I've finally ordered my first dildo!

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File: e2c360e66890cd4⋯.jpg (26.03 KB, 450x308, 225:154, IMG_9226.JPG)

I've finally ordered my first dildo! Anonymous 05/08/17 (Mon) 09:01:58 No.340254

So since I live with my parents it has always been a no no ordering something like that because I barely buy stuff from the internet

I found out recently that my city's local post office has like some sort of public PO box where they randomly assign you a booth with a code and you just write that number instead of your name when ordering from an online store

Then you track it with an app and they tell you when it's available and I'm so excited rn!

I gotta start thinking places to hide it

Anonymous 05/08/17 (Mon) 11:04:08 No.340266

>I gotta start thinking places to hide it

There's a pretty obviously solution to this, you know…

Anonymous 05/08/17 (Mon) 15:53:38 No.340295

>>340254

In furniture, under dressers, in old consoles, many things.

Anonymous 05/08/17 (Mon) 17:10:19 No.340305

Where did you order from? Be prepared for them to ask you that and tell them to mind their own business in the politest possible way. Happened to me.

Anonymous 05/08/17 (Mon) 23:02:52 No.340372

>>340358

Pretty clever, actually. I've always been a fan of cutting a hole in an inconspicuous place on your bed's box-spring and putting stuff in there. Parents might think to look under the bed/mattress, but I doubt they'll ever look INSIDE.

Anonymous 05/10/17 (Wed) 01:23:15 No.340517

>>340372

hu hu hu hu hu

Anonymous 05/13/17 (Sat) 09:17:48 No.341036

File: 089d95f43222d4e⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 127.57 KB, 1344x760, 168:95, pic3.jpg)

Here is the story of mine and where I hide it.

>Get horny while watching traps

>Spent a good long while looking at dildos

>Left one in my cart for half a week

>Fapping to trap again a week later

>Order it after struggling really hard not to

>Stress out for 5 days because I don't want anyone to know

>Was hoping it would be in the mailbox or left at the door like practically everything else I've ever ordered online

>Everyone was asleep or distracted as I checked back every hour

>Mailman rings the doorbell which is unbelievably loud

>Jittering like crazy as I sign for it

>Lie to everyone and tell them I ordered an amiibo

>Decide to see if I could be a trap

>Consider myself a pretty lean person

>I think the video evidence I made says otherwise though.

>Shaved everything

>Have got off from only anal stimulation multiple times with much smaller things

>Dildo is larger than myself by an inch or two and even a bit wider

>Suctions

>Record it

>Have 3 cameras and while recording each have 3 wildly different recordings

>One made everything look snuff film levels of dark

>One was disgusting because of how perfect the picture looks

>The last was just really really low res

>I Enema, Lube up my perchase and despite its size it slides right in

>Couldn't fit the entire length of it by about an inch

>Felt nice anyway

>Shoved it in

>Rode it

>after 20 minutes I gave up and fapped while penetrated

>I couldn't cum from it

>Try again a week later

>Same result

>A week after that I decide it was a stupid purchase and I probably should have bought a plug like I originally intended

>Nobody around

>Clean it methodically while intending to store it somewhere and hope nobody ever finds it

>Decide to insert it and walk around

>Car pulls up, freak out and stay in the bathroom for a while until everyone goes out back

>Try it a 4th time

>Basically only cum because I was rubbing my dick against my clenched thighs

>Lock it away by putting it in a freezer bag at the bottom of a bag of unassuming stale chips.

>Try again weeks later

>Crazy great prostate orgasm

Anonymous 05/13/17 (Sat) 09:40:00 No.341038

>>341036

>>Shaved everything

Just an aside question. Shaving the gentlemen's region. Am I right in saying it's outright superior to trying to regrow the amazon rain forest around your dick? Or is it just something that's expected of boys trying to be as cute and "girly" as possible?

Anonymous 05/13/17 (Sat) 10:00:33 No.341043

>>341038

It's just expected because it's attractive. It's actually shit tier for sweaty balls and swamp ass. All that hair actually serves a purpose and when you save it all off things get uncomfortable.

Anonymous 05/14/17 (Sun) 04:48:18 No.341226

>>341036

Vids of you fucking yourself with it pls.

Anonymous 05/14/17 (Sun) 05:15:35 No.341236

>>341043

Anon how did you get yourself hairless? I'm working up to doing it and bought some nads hair removal cream and tested it a bit on my chest, but I've also heard that magic shaving powder works well but I don't know where I can get any locally or by using PayPal. What did you use to give yourself an enema and how can I do it myself?

I'd love answers to any of these questions they'd help me so much!

Anonymous 05/16/17 (Tue) 08:31:39 No.341647

File: 712fa327cd31434⋯.png (1.76 MB, 1885x872, 1885:872, ClipboardImage.png)

>>341636

I don't want to diminish your bravery for posting videos of yourself, but those undies aren't very becoming. You look like you're wearing an oversized diaper.

