No.970004
Why the fuck does every arc in this comic revolve around fucking cuckoldry? First Wilbur is cucked by Zakk, then by Cousin Pedro, now Doctor Geoff is going to get cucked by chin man? What the hell? Why is Mary Worth suck a venomous trollop? What the hell is Moy Brigman thinking?
No.970019
No.970029
>>970019
I'm not fucking kidding.
No.970036
>Caring about newspaper comics
All the good newspaper comics are dead, and the ones that are actually considered good by the majority suck. Look at Garfield or Dilbert. They both have their rare moments, but as a whole they are terrible. Charlez Schwartz is dead and the only thing that comes close to good anymore is Family Circus (not made by its original author) or Bizarro (which is good for the surealist element, while it's commentary is often without substance). Web Comics that are also in newspapers are much better, but those are a rarity. You don't see "Kevin & Kell" in your newspaper, but it is syndicated.
No.970042
>>970036
>All the good newspaper comics are dead
Today's Dick Tracy comic strip had SIMON FUCKING STAGG. Simon Stagg, from METAMORPHO.
Not even DC comics remembers Simon Stagg.
No.970066
>>970042
Is dick tracy a dc character? The fuck?
No.970069
>>970042
Is he insidiously buying a chain restaurant?
No.970070
>>970066
Dick Tracy had a team-up with the Spirit not too long ago. I don't know what the fuck is going on with that comic.
No.970087
>>970029
Keep posting. We might have a reaction image goldmine on our hands.
No.970094
>>970087
I guess I'll storytime a bit then.
No.970097
Wilbur is a failed parody of a man. He works as a journalist covering humanitarian crises and writes an advice column where he poses as a woman.
No.970098
>>970004
Rule 34 on that foxy eldster?
No.970099
>>970098
Mary Worth's gmilf pussy is so tight it has driven men to alcoholic suicides.
No.970100
>>970099
Shit that posted backwards.
No.970109
>>970102
wew that escalated quickly
No.970162
>>970160
>Please tell me you have strips highlighting this.
It comes up in the next couple of scenes. When he went overseas to help chronicle the plight of the minorities, he left it in Mary worth's gmilfy hands.
No.970165
>>970036
>You don't see "Kevin & Kell" in your newspaper
Good.
No.970168
Sadly Toby's husband isn't in this arc because he's hilarious. But now the real secret comes out: all of these women secretly crave college aged Chad dick.
No.970169
No.970178
>>970168
>Mentioning Macron's wife
So they're shilling her in the USA, too.
No.970219
Wilbur confirmed bitch incel
cannot fucking believe I'm getting intrigued by this shit
No.970358
>>970042
He was used in that awful Beware the Batman cartoon.
No.970413
Those muffins will be important later.
No.970511
>>970413
Poor Constanza. He just can't catch a break.
No.970528
Live action Mary Worth, when?
No.970533
>>970528
Already happened in the 90s.
No.970545
This is like Funky Winkerbean only with more cucking.
No.970803
>>970004
Be honest OP, you're a 70 year old woman, aren't you?
Mary Worth was one of those things like Sally Forth and Mark Trail that I'd heard of but never actually read, but these were actually really decent. The art's pretty good and the writing is enjoyable soap opera schlock. The comic strip format does it a huge disservice though. I couldn't imagine reading fucking two panels a day until that sweet Sunday goodness.
>>970545
and (presumably) less AIDS.
No.970950
>>970803
>Be honest OP, you're a 70 year old woman, aren't you?
I am a virile young man.
Do people do cheers with muffins?
No.970952
This is the good wholesome shit I like
Except the cucking
No.970954
>>970004
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ALDO.
I WATCHED YOU DIE.
WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED?
No.970957
>>970950
>Do people do cheers with muffins
People do cheers with pretty much every type of food consumable. Do they not where you're from?
No.970958
>>970954
Is that Captain Kangaroo?
No.970960
>>970954
It's a shame we won't be covering that, or the guy who bakes a cake with her on top.
No.971033
>>970950
Why can't I stop fucking reading this?
>Do people do cheers with muffins?
Come on, look at that guy. He's exactly the kind of fag that would do cheers with a muffin.
>>970960
>or the guy who bakes a cake with her on top.
What? You can't just drop shit like that without context was it an erotic cake?
No.971103
>>971033
>What? You can't just drop shit like that without context was it an erotic cake?
