/tv/ - Television and Movies

>>2112255

>third act is a blackmail plot

>only just now, weeks after the death, did anyone think to look at the old man's toxicology report

>mysterious blackmailer is threatening spic nurse with it

>bad boy still helping her for some reason

>gee, Slaphead Johnson wouldn't go the super obvious route and have bad boy be the blackmailer, would he?

>yes he would

>not only that, but at the very last second the detective deduces out of nowhere that the bad boy secretly orchstrated the spic nurse's incompetence with morphine

>so it was ACKSHUALLY the bad boy's fault all along!

>bad boy realizes that the jig is up, takes a knife from the knife wheel and stabs the spic nurse in the heart with it

>it's almost a really intense and intimate scene

>too bad this is a Rian Johnson movie, so actual emotional intensity isn't allowed

>the knife he grabbed was one of those fake spring-loaded knives, so the spic nurse is fine

>bad boy is dragged off to prison

>spic nurse, having successfully dodged the consequences of manslaughter, heads out to the balcony to stare haughtily at the old man's family while sipping from his coffee cup

>whiteys btfo, the end

There was a "what did he mean by this" somewhere in the movie too. Anyway, the really wierd part about the whole experience was that when they had me pick my seat it looked like the almost the whole movie was sold out and I had to pick a spot in the front row. Then I actually got into the movie and it was almost completely fucking empty. It was like the theater was faking ticket sales for the movie, or maybe people bought tickets and then decided not to watch it, I don't know.

Anyway, shit movie. First and last Rian Johnson flick I'll ever pay for. 2/10 never again

>>2112255

>>2112256

>fa/tv/olcel btfo's himself by sitting through dup btfo: the movie: the flick

>>2112262

What makes you think OP is a vol?

>>2112255

>It's worse than you ever imagined.

This is what I expected, and it was still worse than I imagined.

Why the fuck did you go see this?

>>2112272

So I could make this thread, mostly.

>>2112281

>moistly

I saw it because some friends wanted to go see a movie. Didn't even know it was a Rian Johnson movie. Everything OP said it true, but I enjoyed it for the most part anyways. The actual writing for this is surprisingly good, with very few lines spoken at all or scenes shown that don't end up being clues or called back to. If some of the blatant faggotry was cleaned up, it would be a surprisingly competent script for a hollywood, "star-studded" flick like this. It's not jeans-creamingly funny, but it's still pretty entertaining most of the way through.

They also do a pretty good job showing that the family is a bunch of shitty hypocrites. Every last one of them is full of shit. All the DUP BTFO shit in the film is contrasted by the fact that every last one of them is racist as hell, stuck up, greedy, and amoral. When push comes to shove, they get worse. Even the SJW daughter who is close to the spic nurse betrays her for no reason.

The only character that doesn't really get any kind of meaningful screentime is the youngest grandson, who is only there to be shat on (like OP said) and scream exactly one line where he calls the spic nurse a degenerate anchorbaby, or something like that. The Old Man's two dogs have more character and nuance and relevance to the plot than the Nazi Grandson, who is only ever shown fucking around on his phone and nothing else.

tl;dr - I liked it, but it's got problems.

>>2112289

>tl;dr - I liked it,

You faggot hapa. Go back to Julay.

>>2112289

Sounds like a garbage movie regardless.

>>2112289

Great bait, anon. Really well done.

>>2112333

>>2112292

Thanks, we can't have any nuanced opinion in this board

The message of the movie is basically "it's okay if your boomer grandparents handed off the nation's wealth to spics because something something pull yourself up by your bootstraps."

Rian making reference to how boomers left their fortunes to non-whites instead of their own kin is actually kino as fuck

>>2112393

Yeah like handed down wealth makes for evil people or something.

>>2112383

>nuanced opinion

You mean faggotry? Yes. That can go to julay.

>>2112397

Unironically, the most woke movie of 2019.

>unintentional redpill movies

Based and kino, but it shows how Hollywood types are so stupid that their propaganda movies always end up leaving people getting the exact opposite message. What are some other movies where the audience immediately gets that the movie is meant to shove propaganda down their throats and ends up thinking completely opposite things from what the faggot directors envisioned?

One major brain damage at the end that old bigbrain johnson never properly addresses is the slayer rule. There's a scene where the family briefly discusses the slayer rule, a law which states that the killer of a person cannot inherit that person's wealth, as a way of getting the fortune out of the spic nurse. They explicitly state that the slayer rule applies even if responsibility for the death is only proven in civil court.

So what the fuck is stopping Chris Evans' character from just telling somebody what he knows? The spic confided in him that the old man had killed himself to cover up for her. You might not be able to prove criminal charges with that, but you could absolutely prove damages in a civil court and thereby fuck her out of the will. Now that the bad boy is going to jail, he might as well just tell somebody about that just to spite the spic. The old man's oldest daughter - who is also the bad boy's mother - just so happens to own her own multi-million dollar beauty company, so it's not they can't afford the legal battle.

