, you'll be writing something again and you'll be stuck in the same rut. So you need to take a pretty significant amount of time. A week is good, two weeks if you can manage it.

Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 16:47:36 No.158379

>>158370

Yeah. It wouldn't be a big deal, but I notice myself doing this sometimes in 'real life' too. Saying yes to social arrangements, or starting projects when I know that I'll forget, or be too busy, or outright don't want to. Taking a week break, or limiting myself to just a few partners has been helping so far

Thanks for the advice

Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed) 23:54:12 No.158401

>>158379

Things that really helped me have been steady exercise and meditation - but even when I keep up with that, it still happens slowly. Take a break! Life is gruelling and even just basic maintainance takes a lot of energy.

Anonymous 01/11/18 (Thu) 01:01:13 No.158416

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>>158341

What a jumble. You enjoy it, you don't enjoy it, it makes you happy, it's a chore. It's almost as if…

> "I often don't really know what I want half the time,"

There it is. That right there. Your problem. The root of your misfortune. You aren't playing for others at all, you're being a spineless blob of misplaced altruism. Tough love time. Pucker up.

If you don't know what you want to play, don't. You aren't helping anyone. You're a time vampire, dangling treats you don't care about for attention that isn't even making you happy anymore. Your heart isn't in it and why should it be? These aren't your desires. This isn't altruistic in the slightest.

Stop trying to fill the void. Get your head down and figure out what excites you, then make that your none negotiable. Sure you'll loose some partners, but at least you aren't leading them on anymore.

Anonymous 01/16/18 (Tue) 02:12:21 No.158895

>>158416

>loose some partners

This is why all "tough love" posters are shit roleplayers.