Mary Worth, who has been in her late sixties since the 1920s, has a habit of attracting male hangers on and stalkers. The most recent and catastrophic is Aldo, pictured here >>970954, which lead to a drunken DUI suicide following a severe bullying/intervention by strangers.
The cake incident is in one of the Mary Worth in New York plots, where she meats Hillary Clinton's publicist and a fat man who falls in love with her and enters into a celebrity cake baking contest with her. At the top he puts a small mary worth, because she is so great. They are heckled by the crowd, because as you know cake baking contest crowds are notorious rowdy.
No.971106
Having failed to enter into an unhealthily co-dependant relationship with his ex and a latino hussy, Wilbur seeks to enter one with his daughter.
No.971166
>>971103
This is like the Hallmark channel movie of comics and is just as addicting and unintentionally? funny.
No.971589
>>971583
So wait, he wants to fuck Dawn?
No.971590
WHY WON'T THE MUFFINS RECTIFY THIS?!?!?!
No.971630
NEW ARC! WILL IT FEATURE CUCKING? Yes.
No.971654
>>970029
>>970094
>>970168
The Wilbur stalk vs The Zak play.
No.971671
When will she finally join the MCU?
No.971672
>>971630
>sunsets teach us that even endings can be beautiful
Wilbur's going to end himself in some spectacular fashion. isn't he?
>>971671
Will she be young and hot like Aunt May?
No.971675
No.971891
>>971676
>>971675
Wilbur and Mary made a pact that when he kills himself, she's to grind him up and make him into muffins. Those muffins are then to be sent to Iris, so he can be inside her one last time.
No.972577
>>971891
Well that's depressing.
No.972585
No.972781
HA HA TIME FOR CUCKING
>>972361
We'll do that when we're caught up.
No.972854
>>972781
I don't trust Ted, he smiles too much. I think he's going to intentionally lead Mary down a series of bad financial roads until she's bankrupt. Then he swoops in and is all "Listen, I feel just awful about this, Mary. I'll help you get back on your feet again, no charge. All I ask is to get a nice good taste of your- muffins."
No.972869
>>972854
I don't know if there is anything more obvious of a scam than "I'll take care of all the work, you just need to provide the initial investment…"
No.972884
>>972854
Ted is a wanted rapist.
No.972974
>>972884
Is it rape if you want the rapist?
No.972976
>>972781
>>972854
I already hate Ted. He's a pushy faggot.
No.973031
>>972974
>marketing your muffins
>think of all the people who would enjoy your muffins
Yeah, it's sounding more and more like Mary's going to become a courtesan or something.
No.973034
>>972974
Getting a bad vibe from Ted
No.979804
>>972884
Ted is the Zodiac killer.
No.979819
>>979640
I would like to stick my penis in Mary's moist muffins. Her actual muffins, though. Not her vagina.
No.979827
>>979819
She keeps her muffins in her vagina, anon.
Why do you think they're moist?
No.979835
>>979827
Seems like a good way to get yeast infection.
No.979914
>>979871
Finally, raping time is here.
No.981133
>>970070
Holy shit Dick Tracy is still a thing. My local newspaper doesn't have any cool strips like that.
No.982800
>>982525
>I could HANDLE the attention and I KNOW my muffins are GREAT
There's no way that they aren't aware of the double entendre of Mary's last bit of dialogue. Like, there had to have been some point where someone wen't "You know what this sounds like, right?"
No.983009
Doctor Geoff practically begging to be cucked.
No.985277
We digress from this riveting plotline for the Best of Mary Worth
No.985333
>>985301
Damn, Mary's current design looks a lot better than the older one here. Although this Dawn is a QT. Would have raucous sex with while Wilbur cries in the next room. Then when I accidentally knock her up, I'd attempt to run away, but after a heart to heart with Mary over her muffins, I decide to be a man and help her raise the kid.
No.985354
>>985333
This is from before Wilbur became a huge cuck. He used to be a sports columnists who was at one point wanted by the FBI for attempted terrorism. Not joking, we'll get to it soon.
Also Ian is always redpilled as fuck.
No.985546
>>985354
>who was at one point wanted by the FBI for attempted terrorism
Hardcore
No.985586
No.985665
>>985546
I told you I wasn't kidding.
No.985883
>>985860
I hope Wilbur murders Susan Westgate and mounts her severed head on his automobile.
Also, muffins.
No.986038
>>985981
Its more annoying larping than anything else.
No.986062
>>985981
>>985936
WILBUR DID 9/11! LIVES COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED IF MARY JUST TURNED HIM IN BACK IN 1998!
No.986108