There is no fucking way that the spic nurse actually comes out of this on top.

>>2112490

umm, old wh*te "men" laws don't apply to PoC sweetie, because they are racist and sexist. my dad's son works at lionsgate and he said in the alternate ending all the racists are jailed and the dreamer nurse celebrates drumgf being impeached, they are waiting to add it in the directors cut re-release this january.

>>2112497

dup btfo

>>2112255

Not going to watch it

Not going to read your recap

Also

>giving Ruin Johnson money

ISHYGDDT

After this and Last Jedi, I'm thoroughly convinced Rian Johnson is just trolling everyone and doesn't really believe any of the shit he pushes. His brand of poz is just so over the top that I can't take it seriously. It's like a parody of the Hollywood Poz Parade.

>>2112607

He is almost like a mix of Uwe Boll and Tarantino. I watched Inglourious Basterds and the way the characters were presented got me rooting for Hans Landa's character up until the end when he cucked out and got marked as a result. If I didn't know better I would have thought Tarantino was trying to glorify the Nazis, since every single Nazi in the movie were portrayed as just Germans trying to do their job and some of them being terribly efficient at it, including the dude who managed to kill the britbong (ironically played by a fucking German) in the tavern shootout.

Watched it. I liked most of it, because I like whodoneit stories, but I have some major complaints with it

>Marta's vomiting condition goes from instant vomit on its introduction to "She can hold it until it's convenient"

>Marata feels like a writer's self insert because the latter half of the movie feels like it's trying to move heaven and earth to make her out to be completely faultless and flawless, even has the detective go "you won because you're too kind :)))" even though in a decent story her "kindness" would be naivety and exploited to shit, but everything just goes her way over the latter half of the movie. The morphine mixup? She's just a great nurse and noticed "slight differences in viscosity of the liquid" because Chris Evan's character switched the labels on the medicines! She's not incompetent!

>The character of the Daughter in Law's daughter, and the Michael Shannon's son. They're both utter fucking shit that exist to virtue signal, and also the movie tries its best to make the daughter out to be faultless.

>Revealing the mystery 30 minutes in is a terrible idea

>All of the characters are practically one dimensional. Marta is too kind and is a foreigner and nothing else. Ransom is a dick and nothing else. Michael Shannon is… an underdog because his father shits on him out of no fault of his. Jamie Lee Curtis is a cunt, her Husband's cheating on her. The daughter in law is obnoxious, her daughter's also too kind and faultless and a liberal leftist. Michael Shannon's son is (said three or four times in the movie) AN ALT RIGHT TROLL. Michael Shannon's wife apparently has no name and I don't think she spoke once in the movie. Really the first 30 minutes before the reveal is just there to make you go "oh the family is a bunch of dicks but Marta is totally flawless and kind and nice and flawless"

>The final 20 minutes of the movie, everyone but Marta dips into single digit IQ to move the plot along

>>The housekeeper who has the tox report is blackmailing Ransom(seriously what a stupid fucking name), but the meeting place is in a secluded, boarded up building with no one else nearby, so he kills her by morphine poisoning(But of course she dies like 5 hours later instead of 10 minutes as mentioned earlier in the movie)

>>Marta confesses to the murder but both police officers and the detective give her a pass to go apologize to the family

>>At the end of the movie the detective makes the most bullshit, far reached speculation about the details of the murder and he's actually correct about them

>>Then bad guy who went through all this trouble covering up his shit somehow decides "fuck it, I'll confess to it all but there's nothing you can do because I've got a lawyer and the house keeper isn't dead, nya nya" which ultimately gets him caught because the housekeeper's dead but Marta's vomiting conveniently was delayed long enough for him to buy it.

>And it's revealed Marta has a blood drop on her one sneakers the entire movie, which makes the detective suspicious she was there during the death and he does jack fucking shit about it

>Despite being civil negligence the slayer rule somehow doesn't apply to Marta and she inherits the will because ???

Really I'm disappointed because the entire time I'd rather be watching a better Whodunit like The Usual Suspects.

Any recommendations for good Whodunits?

>>2115144

>>2112597

The dog scene wasn't in the book and the author actually filed a complaint against the studio for including it against his will.

I laughed my ass off when Daniel Craig spit out that foghorn leghorn accent

But yeah, it looked like for a moment that Munchknob Squarehead was attempting to direct something that didn't follow a standard murder mystery plot, but at the end it swerved right back to formula and made me wish I had watched an episode of Elementary instead.

Hell I'd prefer one of the cancerous feminist episodes of Elementary to this unfunny pigshit film

>>2112255

>>2112256

My, god… It's a masterpiece!

DUMPF BAMF BTFO