Legit, go to walmart or target and pick up a cheap pack of non-white hanes or fruit of the loom boxers or boxer briefs in the smallest size you would be comfortable in. Or be a good little cuteboy and buy a few pairs of panties. Honestly anything besides whatever those loosey whities are, except for tighty whities, they'd be a side-grade.

Same with the socks, get some thinner material socks. Vertical stripe-sewn mid-calf socks are for kids. (are those tube socks?)

in other words, form-fitting, soft-looking undies are better all around, and thick rough fabrics don't look good. Also, google images for boxer briefs gave me a good fuckin laugh. amazing keks were had at these.

Anonymous 05/16/17 (Tue) 08:59:27 No.341653

>>341647

>Underwear so tight I can tell he's circumcised

Anonymous 05/16/17 (Tue) 09:47:16 No.341663

>>341043

Actually, shaving bodyhair helps against odors if anything from what I've heard. I'm not really 100% sure since I keep hygienic and don't really get to a point where I'm like actually smelly, and I've been shaving everything since I was like 15 years old… but from what I hear, and this is admittedly mostly about armpit hair, bodyhair is a breeding ground for the bacteria and sweat particles that allow rancid smells to thrive. Getting rid of it means there's less for that smell to "stick" to and thus you don't smell as gross. I know that's true for armpit hair with relative certainty, but I can only assume it's the case for butt and crotch hair too.

Comfiness comes down to how often you shave though. It's comfy when it's smooth. not so much when stuff starts growing back.

Anonymous 05/16/17 (Tue) 17:15:02 No.341706

okay OP here

so as I said I got a notification on my phone that the package was ready for pick up at the PO box

I went there , the machine had a scanner kind of thing and asked me to open the app and scan the barcode.

a small door opens instantly with a p big box, luckily the packaging is discrete but I couldn't get the box inside of my backpack (fuck) It's not like i'm gonna walk home with a huge box and not expect everyone to ask what's inside so I decide to open it outside the PO place.

I was scared af because I have social anxiety and thought everyone in the street was staring at me. I opened the box and quickly removed the dildo from it putting it directly into my backpack.

There was a bill inside with my name and also a discount code (I made sure to disintegrate that , I took a pic at the discount code though)

I trashed the box and went home

Got inside my room and I unboxed it, woah man it had a VERY strong smell of rubber or something like that. (I should've gotten a silicon dildo, I did a research and made sure my rubber dildo wasn't toxic)

I waited until I was alone and I'm not gonna get into details but I had the best orgasm of my life. I rode it forever and also sucked on it for a while, it felt so incredibly lewd and good.

Okay so here's the problem, even ONE day later the whole bathroom smelled of rubber, like it was so strong i'm not even kidding, my room too.

fuck, never again. I'll get a silicon dildo next time.

Anonymous 05/16/17 (Tue) 19:30:18 No.341718

>>341706

Try washing it with warm water and baking soda. That should get rid of the smell.

Anonymous 05/16/17 (Tue) 21:03:11 No.341734

File: a6829222b13ba37⋯.webm (Spoiler Image, 1.99 MB, 960x676, 240:169, a6829222b13ba37d346973c2b….webm)

>I gotta start thinking places to hide it

ur bum stupid

Anonymous 05/17/17 (Wed) 16:34:00 No.341851

>>341734

Sauce? my penis wants to take a pilgrimage to bury itself in that holy site…

Anonymous 06/21/17 (Wed) 18:27:37 No.347627

>>341663

>butt and crotch hair

Nooooooooo.

That's not true at all.

When I shaved my crouch and ass They were always to hot ( I think hair helps dissipate heat ) and I was always smelly and sweaty.

Anonymous 06/21/17 (Wed) 19:17:37 No.347648

>>347627

You're going to sweat no matter what, but you shouldn't be "smelly" so long as you bathe and wear fresh underwear every day. The thing is, if you've got a nest of hair in your crotch, the smell stays even after you wash it because crud gets stuck to the hairs.

Anonymous 06/21/17 (Wed) 19:31:49 No.347651

>>340254

I hope for your sake you didn't buy one made in China.

Anonymous 06/23/17 (Fri) 14:40:39 No.347831

>>341236

Here's something you could try.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YNGUSH6zutTcv_osPURNvH8K19mXiX730Y-JeDRMNbI/edit?pref=2&pli=1

Or just use a razor.

Anonymous 06/23/17 (Fri) 16:23:00 No.347835

>>347651

I think he did >>341706 >man it had a VERY strong smell of rubber or something like that. (I should've gotten a silicon dildo, I did a research and made sure my rubber dildo wasn't toxic)

Anonymous 06/23/17 (Fri) 18:55:25 No.347846

File: 2c0a73176b84cc9⋯.png (857.09 KB, 1400x5552, 175:694, Chinese are kikes.png)

>>341706

Some anon awhile ago made a post on what to look for and what to avoid and I wish I saved the post for such an occasion, needless to say avoid rubber and latex and make sure the silicon one is of good quality and not porous, never buy cheap but most important of all NEVER buy anything made form china not just dildos I mean anything from there in general.

Also before you use a brand new one wash it in boiling water to sterilize it.