This isn't normally my thing but I do have a story.
So around 18 months ago I was on a diet and was only a couple of pounds from reaching my goal. I weighed myself every week and recorded the number, so if I missed this week it's be another week until I'd done it, and I was just impatient with it. So I thought I would "cheat" and lose all the non-bodyfat weight I had inside me, so I didn't drink anything that night and I tried to pass a stool (since I hadn't done for days) but nothing would come, so I checked the medicine cabinet and found a bottle of milk of magnesia. Perfect. I measured out the correct dosage and swigged it down, and it was delicious, so almost on impulse I decided to down the whole bottle.
Fast forwards a few hours, my stomach was making some incredible noises, but no stool. I was already pretty tired and I didn't want to risk going to sleep and making a huge mess, so I dug out my "emergency" nappies, taped myself in and hit the hay.
I slept all through the night, I might have drifted in and out of sleep but I was never lucid enough to examine myself or my surroundings. Quite a blissful slumber actually.
When I woke up it took me a few seconds to remember what I'd done. As I turned over I felt the thickness between my thighs, and I recalled I was wearing a nappy. But why? Oh that's right, because I went to sleep with a belly full of laxatives.
I threw my covers off and the aroma became apparent. It didn't fill the room but it was evident that I had indeed let myself go unwittingly.
I took a step out of bed and my guts let out a screech to signal that they weren't finished yet, like they'd be calling me all through the night and I'd only just reached the phone.
I was a little trepidatious about the current volume of my nappy, and the additional burden of the expected delivery, but still in my groggy morning head, I relented and gave the command to release.
The house was mine alone in the morning, as it usually is, so on the way to the bathroom I made a detour and booted up my computer, grabbed a smushy seat and checked the news.
About 15 minutes was all my nerves could take, knowing that I had to remove the evidence seeing as how four other people live in this house, and Loki might have picked today to mess with me, so I dejectedly waddled into the bathroom on a high of exhilaration to remove my sordid shame.
~fin~
that was supposed to be a very short story, whoops